nabo13 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I had a best friend, she was my friend with benefit too. I was clear and told her we are only friends from the begining of our relashionship but she always wanted a serious relationship. I moved away so our friendship became long distance, just talking on the phone like once a week and texting. My friend met somebody and cut me out of her life suddenly. She texted me that she met somebody and told me to take care. In short, She told me through texts that her bf doesn't want her to talk to ex lovers, I live far away, she doesn't want to be alone and told me to deal with my feelings and to leave her alone. She is extremely changed which was a big shock for me because she was loving and cared a lot about me. I texted her again and found out that her bf is reading my messages and he is texting me back, sending me hate messages, and telling me stuff that she is saying about me just to hurt my feelings. My question is did she do that out of hate toward me? or she is controlled by her bf? or she wanted my friendship until she found somebody. She is a lonely person and doesn't have friends. I don't want to do anything with her but I am confused and have a lot of anger because of that jerk.
Lemontang Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 In short she's in a relationship now. It's not cool her boyfriends screening her phone true, but it's also not your call and it's her choice to be with him. She chose to move on after you continually blocked her at the pass and she finally decided to find what she was looking for with someone else. Best you go find a new FWB. You made it clear you were only a FWB from the start and from my experience it mostly never ends nicely if it's long term as one person will always want more. I'm going through this kind of thing myself at the moment with an ex fiance of mine from many years back, she was an on again off again fwb between my dating years. I always knew she wanted more but never took her up on it and she very rarely pushed it. I'm now in a new relationship and only a few days ago she told me she's now seeing someone too. First person in 5 years since we broke up (for the record when I was in a relationship or dating I wasn't also seeing her, sorry not into cheating). Needless to say I'm really happy for her, but it also hit me like a tonne of bricks like I'm sure it's hitting you now, realising what it was I'd put her through over the last few years as she did want to get back together and I even strongly considered it this year with her but after a messy breakup I'd had in another relationship I didn't want to bring that baggage at the time with me, plus our careers and distance got in the way and neither of us wanted to move so I never pursued it and moved on. Still take this and learn from it, FWB's usually don't work especially in the long term as one of the two parties will eventually want more than a casual friendship and often at times when the other finally does come around to the others way of thinking that persons long since moved on themselves.
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