youngskywalker Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Being gentlemen like vs. putting a girl on a pedestal? How do you define both? Where do you draw the line between the two? I consider myself a gentlemen but I don't want to put women on pedestals in so much as their turned off when I go on a date with them.
gisellefromhell Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Being a gentleman is a matter of etiquette. It's whatever your mom and dad taught you how to treat a woman. Putting a woman on a pedestal is you making that person infallible in your own mind. Sort of needlessly making yourself a doormat just because you think she's so awesome.
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Being a gentleman = how a guy treats every woman. Putting a girl on a pedestal = how an insecure guy treats a woman who expresses interest in him.
zengirl Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Being a gentleman = how a guy treats every woman. Putting a girl on a pedestal = how an insecure guy treats a woman who expresses interest in him. Perfect definition. Though I would even say that being a gentleman factors into how a man treats other men as well. Gentlemen have good manners and positive attitudes towards people.
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Perfect definition. Though I would even say that being a gentleman factors into how a man treats other men as well. Gentlemen have good manners and positive attitudes towards people. This is a VERY excellent point.
Yer_Blues Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 The word gentleman is old, ambiguous, and makes me nauseous. I wish it would fall out of use Putting it on a pedestal is pretty much being desperate to the point where you tip your hand
AverageJoe Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with women. Although I do recall a thread where someone said if you didnt buy her dinner, or a drink or something to that affect. You were not one. A pedestal - You dont worship women.
Author youngskywalker Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 Being a gentleman = how a guy treats every woman. Putting a girl on a pedestal = how an insecure guy treats a woman who expresses interest in him. I like it. It's also refreshing to know that under the definitions of this thread I don't put women on a pedestal. [being a gentleman factors into how a man treats other men as well.] I like that also. But, where does the romance come into play then? I might be a bit confused. Are we simply talking about dating and not intimate relationships?
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 But, where does the romance come into play then? I might be a bit confused. Are we simply talking about dating and not intimate relationships? Gentlemanly behavior is all about respect, whether it is in encounters with strangers, friendships, dating, or intimate relationships. A gentleman will still go after what he wants, but he will do so without disrespecting or compromising the integrity of others.
zengirl Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Gentlemanly behavior is all about respect, whether it is in encounters with strangers, friendships, dating, or intimate relationships. A gentleman will still go after what he wants, but he will do so without disrespecting or compromising the integrity of others. This definition, FTW, I think.
AverageJoe Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Gentlemanly behavior is all about respect, whether it is in encounters with strangers, friendships, dating, or intimate relationships. I will disagree with this. Respect is earned, not given. Although, this does not mean you treat people with ill regard. It means as a person you have manners, self awareness, etiquette and proper decorum with interactions with those that you may meet. You hear this from females mostly. They deserve respect. No, they dont. No more than some stranger I may encounter on the sidewalk. I certainly wouldnt hand out respect to Timothy McVeigh. You probably wouldnt either. Now, you may respect the actions or opinions of another. But lets try to be clear. Respecting a person for who they are, it is earned.
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Respect is earned, not given. I absolutely agree with this statement. However, based on your usage, I believe we are talking about two different meanings of respect; with yours being much more discerning and closer to esteem than my usage which is synonymous with basic standards of decorum and behavior.
AverageJoe Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I absolutely agree with this statement. However, based on your usage, I believe we are talking about two different meanings of respect; with yours being much more discerning and closer to esteem than my usage which is synonymous with basic standards of decorum and behavior. This can also fall into the category of dislike. I may know someone and dislike them, but during the time of me knowing them doesnt mean because I dislike them, they may not have earned my respect. You can lose respect easier than you can earn it. I always keep that in mind.
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 You can lose respect easier than you can earn it. I always keep that in mind. Absolutely. And once that respect is lost, it's doubly difficult to ever regain it and damn near impossible to get it back to the level it was before. However, I try to give everyone the same initial modicum of respect which is theirs to lose.
zengirl Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I will disagree with this. Respect is earned, not given. Although, this does not mean you treat people with ill regard. It means as a person you have manners, self awareness, etiquette and proper decorum with interactions with those that you may meet. You hear this from females mostly. They deserve respect. No, they dont. No more than some stranger I may encounter on the sidewalk. I certainly wouldnt hand out respect to Timothy McVeigh. You probably wouldnt either. Now, you may respect the actions or opinions of another. But lets try to be clear. Respecting a person for who they are, it is earned. There are levels of respect. Nobody automatically deserves your highest level of respect --- that's earned --- but there's some level of respect (manners, decorum, decency, kindness) that is owed simply to other human beings -- not for gender or actions or anything, really, except acknowledging that we're all people and deserve some dignity. I mean, I respect human life. When you come to people who challenge that with a paradox, such as McVeigh, who does not, himself, respect human life, but who is a human nonetheless. . . well, that's rough. I get both sides of that debate. I tend to fall on the side of rising above (I don't believe in the death penalty or putting people to death if there is any alternative, for instance), but I wouldn't fault anyone for going the other way on that one. However, until someone has DONE something to lose that level of respect, there's a general level, all people should get. For instance, a gentleman (or lady) doesn't go spitting on people or bumping into them in the street. Now you can make that about decorum --- the way someone tells you to act --- but I'd rather make it about respect --- the way I know to act towards people because I respect myself. At any rate, I think it's a definition thing.
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