Lishy Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 When a woman in her late thirties meets a guy, when does the dating turn to a relationship? How do you know you are not dating anymore and in a relationship? How do you instigate a relationship or find out where you stand with a guy you are dating? I am asking you guys as I have been talking to my friend about this and we have differing ideas so I would like to hear what you all think
Eeyore79 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I waited a few weeks, and after we had sex I basically said "So, are you my boyfriend now?" He said "Yeah", and that was it!
january2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Regardless of age, I think it's down to mutual agreement. That is, there isn't a universal time period.
AverageJoe Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I waited a few weeks, and after we had sex I basically said "So, are you my boyfriend now?" He said "Yeah", and that was it! This. Just ask. You will know where you stand. HINTS DO NOT WORK.
Jazzari Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I don't think its so easy. If you wait right before sex, it seems like you are holding out. I'll give you sex if you give me a committment. A relationship shouldn't be a business deal. So I don't like that. If you wait until right after sex, that is a really touchy moment. The guy is already braced for the much despised "after talk". The timing just seems really bad to me. And I wouldn't want to come off as needy or insecure in that moment. And it's not like you can easily slide it into a converstaion at any other time. "Gee, dinner was great. Wanna be an exclusive couple?" Leading up to it is just painful for both of you. He doesn't get your subtle clues of let's talk about it, and you just get frustrated because you don't know if he really is that stupid or is purposely avoiding the subject. And WHEN??? When is it too soon? Do you measure time in terms of contact? Do emails, texting and phone calls count? Or does only physical dates count? Do you ask when you are ready, or try to figure out his timetable? Or just not do it at all, and let him pull the trigger?
Saxis Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 When/if we made it to sex. I won't be seeing other people at that point and I expect the same. If she doesn't agree, it ends there.
Jazzari Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 When/if we made it to sex. I won't be seeing other people at that point and I expect the same. If she doesn't agree, it ends there. Do you make that clear before or after the sex? How do you broach the subject?
Saxis Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Do you make that clear before or after the sex? How do you broach the subject? I've never had to bring it up as a subject, and so far I've never been wrong about my assumptions, whether she wanted a relationship or not. I've never had anyone ask me either. Probably because I never juggled multiple dating partners around when it mattered, and nether did they. The problem I DID have with that is... I settled before looking around more.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I'm in a similar situation with a girl I met online. We've moved a little fast for the amount of times we've seen each other, but most of the dates have involved overnight and we've been sleeping together now for over a week. I'm met her friends, she's met mine (which I almost never introduce a girl I'm just "dating" to my friends). She has mentioned the not ready to meet her family yet which is fine, but we haven't had any kind of relationship discussion except we both agreed to take down our dating profiles and not see anyone else. One of my best friends put it like this....I have an event I'm going to with her, a dinner party, in a week or so, and a lot of her friends will be there. So odds are she will be introducing me. If she doesn't ask me just before the event "how do I introduce you?", then it'll come up when people ask her who I am and she will then decide to read into "is he my boyfriend?" because the situation calls for it. Other than that things have been going better than I could imagine and I feel no pressure with her whatsoever to "define" anything. It'll come up when it comes up.
zengirl Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I usually know what I want within a month (interested in the guy for a LTR or I'm out, because that's all I do), and it's always been confirmed aloud by both of us within two months. Everybody has their own priorities, their own time frames, and their own experiences.
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