tobydog Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Right, I have been stupid, very stupid, an idiot in fact. I sent her a nasty message via FB, nothing threatening but she called the police and they said not to message her again. Which I have not at all. Then loads happened like I lost my beloved dog and he didn't come to pick Matt up so I was so angry. Then I talked to my mum who has a pal whose son works in the shop the OW works in. He said to his Mum that she is a slag and has had more men than a dose of salts, likes younger men and is RUFF! So being angry I sent stbx a mail telling him I was disgusted that he had not seen Matt over Christmas and then I threw in the I know what her co worker said and good it just affirms all I know. So today SHE sent me a text telling me I am disgusting for all my lies and despicable behaviour etc. Threatening to tell my headteacher and the police and that I should not say Andrew ran off to be with her? She mentioned slander but that is spoken words and I have not libelled her...I don't think? Well the mail was sent to stbx Andrew so not her. And the stuff I quoted was 3rd hand, why would I make that up? I don't know her co-worker who is a convict I may add and doing CS in her shop, one of the biggest fraudsters in this city! I have not harrassed her. They still deny being a couple tho I was told today they were caught on camera kissing before he left. I will never contact them again I promise but could I get into bother for this mistake? Cheers folks! Debbie x
carhill Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 If there are no guns or bombs involved, don't worry about it. The cops have better things to do than deal with people who hurl verbal F-bombs at each other. Learn to better control anger and focus on more productive things and leave drama behind. This may entail making new friendships and business associations and leaving others behind. Life is about choice and growth. Good luck
Author tobydog Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Thanks, Now I am crying again about my dog. I miss him so much. More than the ex. I am at rock bottom again..... But you think I can't get into trouble for this? Re-assure me please..... Debbie x
2010_Sorry Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 If there are no guns or bombs involved, don't worry about it. The cops have better things to do than deal with people who hurl verbal F-bombs at each other. Learn to better control anger and focus on more productive things and leave drama behind. This may entail making new friendships and business associations and leaving others behind. Life is about choice and growth. Good luck Debbie - carhill is right. The cops don't really want to deal with silly civil stuff like that, unless there is physical violence. The OW sounds like a real piece of work too... I bet that you would push her buttons even more by just ignoring her and moving on from all of this.... I've found that taking the high road typically makes people MORE upset. Let HER be the one to lose her cool.... So sorry to hear about your dog... they are the absolute best friends, aren't they? And we can say whatever we want to them and they won't whine about slander or liebel!!
YellowShark Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Get off Facebook. Delete your profile. Walk out the front door and live your life like billions of people did successfully for centuries prior to Facebook being invented six years ago. GAWD... if I had a nickel for all the "F"-ed up Facebook-related crap posted here on Loveshack.
Yasuandio Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Debbie I worried so much about the same type of thing and have learned my lesson. Like the other contributors said it just looks like f-bombs. But you must stop. Regardless of the content, constant unwanted contact can be viewed as harrassment. If you are sued for defamation of character, TRUTH is your defense. It costs money to file lawsuits, and it's a huge hassle. Further, the topic becomes an issue of discussion in the courts and possibly in public. Therefore, I am posing a different sort of response to your post. Yes, technically you can get in trouble for saying and writing things about people that are untrue, or hurt their reputation/character. But someone would have to prove you did that maliciously, and therin lies another component to this type of litagation. I am NOT an attorney. I just read up on the topic. Take this lesson to heart immediately, no more writing, FB, email, etc. Find your self a new pet that needs your love.
Yasuandio Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Debbie, Look into adobting an unwanted dog asap!
tojaz Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Thanks, Now I am crying again about my dog. I miss him so much. More than the ex. I am at rock bottom again..... But you think I can't get into trouble for this? Re-assure me please..... Debbie x Debbie, I'm assuming from your language that you are in the UK and I am not familiar with the law there. In the US though there would be no grounds for any real action so long as no physical threats where used. If you where to say, mail her every other day to tell her what a skank she was, then maybe, but it sounds like you have said your piece and moved on. I wouldn't lose any sleep over this, you have enough to fret over. .... and I'm with Yasuandio, find yourself a nice rescue to keep you company. My kitty does wonders to lift my spirits. TOJAZ
delajoonal Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Right, I have been stupid, very stupid, an idiot in fact. I sent her a nasty message via FB, nothing threatening but she called the police and they said not to message her again. Which I have not at all. Then loads happened like I lost my beloved dog and he didn't come to pick Matt up so I was so angry. Then I talked to my mum who has a pal whose son works in the shop the OW works in. He said to his Mum that she is a slag and has had more men than a dose of salts, likes younger men and is RUFF! So being angry I sent stbx a mail telling him I was disgusted that he had not seen Matt over Christmas and then I threw in the I know what her co worker said and good it just affirms all I know. So today SHE sent me a text telling me I am disgusting for all my lies and despicable behaviour etc. Threatening to tell my headteacher and the police and that I should not say Andrew ran off to be with her? She mentioned slander but that is spoken words and I have not libelled her...I don't think? Well the mail was sent to stbx Andrew so not her. And the stuff I quoted was 3rd hand, why would I make that up? I don't know her co-worker who is a convict I may add and doing CS in her shop, one of the biggest fraudsters in this city! I have not harrassed her. They still deny being a couple tho I was told today they were caught on camera kissing before he left. I will never contact them again I promise but could I get into bother for this mistake? Cheers folks! Debbie x hi deb... i am so sorry this happened to you :~( sure wish u would have contacted me first...u know i am here. i know u r grieving so much with the loss of doggie...14 yrs is huge sweetie...and there are just some of US/Me/U, that do not get over the loss of a pet that easily.... and on top of that you X is being a sh*t and ignored the holidays with Matthew etc...and NOW some OW in the picture causing trouble for you.. oh i know that scenerio OH SO well...my xh OW tried to do the same thing to me...called the police on me ..the problem was, i was textin my xh because he had NOT deposited my alimony yet on the day the courts had set...also the xh had not set them to 'auto pay' into my account, which again, was going against what the divorce court had set.. so i sent ONE simple text asking where the $ is? no swearing, no threats, etc....yet, my xh OW made him go the local authorites and file a complaint that i was harassing him.. the thing is IT ALL backfired in their faces...as the police woman called me to tell me they had come in to file a complaint...and when i told the police officer what had happened and why i texted and WHAT my xh and his OW did to me...well, SHE/ the cop, was livid...she said basically, GO GET HIS A** back in court...LOL... she also said that she told my xh that he had NOTHING to file on me..as i had made no threats etc....but she wanted to call me and let me knwo what they had done... all in all, 9 times out of 10, someone out there, in law enforcment has been burned by an X before...So they get it too..we r in fact, only human and well... sweetie...do not worry about this mishap...u said what u needed to say to that skank and now it's time for u to move on and heal... maybe when it is time, u can go to the rescue and get a new doggie to love...now i am NOT saying any new animal will take your doggies' place after 14 yrs of companionship.. BUT, there is an doggie out there that really needs a home and a wonderful loving new mommy like u to take care of him/her... so please just take care of yourself today..ok..get some rest, make your cup of tea and cigs and watch your fav show... and when u find yourself getting angry and needing to vent at your X and his OW/skank, get a journal, and write it ALL out..get it all out of u and on to the paper...believe me, it sounds small .buT IT is oh so HUGE to get all that anger and poison out of u... take care deb... LS and me and tojaz, are all here for u.. again, so not worry about anything coming of the message u sent to your X...there is nothing they can do...but dont' do it anymore...wink! XO
Author tobydog Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 Thanks so much Dela and Tojaz and all the others who have had to listen to my whining the last 15 weeks....... I appreciate you all. I also have another retriever who is 6 and like a lost soul, won't eat etc I have Matthew and Chalky to love and look after. I brought Toby's ashes home today and of course now he is next to me.... Too upset to go out tonight tho......Will stay in, watch some stuff and wallow in a pity party! Roll on 12 and good riddance to 2010, the worst year of my entire life. OK Onwards and upwards tomorrow! Yes I am not so worried now, thinking rationally (?) it is not harrassment nor libel. Anyway the stbx picked him up today and bought him 3 brilliant toys for Christmas......then Matt says C bought these..... Thing is I am not jealous but just cross. Anyway NO more contact! That's a deal! Hope you are all Ok, don't forget tomorrow is another year. In a year from now we will all be in much better places. Hugs to you all and Dela esp! xxx Happy New Year to us all xxx We should get together Dela: dinner, chill and SATC!! Or Dexter! I am in Leeds Yorkshire UK Where are you?
just_some_guy Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Still stirring the drama pot, huh Debbie? Good little alcoholic/addict behavior. You can use the kid more effectively as a club if you attach a long handle to him. Gives you a better arc to swing through as you use the child to beat up your ex with. Doesn't matter a whit if you *&^-up the kid in the process. Long as you get those chops in. Yes indeed, keep it up. You're doing great. Grow up, get help. No sympathy here.
Author tobydog Posted January 1, 2011 Author Posted January 1, 2011 Thanks for that rather cruel comment......Happy New Year to you x
Author tobydog Posted January 1, 2011 Author Posted January 1, 2011 I'm not really sure how you can call me an alkie when I have not had a drink for ages? Not one in 13 weeks!
worlybear Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Hi Tobydog. Just read your thread here and feel for you. Keep posting and I will reply- I am also in the uk. The best thing you can do is to get yourself a new dog!:bunny:
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