I've made a huge mistake

[Nobodyn0se]

Alright I'll try and make a long story short.

 

My half sister is pregnant and I'm the father.

 

Basically, my father had a baby with one of his ex wifes shortly after I was born, and that relationship ended, my half sister moved to florida with her mother and I only saw her probably 3-4 times growing up until about a year ago.

 

So she moves back to the area for college, and not knowing anyone around here I of course kinda took her under my wing for a little while and invited her to hang out with my friends, etc, so she could meet some new people and that whole bit.

 

Long story short, for whatever reason it never felt like she was basically my half sister, and the feeling was pretty much mutual. Don't know how to say this without feeling weird but shes highly attractive, and we ended up having drunk sex over a 3-4 night period before realizing what we were doing is sick.

 

So she comes by my place over the weekend unexpected (I now live 3 hours from home), and explains to me she's pregnant with my baby and there is no other way it could be anyone else. We're both catholic but in this case I want an abortion asap, she's still on the fence about it. We have to get an abortion right?

 

FML this time, don't ever let your little head take over your thought process it doesn't end well

[Surrealist]

Dude! Noone here can tell you that getting an abortion is the right thing to do! Sorry the only advice I have is think hard, maybe the two of you can get counselling? Might be an idea that if she decides to have the baby to make sure you have tests to determine if the baby is yours?

[Nobodyn0se]

Dude! Noone here can tell you that getting an abortion is the right thing to do! Sorry the only advice I have is think hard, maybe the two of you can get counselling? Might be an idea that if she decides to have the baby to make sure you have tests to determine if the baby is yours?

Oh I'm sure it is mine.. almost 100%.

[Stung]

Personally I think an abortion would probably be the wisest choice, but it's not for me to say. Your half-sister will have to make her own decisions on this one.

 

What you were thinking, putting your condom-less penis into your sister, I cannot fathom. Unless you have a serious drinking problem, I'm pretty sure you can't write all 4 days of your sexual misadventures with her off as a drunken mistake, either. Not that that would have been a valid excuse, anyway.

 

If she goes forward with the pregnancy, advise her to ask her doctor about seeing a genetics counselor (you will have to go to this, too) and to have the fetus tested for abnormalities. Just because incest makes abnormalities more likely does not mean they are inevitable, however.

 

If she goes forward with the pregnancy, you will have to explain this to your family. Be prepared for a lot of ugly fallout from THAT conversation. Don't let your half-sister face it alone, it took two to tango. You two might want to consider consulting a lawyer before making this common knowledge however, there are areas where incest between consenting adults is not only considered immoral but is also illegal.

 

Whatever happens, you need to take a very serious look at yourself. Why were you so irresponsible, and how can you learn to apply more logic and forethought to decisions that can have major ramifications? Why are your boundaries so weak, and how can you strengthen them?

Edited December 30, 2010 by Stung

[alexlakeman]

1. Tell your parents; sh(t happens.

2. Don't murder the poor child, give him/her a chance; you can put it up for abortion later..

3. You made a mistake, deal with it, man up....you had the balls to take advantage of her (you are older) and have sex with a sister?! LOL, "It's Jerry Springer Time"!!!

 

Good luck .. su.cks to be you

[Nobodyn0se]

1. Tell your parents; sh(t happens.

2. Don't murder the poor child, give him/her a chance; you can put it up for abortion later..

3. You made a mistake, deal with it, man up....you had the balls to take advantage of her (you are older) and have sex with a sister?! LOL, "It's Jerry Springer Time"!!!

 

Good luck .. su.cks to be you

Abortion =/= murder

 

I fail to see the equivalence, sorry.

[alexlakeman]

Abortion =/= murder

 

I fail to see the equivalence, sorry.

 

Keep telling yourself that, if it makes feel "more of a man" ...

 

Just look at the news, if you murder a pregnant woman, you are charged with TWO murder charges; the unborn child is also killed, and those charged would be guilty of manslaughter... Think of that as your drive her to the abortion clinic and she is the one having to lie down have that done to her insides... Or mention it to her, and see what her thoughts are on the last few sentences I wrote on here...

[Nobodyn0se]

Keep telling yourself that, if it makes feel "more of a man" ...

 

Just look at the news, if you murder a pregnant woman, you are charged with TWO murder charges; the unborn child is also killed, and those charged would be guilty of manslaughter... Think of that as your drive her to the abortion clinic and she is the one having to lie down have that done to her insides... Or mention it to her, and see what her thoughts are on the last few sentences I wrote on here...

A fetus is not a person yet, and neither is a lump of cells... this is SCIENTIFIC fact. There is a reason why abortion is legal, and murder is illegal. If it's aborted before a certain date my half sister is essentially getting rid of a parasite.

Edited December 30, 2010 by Nobodyn0se

[ConflictedGuy27]

A fetus is not a person yet, and neither is a lump of cells... this is SCIENTIFIC fact. There is a reason why abortion is legal, and murder is illegal. If it's aborted before a certain date my half sister is essentially getting rid of a parasite.

 

this is such a moronic argument, IMO.

 

let's take you, for example. after your very conception, life was set in motion and you began to develop into the infant you once were (forward to the person you are today).

 

should your mother have aborted you, even if it were legal? if yes; you'd be dead. you realize this, correct?

 

by your logic your mother wouldn't have been killing/murdering you, since you weren't YOU, yet. however, you'd cease to exist -- i.e. you'd be dead. seems a bit silly; it's not even splitting hairs.

[ConflictedGuy27]

and WHAT THE H, man?!?!

you were f*cking your sister... knowingly, & several times, for nearly a consecutive week?!?!

 

damn dude. that's just wrong. I don't care how hot she is. you got it up for your sister... dude... I almost don't believe it.

 

listen; have the baby and put him/her up for adoption.

sweet Jesus...

[homebrew]

this is such a moronic argument, IMO.

 

let's take you, for example. after your very conception, life was set in motion and you began to develop into the infant you once were (forward to the person you are today).

 

should your mother have aborted you, even if it were legal? if yes; you'd be dead. you realize this, correct?

 

by your logic your mother wouldn't have been killing/murdering you, since you weren't YOU, yet. however, you'd cease to exist -- i.e. you'd be dead. seems a bit silly; it's not even splitting hairs.

 

Conflicted... I am surprised to say this... But I do agree with you on this. Well said!

 

For someone that is Conflicted... You have a lot of opinions!

 

Tip of the cap to you!

Edited December 30, 2010 by homebrew

[Nobodyn0se]

this is such a moronic argument, IMO.

 

let's take you, for example. after your very conception, life was set in motion and you began to develop into the infant you once were (forward to the person you are today).

 

should your mother have aborted you, even if it were legal? if yes; you'd be dead. you realize this, correct?

 

by your logic your mother wouldn't have been killing/murdering you, since you weren't YOU, yet. however, you'd cease to exist -- i.e. you'd be dead. seems a bit silly; it's not even splitting hairs.

It's her body and as such she has a say what lives in her body, I would have never known the difference.

[Andy_K]

Might be an idea that if she decides to have the baby to make sure you have tests to determine if the baby is yours?

 

No need! He can just check to see if it has an odd number of toes or fingers

 

 

Here in the UK you'd be looking at up to a 14 year prison sentence for incest with a half-sister, but it varies elsewhere. If you're from Texas you'll probably get a pat on the back instead.

 

 

If I were you I'd be advocating an abortion. The stigma for both you two as parents and the little one growing up would be an almighty cross to bear.

[homebrew]

Dude... You have no MORAL COMPASS! That is why you are in this situation to begin with...

 

You are sick and twisted for sleeping with your sister. To make matters worse... you tell us you did it because she was hot... What the HE11 IS WRONG WITH YOU?

 

I find it insulting that you of all people... are now going to lecture all of us on what is moral and ethical when it comes to the issue of abortion.

 

Based on your actions... You either have no idea what right or wrong is... or you simply do not care.

 

If you want to get on your soapbox and preach to us about morals and ethics... I think it would be best if you leave the fact that you just knocked up your sister out of it.

 

I am just saying...

[NoLongerSad]

and WHAT THE H, man?!?!

you were f*cking your sister... knowingly, & several times, for nearly a consecutive week?!?!

 

damn dude. that's just wrong. I don't care how hot she is. you got it up for your sister... dude... I almost don't believe it.

 

listen; have the baby and put him/her up for adoption.

sweet Jesus...

 

Yes, even "Jax" from "Sons of Anarchy" had enough sense not to have sex with his half-sister.

[homebrew]

Well if she decides not to abort, then you might as well keep on banging her until she delivers. If she's as hot as you say she is (and as she must be, given that she's your sister, for you to have done what you did), then even pregnant it should be pretty satisfying.

 

Tell me you are joking...

[oaks]

My half sister is pregnant and I'm the father.

 

We're both catholic but in this case I want an abortion asap, she's still on the fence about it. We have to get an abortion right?

 

 

Whoops!

 

Abortion is a very personal thing, and you've already had some fairly polarised views on here. Ultimately it's her choice, but do discuss it with her and if you have a view make sure she knows what it is. If she has a view that's different do try to discuss and understand it. Consider getting professional advice / counselling (perhaps together) as well as the amateur advice you're getting here.

 

If you're very Catholic or your faith gives you comfort then you could also discuss the situation with a priest, but obviously don't expect a pat on the back. It won't be the most uncomfortable conversation you'll have.

 

If abortion is an option, make sure you know the timetable as the clock is ticking and you don't really want to leave it to the last minute for all sorts of reasons. Make sure you know what the other options are, too, and discuss these with your sister.

 

Good luck!

 

Oh, and stop having unprotected sex with people you don't want to be making babies with.

[Madgick1]

You want her to have an abortion to get you out of some very embarassing trouble. Not a good reason for an abortion. Your selfishness is just monumental.

 

The odds are the baby will probably be fine; odds are you won't suffer any serious legal consequences if she was over 18 (please say she was over the age of 18). But you will be terribly embarassed and the stigma will follow you for most of your life.

 

How far along in her pregnancy is she.

[Mme. Chaucer]

1. Tell your parents; sh(t happens.

2. Don't murder the poor child, give him/her a chance; you can put it up for abortion later..

 

(

 

I think that abortion is a red hot subject which the OP and his half sister already know their stance on. Why not spare the guy the accusations of murder?

 

OP, if she does not abort, does she intend to keep and raise the baby?

 

P.S. I don't really think that post-partum abortion is an option.

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP, I need clarification. On December 21 you evidently were a virgin:

 

I grew up in a Christian family who treated sex as if it was a terrible thing outside of marriage. I grew up with that belief and ahered to it, now I want no part of Christianity. Because of this I'm a virgin and now I'm dating, for the first time a Non-Christian girl.

 

What's the real story?

[welikeincrowds]

Oh my god, an abortion debate. This is a ****ing dating site!

 

This is a highly controversial issue and you are going to have to resolve it within yourself. And yet, ultimately it isn't your decision.

 

My opinions on abortion aside, my advice to you would be to mind your mental health. Particularly, do not listen to the argument that you or your sister will necessarily experience trauma over an abortion. That is not true. There is a pressure to feel trauma in our society coming from "moralistic" arguments, and those may sway you toward guilt, which is a concept I'm sure you're familiar with as a Catholic. That is distinct from feeling loss.

 

Meanwhile, keeping the child would mean a lot of difficult and psychically taxing complications. Would you have to forever lie about the child's maternity/paternity, concerning that what you did was illegal, as well as taboo? How would your child feel about being the product of incest? And if you gave your child up, how will you feel knowing that your child is out there being raised, and you have no part in it, because you were young and ashamed?

 

It may sound like I'm making an argument for abortion at this point but I'm not. I'm reminding you that, like all ethical problems, this one is complicated. That your psyche will not be able to handle an abortion is a rhetorical point, and a compelling one (as you can see by how many people in here will tell you this), but still, a regurgitation, one that is impossible to support with fact; and meanwhile, the alternatives will not save you from trauma. The real problem is that you have a problem. Hopefully your sister will make a good decision.

[Yer_Blues]

Young babies don't even form episodic memories. SCIENTIFICALLY, what is the difference between killing a baby three days after it's born, compared with 3 days before it is born? ****, it'll never know the difference! It's still not a developed person any more than a fetus is a developed person. Not all development happens in the womb, and the womb is not some magical SAFE ZONE for changing your mind.

 

I am an atheist, do not thump bibles at people, or any of that. The distinction of what constitutes a person though, I find to be a convenient birth control option that people will rationalize at any cost due to the massive implications of having a baby, especially when the only potential support structure is a terribly irresponsible family playing around with alcohol and incest.

 

Kill it if you want, but don't downplay it with BS. You are ending life because of your irresponsibility and fear.

[welikeincrowds]

The distinction of what constitutes a person though, I find to be a convenient birth control option that people will rationalize at any cost due to the massive implications of having a baby

 

It's more often a rationalization for legislating control over (or past) women's bodies. Only when you can distinguish between it and her can you make arguments about it. Without that distinction, there is no difference: she is a "pregnant woman" -- one body -- until birth. Almost all arguments against abortion start with a distinction about what constitutes a person.

[love4me2c]

Ok so I'm not going to chastise you for having sex with your half sister you never knew. It wasn't like she was your sister this whole time growing up. That WOULD be sick. So now you got her preggers. As others have stated, this will ultimately be her decision as it is her body.

 

So a few things. You probably need to see a genetics counselor. That would be a good idea to get a full handle on what this means genetically should the pregnancy continue. That may sway her opinion of the matter. Perhaps some counseling with a psychologist for the two of you to discuss what occurred and how to deal with the situation. Maybe you all can come to an agreement this way.

 

Unfortunately, this isn't just about you and her. This is going to impact the whole family should she continue with the pregnancy. Counseling might help you understand how to approach it with the rest of the family or perhaps not tell them at all.

 

I wish you the best of luck with this. I can't imagine what this situation is like. Just get some help for the two of you to be sure on the best course of action without regrets. Take care.

[Yer_Blues]

It's more often a rationalization for legislating control over (or past) women's bodies. Only when you can distinguish between it and her can you make arguments about it. Without that distinction, there is no difference: she is a "pregnant woman" -- one body -- until birth. Almost all arguments against abortion start with a distinction about what constitutes a person.

If bodies were what was important to determining what is alive, maybe. The brain forms before birth. The brain is what makes somebody alive. Just because that brain is in another person's body does not negate it. Late term abortion is undeniably murder and should be prosecuted. If something has a brain and has pain responses, killing it is no different than killing an infant.

 

I'm a libertarian, and I think that early term abortion has to be legal as much as I personally would not choose it under most circumstances. If I did, it would be something regarding the well being of the developing person, not my own selfish interests. Still, it's too simplistic an organism to deny women the choice of what to do with their own bodies.

 

Late term abortion on the other hand, is no longer a choice. By letting a simplistic, developing person without a developed brain or nervous system develop FURTHER into something closer to being a truly living being, you have already decided not to have an abortion. Just because it is still inside of you does not make it yours or allow you to KILL it.

 

Is a human being six months into development really able to be killed so easily, when brain dead people in comas having their breathing tubes removed creates such an uproar?

Edited December 30, 2010 by Yer_Blues