Mik12 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Well I couldnt help it, I went out for dinner with her. About 3 weeks ago I posted a thread asking you guys what I should do about this nagging feeling of nostalgia towards my ex. We haven't been together for a year and a half now and I just had to call her up. At first she was hesitant because she didn't know what my intentions were. I truthfully told her that even I didnt know what my intentions were and that I really wasnt looking past the dinner. She then told me she didn't want to cause me any hurt, and I said ok i understand... but then instead of leaving it at that she sort of asked me if we could still go.... so I basically gave her a huge gray zone where I couldn't blame her for leading me on but at the same time she could see me and have a good time. So we went out for diner and it was nice, I was kinda nervous which is weird considering we went out for 2 years... I tried to avoid relationship talk but at the end she didnt want me to pay and sort of made our goodbye short and sweet. So basically im kinda regretting it cause I have no idea where we stand but I don't want to blow it by asking her... I still dont even know if I wanna be with her or not but supposing I am how should I handle the situation from here on? thanks
Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Good for you MIK. Proof positive that in some cases trying for a second chance is not crazy at all.
Author Mik12 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Good for you MIK. Proof positive that in some cases trying for a second chance is not crazy at all. You may have misread there man, also she litteraly strung me along all summer, this isnt really a positive thread as I don't think we'll be getting back together any time soon...I just kinda was wondering if anyone knew how I should handle this
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Congratulations! You have a new friend... who happens to be a girl! 1. Before going she told you that she didn't want to hurt you. A.K.A. - I don't like you like that. 2. She didn't allow your dinner to become a date by paying for her half. If she was interested... You wouldn't be on here posting asking questions on what it all means... You would know! So... If you are cool with only being friends with her... Then by all means, enjoy!
Author Mik12 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Congratulations! You have a new friend... who happens to be a girl! 1. Before going she told you that she didn't want to hurt you. A.K.A. - I don't like you like that. 2. She didn't allow your dinner to become a date by paying for her half. If she was interested... You wouldn't be on here posting asking questions on what it all means... You would know! So... If you are cool with only being friends with her... Then by all means, enjoy! we went out for 2 years...I established on numerous occasions that I would never be her friend... she knows this and wanted to see me anyway..I dont know if it's that simple lol
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Sorry Sport... I wish I had better news for you. It was only a friends thing for her.
Author Mik12 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Sorry Sport... I wish I had better news for you. It was only a friends thing for her. I dont know... It's kinda easy to say that with a little paragraph to base your judgement one... she was like this before we went out... anyway I still want to know how to handle things from there
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 I gave you my advice... So I have nothing more to give. If you do not believe me... Question: Are the two of you spending New Years Eve together? If not, did she bring it up? Invite you? Ask you what you were doing? Now... If she was interested... Don't you think she would have?
PowerOfOne Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 She then told me she didn't want to cause me any hurt, and I said ok i understand... thanks That's the crux of it. If she had any intention, no matter how small, that you two could reconcile she wouldn't have said something like that. I'm sorry mate, but I don't think she sees it on the cards. Now or in the future. Stay out of the friendzone!
DustySaltus Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 I dont know... It's kinda easy to say that with a little paragraph to base your judgement one... she was like this before we went out... anyway I still want to know how to handle things from there It's not just ONE paragraph, it's MANY paragraphs about the situation that are showing you that you need to move forward. In the past she called you when she needed something, you jumped at it. Now you decided to reach out to her again. She told you clearly that she doesn't want to hurt you. I mean, she hasn't spoken to you in a while. Maybe she realized the pain she caused you and how selfish she was and decided that it was better to leave you alone and let the wound heal. By calling her up because of the "Nostalgia" you are indirectly telling her that you are ok with all the crap that she pulled on you in the past. I would just cut off all contact if I were you and move forward with new women. I know it's easier said than done but if you let this woman back in your life she will walk all over you.
Breakupguy12 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 You may have misread there man, also she litteraly strung me along all summer, this isnt really a positive thread as I don't think we'll be getting back together any time soon...I just kinda was wondering if anyone knew how I should handle this I say tell her exactly how you feel. Sounds pretty harmless to me. Telling us isn't going to accomplish anything. Hell, she could be feeling the exact same way. You guys haven't been in any real contact for a while now, so the worse case scenario is that things could just continue as they have been. Best case scenario, you guys are on the same page and can at least know where one another stands.
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