Mrlonelyone Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Why does it want people who are bad for me? Since this summer I have had an eye on a woman that I met in a exercise class. Lets call her E. E's young, beautiful, educated, with no children, and unattached. A talented singer and artist. On paper she is everything I could ask for in a woman. I only just now asked her out...just to hang out on NYE. Nothing serious. For the last two months to now I have been dealing with a resurgence of feelings for a woman I knew years ago and with whom I have had a somewhat destructive on and off relationship. Lets call her S. It would be a net negative if I we had not had a child. (Who's life I am not part of for complex legal, and cultural reasons that I don't want to discuss any more just take my word for it. I have done all I can to be part of his life without being part of her's.) Between S and I there are cultural differences to surmount, racial issues, and just as I looked for her... by a matter of a few weeks... she had just found a relationship with another man. Yet I can't help but feel stronger feelings for S. Why? E is a wonderful woman who deserves all the love in the world. S is also wonderful, though I know just how flawed she is... and...like I said we have a kid... Is it just that with S I could have a family right off and finally do the right thing? Is it that with E I don't know what I'm getting into? Further to be honest I have not had that head over heels feeling since S. Has anyone else had the kind of complicated situation I have? How did you handel it? How can I ever really wipe the slate clean fromS and truly move on? How can I ever give someone like E the chance she deserves? I fear on some level I'll never feel as strongly for anyone as for S.
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