Owz600 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Today I broke up with my girlfriend, we have been together for 3 years and been good friends before the relationship and best friends during. I really wish we would get back together an everything be as it was before but only time will tell. Today I have been applying No Contact, I have deleted her mobile number, house number, untagged myself in pictures of me and her on Fb, changed my status to single and dropped off all her belonging.All I have left is to befriend her on Facebook. Is it also a good idea to befriend our 2 mutual friends? (There her friends more than mine but we was friends before our relationship) How can I go about befriending her without her getting offended and not realise what I am doing. While we was braking up she said she still wants to be friends and go to the cinema in the New Year as we are 'cinema buddies', the month before when we talked about our relationship she said we could be 'special friends' (Sex Buddies) when I mentioned taking a break. I think the reason she wants to keep me as a friend is that we ended on good terms and do get on great, I think she feels this way it will limit the hurt on me but tbh I can only see it doing worse. Maybe she feels keeping me as a friend is a good way to keep tabs on me, taking me off the market and stringing me along while she searches for a new guy. Maybe it's ALL! I would love to get back with this girl but when things are different not how they are now. I need to find myself again, I lost who I was during the last year of the relationship, I became a lot more depressed and wasn't so much fun as I didn't go out with my friends as much as they went to University and my career path was uncertain. I lost confidence and I self-defeat A LOT is my worst attribute atm and need to really focus on correcting that. My career path is more on course now but still not certain. I really need to find out what I want from life as a career I am just scared about making the wrong choice career wise and being unhappy. But ye back to original question: How can I go about befriending her without her getting offended and not realise what I am doing? Will this ruin my chances of ever getting back with her or is being her 'friend' who catches up now and then the better choice to get her back? Thanks.
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 If you are considering being this person's friend and winning her back... Instead of that... Go ahead and punch yourself in the nuts as hard as you can... The thing with doing this though... It still will hurt a lot less than what you will experience on a daily basis being friends with an EX... Plus, you also still have an opportunity to date her again down the road. You came to the right place... Spend some time and go read the Break up, Second Chance and Coping Threads... You will find TONS and TONS of people that have been in your situation and how best to proceed. Just in case I wasn't clear earlier... NOBODY THAT HAS WALK ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH HAS EVER GOTTEN AN EX BACK BY BEING THEIR FRIEND, EVER! Good luck!
Author Owz600 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 If you are considering being this person's friend and winning her back... Instead of that... Go ahead and punch yourself in the nuts as hard as you can... The thing with doing this though... It will hurt a lot less than being friends with an EX... Plus, you also still have an opportunity to date her again down the road. You came to the right place... Spend some time and go read the Break up, Second Chance and Coping Threads... You will find TONS and TONS of people that have been in your situation and how best to proceed. Just in case I wasn't clear earlier... NOBODY THAT HAS WALK ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH HAS EVER GOTTEN AN EX BACK BY BEING THEIR FRIEND, EVER! Good luck! Thank you for you great advice heard your a guru and it seems true, It's straight to the point, just what I need through a time of confusion. Should I send her an email saying 'look im not going to contact you don't be offended but it's just my way of dealing with it' or should I not even mention it and just delete her as a friend on Facebook? Dam networking sites you can never get privacy.
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Spend 10 minutes looking through the first few pages and you will know everything I know... Since you are the Dumper... 1. Your EX will ask you to reconsider... 2. You will question your decision... DO NOT TORTURE YOUR EX with going back and forth on her... 3. Your EX is more than likely going to want some closure... That could be your No Contact letter too... 4. Do her a FAVOR and remove her from Facebook... Make sure she can't stalk you... through her friends even. It will DESTROY her! WHATEVER YOU DO - TRY AND NOT TORTURE THE EX!!
Karma20 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Just delete her and mutual friends. No need to tell her anything you are not longer together and don't owe her an explanation. If she asks then you can tell her
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