SophiaL Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 (edited) I was my ex boyfriend for 7 years, and 3 of those we lived together, just before moving in together we spent 1 year in a long distance type of relationship (cause he had to go back home) When he got back things were not the same, he was lovely but I had become more mature and let's just say different, but i still liked him. The relationship wasn't going really well then. No fightings or cheating, just the attraction from my part wasn't there anymore. He was great but he would not leave the house for anything in the world, and I needed someone to take the lead and make me happy. As a mutual decision we split up, I moved out and I was absolutely fine for a couple of months, but then i started missing him and also found out he started seeing other people. From then on I've been chasing him, can't stop calling and texting. Most of the time he ignores me, but we do see each other and end up having sex. Which I know is bad, but is like my way of being close to him once more. He said he doesn't want a serious relationship and that he's enjoying himself now, but there is this girl he's seeing on a regular basis and that is driving me crazy. It got to a point that Im questioning myself if I miss him or the situation. I just wish I didn't have this urge to be with him anymore. By the way I've been like that for 3months!! I would appreciate any comments. Edited December 30, 2010 by SophiaL
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 My analysis is that if he wants to call you, he can. If he wants to sleep with you, he can. If he wants to say "okay, now no more contact", he can. If he wants to change his mind and talk to you anyway, he can. Empowering for him. Bad for you. You don't want to be with him... You just haven't found what you are looking for yet. He took away your safety net (by him moving on) so you are scared... That is all! Stick to your guns... I would avoid him so you can focus on what you really want. He is only slowing you down.
Author SophiaL Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Thank you so much for your analysis. It made sense to me. I guess I have the very bad habit of staying in touch with him and it needs to be sorted (for my own sake!). Sometimes you just need a third party to analyse the situation from a different perspective that your closest friends would. Will take day by day and try my best to avoid contacting him, at the end of the day; he saw my calls and texts and if he wish to reply, he will do so. It's just really hard to stay strong!
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