Where should your head be "at" during NC or when times are tough..

December 29, 2010

I've made a lot of posts on here and they have all helped a lot. One of my million dollar questions though hit me again this morning. Its been a rough week and a half because i was updated by one of my friends indirectly that my ex is off to see the family of her new guy that she got with literally weeks after me (if not days).

This morning i had to wake up real early for work, this is hard for me to admit but i remember shaving and thinking wow right now she is laid up with that guy on a vacation. I mean it really hit me and ruined my whole day. I have know that for months she has been with him so technically this is nothing new, but it all really hit me today. When you really think about it, its a crazy feeling to think that at the current moment someone you have been so hurt over is having fun and living a new life with someone else and it has nothing to do with you, even though they still may have feelings deep down, you are not on their mind.

I have thought about this for months, but my question is, where should your head be "at" when you in the NC, the ex is with someone else, very much "moved on" from what she had with you. I find myself juggling a few things when the thought of her pop in my head:

- Should i feel lucky and relieved that it didnt go farther, in other words feel grateful?

- Should i forgive and just own the fact that when times get rough people will move on if they can?

- Should i be somewhat cocky/confident and tell my self i dont want or need someone like that?

- Should i knock her off the pedestal and look at it like well its just two people dating, and we are done so...?

There is a ton of good info on here, but we talk about going NC and sticking with it, letting time fix it all, concentrate on us but i sometimes wonder what is the best method of coping DURING NC, in the trenches. Sometimes i get this urge to forgive like you know im sick of feeling like this so forgive and forget and move on, acceptance. Then i think wow that was messed up and it makes me angry. The funniest thing about me is i have never once wanted her back since NC, i think about all of the problems and i know i dont want that in my life and could never trust her, but my mind is so stuck on the fact that she could move to another "love" so quick, like i said before i feel like its an ego thing almost.

So in that time of NC, from the start until you are healed and officially over it.....what do you think or do when they pop in your head? When you know they are with someone else and loving it?

Where should our heads be at?

December 29, 2010

I am struggling with that right now. It's been 11 weeks since I was dumped and I have not heard from her. That means she will move on to dating others instead of getting back with me. It may have happened already. Females move on quickly, dumpers move on quickly, so female dumpers move on especially quick.

We have to shift the focus to our hearts and healing ourselves. Nobody is going to want to be with us, and our exes won't want anything to do with us, until we heal and move on.

December 29, 2010

Females move on quickly, dumpers move on quickly, so female dumpers move on especially quick.

Hahahahaha! True hurts!

And women want to complain because men are lazy...

If you are a female dumpee... It does have it's benefits!

Going to get someone new or keeping someone in the "bullpen" warming up... Is a lot of work you know. Most guys will not put forth the effort.

On the other hand... women, don't see that as a job... more of a duty!

Hahahhahahahahaha!

December 29, 2010

There is not real answer as to where you head should be at. A broken heart takes time to heal. My ex had a new gf 2 weeks after we broke up. They've been together a month now and to be honest, I care but my gut tells me it's a rebound. Even if it's not in time I won't care and neither will you.

December 30, 2010

I am struggling with that right now. It's been 11 weeks since I was dumped and I have not heard from her. That means she will move on to dating others instead of getting back with me. It may have happened already. Females move on quickly, dumpers move on quickly, so female dumpers move on especially quick.

We have to shift the focus to our hearts and healing ourselves. Nobody is going to want to be with us, and our exes won't want anything to do with us, until we heal and move on.

I can honestly say with my ex that i think she is chasing something, she doesnt want to spend five minutes with the pain so she just moves on.

I think to myself wow right now she is with that guy and everything is "great" for her, while iam sitting here thinking about it. The physical nature of she is off with someone as i type this has just been eating me up. Thats what i meant by where your head should be at, in other words, how do you combat these thoughts.

I feel like this is all very simple when it comes to break ups, but its not simple to FEEL it and thats the emotions. There has been times in my life where i left a girl i was serious with because of another chick, i forgot about the chick i was just with while she sat in the backround and wondered how i could do something like that. In my head it was ok because it was "obvious", thats where the problem lies.

I know breakups hurt but i float between anger, acceptance, etc. I also feel that im very blessed, i mean lets be honest, its better to find this out before a house and a couple of kids or something. But as you can see in my post this is the problem, i have no one thing to stick on, im back and forth. I dont like the fact that she goes on a trip with her guy (which in all reality thats what people do when they are dating) and it effects MY life. Its ridiculous and while i may be hard on myself, i dont think its realistic to think like this.

You dont hear a lot of people talking about how they think during the NC, more or less just a thing they want to get through..

December 30, 2010

Movingthrough, how long have you been broken up and how did you find out she is seeing someone else? I have been NC since two weeks after my b/u. It's been long enough now that I realize she will move on and date others instead of coming back to me. Whether she's already found somebody else or will shortly, I dont know and don't want to know. Knowing it will happen sooner or later hurts enough.

In any case, our focus has to be ourselves. Easier said than done, believe me I know. I guess we just have to tell ourselves that we should not want somebody who doesn't want us, it is their loss to give up on us, we will eventually replace them, and as a dumpee, we just have to deal with hurt and loss, not second-guessing a decision. My ex I think has some issues, so I will let the rebound handle it. By the time she figures out what she gave up on, I will most likely have met someone else.

December 30, 2010

When you really think about it, its a crazy feeling to think that at the current moment someone you have been so hurt over is having fun and living a new life with someone else and it has nothing to do with you, even though they still may have feelings deep down, you are not on their mind.

I think my ex is seeing someone just over a month on from our break up. And I totally relate how utterly insane and unjust it seems that they're having fun and moving forward when they've left us like this. Life can get like this?! Not having experienced this kind of thing before, it amazes me how it's impossible to make sense of or even accept the hurt we're feeling. It's like the ultimate betrayal from the one you invested all your feelings in. It's a massive dent to your ego and self esteem, whatever their reasons.

My ex wrote on Facebook (before I made sure to stop snooping as part of NC) about some temp at work liking her just 3 weeks on from dumping me - that's made it even harder for me to take... how can she drop me into this hell, then start moving on right away, getting excited about some guy she can't possibly know, who I doubt would ever treat her with such loving intentions as I did? And how could she be so damn insensitive to write about it on FB?! Don't know if anything happened with this guy, but I saw her in town a few weeks later with someone... my heart broke a second time. It seems she's dating again.

I'm very much in the trenches, trying to maintain NC, just trying to stay sane and trying to reach the point where I see some light on the horizon. So I'm no position to suggest where our heads should be at. All I want is to let her go and block out any thoughts of what she's doing. It's the hardest thing I've been through in my life. Sticking to NC, taking on advice, and trying not to go over the "what ifs" or "whys"... although I can't keep my mind from doing just that. I try telling myself over and over again "it doesn't matter" when I start analysing everything - there's nothing to be gained by going over the same old ground. You'll never truly understand what was going on in your ex's head.

I'm also bouncing all the time between anger, acceptance, forgiveness... my emotions are all over the place almost 6 weeks on.

It's just unfortunate that you've heard about what she's up to. It's difficult for me too maintaining true NC as I see her around at work, and even without speaking to her there's always the chance of seeing something and jumping to conclusions, or hearing things from mutual friends about her, or what they've seen on her Facebook which I'm avoiding. I wish I could accept it's none of my business what she's up to. But of course while she left me truly shell-shocked by leaving me, my feelings are going to take months/years(?) to wind down from still being 100% besotted by her.

I guess it's natural to have all these conflicting thoughts, everyone in the same situation must be tormented by them. I know I am. Working through gradually accepting them, coming to accept/live with the insanity and injustice of it all at our own pace is the only solution. I wish you all the best.

December 30, 2010

Movingthrough, how long have you been broken up and how did you find out she is seeing someone else? I have been NC since two weeks after my b/u. It's been long enough now that I realize she will move on and date others instead of coming back to me. Whether she's already found somebody else or will shortly, I dont know and don't want to know. Knowing it will happen sooner or later hurts enough.

In any case, our focus has to be ourselves. Easier said than done, believe me I know. I guess we just have to tell ourselves that we should not want somebody who doesn't want us, it is their loss to give up on us, we will eventually replace them, and as a dumpee, we just have to deal with hurt and loss, not second-guessing a decision. My ex I think has some issues, so I will let the rebound handle it. By the time she figures out what she gave up on, I will most likely have met someone else.

My situation is weird because my whole relationship was a secret to everyone basically and to even call it a breakup could be subject to question, but it was very real to me and the love words and future planning etc was all there.

The breakup happend about 5-6 months ago, but it happened when i was out of country for work and was going to be gone for months so it was extra hard for me. Basically i had a hard few months, was pretty much over it, and the minute i got home i started getting messages saying that she missed me so much blah blah, but to be honest it was not immature, i truthfully believe she has been torn through all of this. She was dating someone so i eventually called it off and said i cant keep talking like this if you are seeing someone and its not going anywhere. She basically said i was pushing, etc etc and i went NC.

So in a nut shell, since i have been home and those feelings she had came out, it has gotten me to where im at now. Im in the same circle of friends as her and because it was kind of a secret when we dated (and still is) i hear bits and pieces of info on her that i would rather not here.

The way i see it is, i want to be at the point where even when i hear about that stuff it doesnt matter. The number one problem i believe with being the dumpee is you have this person on a pedestal, they are almost god like so every time you hear what they are doing its like whatttttttt! When in reality most of do it or have done it.

Good Arms,

I know what you are feeling. Its crazy how the feelings can be so out of control. With me i have these moments of "clarity" where im like wow i have this person so high in my mind that everything they do on facebook or in life is so "bad" to me. I had the same stuff happen to me. Weeks after my ex broke it off she has status's up about how happy she was, it tore me up. Then just recently they love photos are up with the new guy.

The fact is, i have done it more then once, the grass is greener you think, you move on and you use social networking to post it to the world. I feel like i know all the answers, and how i should be thinking but i cant feel it and thats why im on here.

I keep telling myself this - if anyone of us on here woke up and met the person of our dreams, or someone that REALLY made us feel above and beyond what we have felt or feel at the moment....we would take it, and you better believe we would forget about our ex's. Thats what our ex's did to us, the grass was greener and they left.

I had problems with my ex and near the end we fought about it. So lets see hmmmm, fight with this guy im with, or move on to someone else who is "awesome" and im not fighting with.....done deal for most people.

Its funny how "simple" all of this can be if you dissect it....but like a psychologist friend of mine told me once, its the emotions that we have to control.

December 30, 2010

I've made a lot of posts on here and they have all helped a lot. One of my million dollar questions though hit me again this morning. Its been a rough week and a half because i was updated by one of my friends indirectly that my ex is off to see the family of her new guy that she got with literally weeks after me (if not days).

This morning i had to wake up real early for work, this is hard for me to admit but i remember shaving and thinking wow right now she is laid up with that guy on a vacation. I mean it really hit me and ruined my whole day. I have know that for months she has been with him so technically this is nothing new, but it all really hit me today. When you really think about it, its a crazy feeling to think that at the current moment someone you have been so hurt over is having fun and living a new life with someone else and it has nothing to do with you, even though they still may have feelings deep down, you are not on their mind.

I have thought about this for months, but my question is, where should your head be "at" when you in the NC, the ex is with someone else, very much "moved on" from what she had with you. I find myself juggling a few things when the thought of her pop in my head:

- Should i feel lucky and relieved that it didnt go farther, in other words feel grateful?

- Should i forgive and just own the fact that when times get rough people will move on if they can?

- Should i be somewhat cocky/confident and tell my self i dont want or need someone like that?

- Should i knock her off the pedestal and look at it like well its just two people dating, and we are done so...?

There is a ton of good info on here, but we talk about going NC and sticking with it, letting time fix it all, concentrate on us but i sometimes wonder what is the best method of coping DURING NC, in the trenches. Sometimes i get this urge to forgive like you know im sick of feeling like this so forgive and forget and move on, acceptance. Then i think wow that was messed up and it makes me angry. The funniest thing about me is i have never once wanted her back since NC, i think about all of the problems and i know i dont want that in my life and could never trust her, but my mind is so stuck on the fact that she could move to another "love" so quick, like i said before i feel like its an ego thing almost.

So in that time of NC, from the start until you are healed and officially over it.....what do you think or do when they pop in your head? When you know they are with someone else and loving it?

Where should our heads be at?

Your head should be here, posting what you just did. Venting to people that will allow you to vent and understand where you're coming from.

The best revenge you can have on an Ex is lead a happy and full life. There's a big world outside your friont door. Open it, go out! I'm a big advocate for just picking up and going on trips for a weekend away from common surroundings. Do things you never did before! See things you never saw before. Fill your time. And believe me, you meet people along the way, and maybe someone that will turn your eye!

December 30, 2010

Your head should be here, posting what you just did. Venting to people that will allow you to vent and understand where you're coming from.

The best revenge you can have on an Ex is lead a happy and full life. There's a big world outside your friont door. Open it, go out! I'm a big advocate for just picking up and going on trips for a weekend away from common surroundings. Do things you never did before! See things you never saw before. Fill your time. And believe me, you meet people along the way, and maybe someone that will turn your eye!

Great post, its always good to hear great words..

I relate so much of what i do with her that it has made it hard to get out and do much. I feel weird saying that because it sounds like i have no self confidence when in reality that has been why any girl has liked me, im very in my zone and thats attractive. But to me she was so much of a best friend and companion that everytime i do things it was somewhat related to her, almost like a reminder. But day by day that seems to be going away, this has really hurt, almost to the point of wanting to laugh its so crazy but life does go on and to let someone ruin every other aspect of your life is a joke to me...

December 30, 2010

Okay, and I can relate to that. You did things together at it felt like you two were joined at the hip. I get that! There are OTHER things out there, thing you didn't consider. Okay, example of my life.

A while back, I knew it was gonna be a long weekend, I was off Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I knew Saturday was my Ex's birthday. So, I had an idea, I called a buddy of mine and asked him what he was doing this weekend. He had nothing planned and I told him to get over to my place and have and overnight bag with two changes of clothes. I made phone calls. He got to my place and I had a cab there to take us to the train station. $23 bucks and 3.5 hours later, we were in St. Louis. Checked into the Sheridan, changed clothes and went out to the bars and clubs. The next day we went all over St. Louis. Leaned against the Arch, toured the brewery (Drank at the end of the tour!) That afternoon scored tickets to the Cardinals game! AND I HATE BASEBALL! HAD A BLAST! Went to the bars around the Standium after the game, met a group of girls that were really cool (nothing really happened, although my buddy got one of their numbers and kept in contact with her for a while)

Next day took the train back. You know what, Ex barely popped into my head. And when she did, I had enough distractions, she was easy to dismiss.

December 30, 2010

Your head should be here, posting what you just did. Venting to people that will allow you to vent and understand where you're coming from.

The best revenge you can have on an Ex is lead a happy and full life. There's a big world outside your friont door. Open it, go out! I'm a big advocate for just picking up and going on trips for a weekend away from common surroundings. Do things you never did before! See things you never saw before. Fill your time. And believe me, you meet people along the way, and maybe someone that will turn your eye!

You are the only one who really answered the question! I do things and hang out and all but my ex is still on the mind way too much. You would never guess cause there is not outside evidence of it but inside I still miss my ex terribly and hate that he has someone else and that he is moving on. I really need some help with this mindset thingm

December 30, 2010

I believe it all depends on the person. I remember someone on this site saying that, for the time being, in your mind your ex is magnified and because of that there's no room for yourself or anything else. Try to revert the focus, start thinking that you're the one important for your heart and he is insignificant.

I makes sense when you think about it, he's doing the same thing, only he's dealing with this, he's moving one by using someone else.. I like to call this ignorance or weakness on his part.

You're the stronger person here because in the end you'll be completely healed and he's gonna be in the same place because he skipped this step.

Edited December 30, 2010 by ByMyselfForNow

December 30, 2010

You are the only one who really answered the question! I do things and hang out and all but my ex is still on the mind way too much. You would never guess cause there is not outside evidence of it but inside I still miss my ex terribly and hate that he has someone else and that he is moving on. I really need some help with this mindset thingm

Someone once wrote that loosing a loving and committed relationship is no different than mourning a death in the family. The deeper the relationship was, the longer it's gonna take to get over it. Time heals all wounds...just, some wounds take longer.

December 30, 2010

So in that time of NC, from the start until you are healed and officially over it.....what do you think or do when they pop in your head? When you know they are with someone else and loving it?

Where should our heads be at?

I've been there, bro. I think you're trying to control nature a bit too much. Feel those feelings, that's how life is. There's moments that we laugh, cry, etc, it's LIFE. This period isn't going to last forever. I was a self-help junkie, read all the books, learned how you're supposed to think and all that garbage, but when the lady who I was head over heels in love with dumped me, man, I cried like a baby. I'd drive by her house, wondering what she's doing, dial her number then hang up before it rang, sent whiny and now embarassing emails to read asking her to come back...

But in the end, I was fine. I just had to tough it out. So don't worry about what you should be feeling or thinking. You're doing the most important thing right now, which is NC. Also continue to treat yourself. Go out to a bar, take yourself to the movies, etc. Just tough it out.

December 30, 2010

Movingthrough, I am feeling exactly the same. For me it's been a little over a month now NC. My ex of 4 years started dating 2 weeks after breaking up our engagement. I've been trying to find a way to get through this so I got some quotes from books. I posted it here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258665/

I don't know if it helps yet but every time I get one of those hits, I just read it again. At least makes me feel better for the while I'm reading. Hope you feel better soon!

December 30, 2010

Movingthrough, I am feeling exactly the same. For me it's been a little over a month now NC. My ex of 4 years started dating 2 weeks after breaking up our engagement. I've been trying to find a way to get through this so I got some quotes from books. I posted it here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258665/
I don't know if it helps yet but every time I get one of those hits, I just read it again. At least makes me feel better for the while I'm reading. Hope you feel better soon!

As I just mentioned in another thread, your ex dating someone soon after the breakup could have taken place for a multitude of reasons... It could've been to try to piss you off, or it could've been just his own way of healing from the relationship. How long ago was the breakup of your engagement? Sounds like you're getting better though, which is awesome. It's a gradual process, as you know.

December 30, 2010

It's been 45 days since the break up. Not too sure if I'm getting better yet but I'm trying. The holidays are the worst, I just want them to be over. New Year, New Start...

December 31, 2010

As I just mentioned in another thread, your ex dating someone soon after the breakup could have taken place for a multitude of reasons... It could've been to try to piss you off, or it could've been just his own way of healing from the relationship. How long ago was the breakup of your engagement? Sounds like you're getting better though, which is awesome. It's a gradual process, as you know.

Thanks everyone for the responses.

Its funny because i really have felt the feelings and kind of had that attitude of like "this is normal, its cool". Problem is (and it might be the last stages) is i have it on my mind what seems like all day, and i dont even know why, its like my brain is saying "so are we forgiving or looking for new tactics?". Thats why i made this post, and im already learning more. I can say little by little its getting better, today i kept moving my thoughts to other places, so when she popped in i thought about one of my other ex's that im over, yeah its stupid but it proves to me that it wont last.

I know why my ex moved on so quick, she has always done it and im not trying to make myself feel better but she moves on so she doesnt have to feel what we are feeling. She is very different from girls where she has her bad few days and says F it then moves on. I knew she was hurt after me but when that hurt was over she was gone and doing her own thing, i kind of respect her for that.

Like i said though, she has a bad past with relationships, cheated on her husband more then once (before me) was willing to do it with me, then near then end of us was willing to do it again while she was with him. So many red flags i cant even type it all. In all that i know i could never trust her again, but the infatuation is still there, i think about like watching TV shows and laughing with her and it hurts, because we were almost like best friends. One thing that keeps replaying in my head is how she told one of my friends about a trip she is planning next year with this guy. It just makes me think wow so she is really over me......funny thing is, we made plans too, so did her ex husband.....look how that turned out.

The fact is what im really noticing is you have to have a mindset to "combat" these thoughts (easier said then done) and you have to take them out of "mystical" status ( like the other poster said). We blow them out of proportion and its like no one else will ever be like that. Something as simple as work, we dont work at the same place but its the same field, so the places i go she has been too and technically i could see her there. Today i ran it through my head like what if i saw her walking or with her guy walking, its like an instant knife to the stomach but then im like wait......how many couples are here now, and that doesnt do anything to me.....yes i dont have feelings for them but its just proof that its all in our heads making them godlike.

Im not healed yet, no damn way, but im learning these things little by little. I keep finding myself thinking "fix your mindset" dont look at her as such a big deal and you will be fine. Its funny too because in the midst of all this, ex's and other girls i used to know are coming out of the woodwork, i woke up to texts and emails from people i havent spoke to in months or years. Its weird how all of this happens.

December 31, 2010

I believe it all depends on the person. I remember someone on this site saying that, for the time being, in your mind your ex is magnified and because of that there's no room for yourself or anything else. Try to revert the focus, start thinking that you're the one important for your heart and he is insignificant.

I makes sense when you think about it, he's doing the same thing, only he's dealing with this, he's moving one by using someone else.. I like to call this ignorance or weakness on his part.

You're the stronger person here because in the end you'll be completely healed and he's gonna be in the same place because he skipped this step.[/QUOTE]

I believe this. Im very attractive. I could have been with someone by now. I wanted ME back, not someone else. Im trying to open up but I guess Im still not quiet ready. Patience with 9Lives is what is going to take.

NC is great cause you dont have to suffer in front of the world. LS is even better cause you can get it out here...THANK GOD!

December 31, 2010

Movingthrough, how long have you been broken up and how did you find out she is seeing someone else? I have been NC since two weeks after my b/u. It's been long enough now that I realize she will move on and date others instead of coming back to me. Whether she's already found somebody else or will shortly, I dont know and don't want to know. Knowing it will happen sooner or later hurts enough.

In any case, our focus has to be ourselves. Easier said than done, believe me I know. I guess we just have to tell ourselves that we should not want somebody who doesn't want us, it is their loss to give up on us, we will eventually replace them, and as a dumpee, we just have to deal with hurt and loss, not second-guessing a decision. My ex I think has some issues, so I will let the rebound handle it. By the time she figures out what she gave up on, I will most likely have met someone else.

GP I agree with. I found out 1 of the worst way ever...she emailed me out of the blue, just to inform me she is dating again. This was 4 months after I moved out.

And agreeing with GP she will see what is missing out on

January 1, 2011

GP I agree with. I found out 1 of the worst way ever...she emailed me out of the blue, just to inform me she is dating again. This was 4 months after I moved out.

And agreeing with GP she will see what is missing out on

The fact is, nowadays with email, FB and computers in general, its almost impossible to not know whats going on. I deleted everything, i mean everything about my ex, numbers emails, old emails, everything. I go on my email the other day (which i usually do by phone) and there is a chat history or something with her picture at my house, because the only time i ever used that was with her, it was still there in a history box thing. Stuff like that kills me its like ehhhh damn it.

New years went better then i thought, i didnt really think about her that much, but i knew she was with her new guy, and i know if i was to go on FB (trust me i wont) its probably full of love pictures and partying and all this great stuff. I never find myself saying i want her back, im just so hurt that she could be happy through all of this. I have been very up and down lately which is weird but maybe a good thing. She will pop in my head and i will just be like ehh whatever, which i used to never do, so maybe this is the final stages.

How did everyones new year go, hear from any ex's?

January 1, 2011

You don't know what is going through the mind of your ex and if she is truly happy or not. The way I see it, if my ex is already involved with somebody else so soon after the end of a serious r/l, then that is a rebound and a coping mechanism for the hurt she is probably feeling. We had made plans to get married, so she had goals for our r/l too. In her case, I think dumping me is something she contemplated for weeks, not months.

The bottom line if we are in NC is that they left us, don't want to be with us anymore, and nobody except our ex knows what is going on inside their head. We have to shift the focus to ourselves so that heart-wise we are open to loving and being loved again. Until we heal, nobody, including our exes, will want to be with us. Easier said than done of course. I've missed her so much over the holidays.

January 1, 2011

You don't know what is going through the mind of your ex and if she is truly happy or not. The way I see it, if my ex is already involved with somebody else so soon after the end of a serious r/l, then that is a rebound and a coping mechanism for the hurt she is probably feeling. We had made plans to get married, so she had goals for our r/l too. In her case, I think dumping me is something she contemplated for weeks, not months.

The bottom line if we are in NC is that they left us, don't want to be with us anymore, and nobody except our ex knows what is going on inside their head. We have to shift the focus to ourselves so that heart-wise we are open to loving and being loved again. Until we heal, nobody, including our exes, will want to be with us. Easier said than done of course. I've missed her so much over the holidays.

It is a crazy feeling especially with the holidays. I was just out at the bar having a few drinks with some friends and out of nowhere she popped in my head and i started thinking about her laugh and smile. Im like are you serious? Its like a love movie. Two seconds later with no warning, its pooped in my head "wow i still love her". All this while she is planning trips with her new guy. Im being very hard on myself because i think its stupid, i really do. We should be able to move on when someone else has, part of me wants to meet someone just so i can be "proven" that there are other girls out there that could give me the same feeling..

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Where should your head be "at" during NC or when times are tough..

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