Teag Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 So back in April my "first love" was in a bad car accident that almost cost him his life. He had 7 broken rib and a broken sturnim and broke his ankle where he now has a plate and screws in there. When my mom told me about this (his mom is her best friend) it freaked me out so I called his mom and got his hopital information. At this point I hadn't seen or talked to him in over 9 yrs. He was in the hosp for a week and I was there during my lunch hours every day with him. When he got out of the hospital he went to stay with his mom for awhile so she could help take care of him and he started calling me. We decided to hange out one day to kinda "clear" the air and get some closure (we didn't have a very nice breakup) We hung out got everything out in the clear and started hanging out more. So now feelings are starting to resurface and I'm happy that we can get along so well and we have become friends with benefits which is great. I'm happy with the way things are, I don't want anything serious, I just got out of an 8 1/2 year marriage. Which brings me to him...I'm not really sure of his feelings of the subject, I spent a few hours with him Sunday and we did our thing and when I left he walked me out to my car hugged and kissed me then proceeds to take my hand and kiss it. I know that sounds like such a small thing but it almost made me melt and almost knocked down all the walls I've build up. He's normally not the "romantic" type so that just really suprised me. I'm not really ready for another relationship right now, but in the future...it makes me wonder if things could work out with us or is it just the memories of what we once had.....
homebrew Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) Pretty cool story if you ask me! For the sake of all the other Dumpees... Can you please go into detail how and why things ended badly? After we come to terms with being dumped... Dumpees have issues with our post break up crazy behavior. If you share yours / his... it could be of some use to a lot Dumpees on here. This post break up behavior and the effect it has on the Dumper... Freaks / Haunts the Dumpees out once they get "normal" again! Now that we know after 9 years in your situation... It wasn't an issue. Edited December 29, 2010 by homebrew
Author Teag Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) Pretty cool story if you ask me! For the sake of all the other Dumpees... Can you please go into detail how and why things ended badly? . We were together for almost 2 years and I got pregnant, we decided with the help of my mom pushing me into the decision I had an abortion..I was only 17 and have regretted the decision. This one decision pretty much ruined our relationship, after that he cheated on me, so I didn't stop a guy from kissing me (this guy I eventually married) this was months after the abortion, we'd break up and get back together and so forth, finally i had enough and broke things off and got with the guy who kissed me, my ex went to jail...when he got out of jail he started calling me again . (I'll call ex first love "S" and current/ the guy a married "P") P and I had broke up but has started "talking" again and I also started see S, (I wasn't in a relationship with either and was only sleeping with S) well S started getting alittle possessive and wanting to to break all contact with P, saying things like we have broken up before but we always get back together, we are meant for each other...so S called my mom and informed her that I was seeing him again (my mom had threatened to kick me out if I got back with S) so after that I broke off all contact with S. (we were only 18 young and dumb at the time) P and I got serious ended up getting married and having 2 kids together, which turned out to be a miserable marriage and I'm finally free of it. (we're separated not yet divorced but theres no chance of reconciliation) When we got together for the first time after S's wreck (after he got out of the hosp) and we talked abt the past trying to clear the air, he finally let me know that the abortion really tore him up and that he didn't know how to talk to me about it and to this day wishes we had made a different decision. so that kinda makes me understand some of the things he did back then bc I know it tore me up too...but then again I needed him and he wasn't there for me bc he was dealing with his own issues. anyhow...thats how it went down and I'm glad we were able to get past our past and are able to start up things again and altho I'm not ready to be in a serious relationship i am enjoying the new/resurfacing feelings that are coming up. Edited December 29, 2010 by Teag
homebrew Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Thank you for sharing with US! The other Dumpees behaviour / action / stories are not nearly as "crazy" as what you and your EX went through... You two are backing talking again so maybe it will give some Dumpees hope that even though after the break up... Even if that acted "crazy" given enough time and space... The Dumper forgives / forgets all about it.
Author Teag Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Your welcome, and I"m still not sure what will happen with us but things are going good now, and he's the only other guy I've ever been in a serious relationship with other than my soon to be ex-H. and we did go through alot but have both also learned alot, I learned a few years ago my mom ran into S at his moms house (remember me saying our moms are bff's) and S was drinking and got to talking to my mom and I learned S blamed himself for everything that went wrong in our relationship, that he has never stopped loving me and he had thought he had found something special in the last gf he had who had his baby but she never compared to me. I on the other hand had moved on and hardly ever thought about him at all, he hurt me so bad that i wanted to forget him and I pretty much built a wall over that part of my life and kept it there. However when we finally "reconnected" and that first time he kissed me which was completely unexpected sparks just flew, I just hope its "real" and we're not just getting caught up in the past. I'm hope after all the experiance and heartbreak we've been through we've both learned something and I just hope I don't end up getting hurt again.
Breakupguy12 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 My only advice would be to make sure that you're not subconsciously using this guy as a rebound guy from your soon to be ex husband. That would be awful. As the other commenter said, sounds like a great story, hope it works out for you guys.
NeNinja Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I and f in the end we end up together...it's beautiful.
Author Teag Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 My only advice would be to make sure that you're not subconsciously using this guy as a rebound guy from your soon to be ex husband. That would be awful. yea thats what I'm afraid of bc in a way my soon to be ex WAS a rebound from this guy and it didn't work out and have been stuck in a miserable married for almost 9 years. I've told him my concerns and we're at the time playing it by ear, its just hard to keep a wall up when he just does the simplist sweetest things. I spent the day with him yesterday and left glowing and on cloud 9. 9 years of no contact and now this, I never in a million years would have thought I'd be thinking about getting back with this guy :-) I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I and f in the end we end up together...it's beautiful I love that, thats awsome, thanks for sharing :-)
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