loverofloveandstuff Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) This happened ages ago but I still don't understand it. Why would a guy talk to his girlfriend about another woman, constantly? He would bring this girl up in nearly EVERY conversation. And I heard from him after we broke up that this girl did not approve of me and had "a bad feeling about me" (she met me once and seemed really nice so I don't know what her problem was). The fact that he kept talking about her constantly after she told him to break up with me is just disrespectful to me imo. He is free to be friends with whoever he wants but I don't want to know her life story. Half of the time, it seemed like he was just trying to find a reason to bring her up in conversation even if it was unrelated. I was once talking to him about this really nice girl I work with and how she goes out of her way for everybody else and is one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met. Ofcourse my boyfriend had to bring up this girl and proclaimed that she was the nicest girl he had ever met. He even told me about a conversation they had where they were talking about how it is weird that they weren't dating as they both click well and find eachother really attractive. He then went on to say "and then she said that she sees me like a little brother and I was like damn..." Many of the things he said suggested that he liked her and I couldn't help but think that he was only with me because he couldn't get her (she also had a boyfriend at the time). I broke up with him eventually because I was sick of hearing about this chick. I'm over this guy now, but WHY would a guy talk about another woman, constantly to his girlfriend? Honestly, it seems like he was just trying to sabotage our relationship (but I don't think he was...he cried when I broke up with him). Maybe he was trying to make me jealous? (But I don't understand why you would want to make someone who you were already in a relationship with). On a side note, I never acted jealous or asked him to stop talking about the chick. Maybe I should have, but I didn't want him to feel trapped or tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with. I also want to ask: has anybody ever tried to make their partner jealous in a relationship? And if so, why? And has anybody ever had somebody try to make them jealous in a relationship? Edited December 29, 2010 by loverofloveandstuff
LifeIsGreat Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 As a guy, I have the exact answer for you..... Maybe he wasn't totally over his ex. Or yes, he was trying to make you jealous. In the future, if you're with a guy who does something like this, COMMUNICATE. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he's a good guy, give him a chance.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 As a guy, I have the exact answer for you..... Maybe he wasn't totally over his ex. Or yes, he was trying to make you jealous. In the future, if you're with a guy who does something like this, COMMUNICATE. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he's a good guy, give him a chance. The girl wasn't his ex but you're probably right in that he was trying to make me jealous. Why, I have no idea. I probably should've communicated and I sort of did in my own way. I suggested that we make our relationship an open one so he can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants (if you want to hook up with this chick so bad, just DO IT) and vice versa. He was pretty offended at what I had suggested and said that I was just being insecure (still don't understand this). I don't think I'll ever understand this guy.
carhill Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I'm over this guy now, but WHY would a guy talk about another woman, constantly to his girlfriend? Absent purely anecdotal examples relevant to relationship discussions, IMO it's merely immaturity. For example, I might talk about lessons I learned from my marriage, referring to my exW in anecdotal terms, since I was married to her. It would be in a very matter-of-fact tone. She and I don't talk, at all. There's no need. We're divorced. That doesn't mean she didn't have an important role in my life for ten years, so her name *might* come up as a reflection on that part of my life. This perspective appears to be quite different than that of your exBF. It's perhaps instructive that I don't have 'feelings' for my exW; perhaps, and likely, your exBF has residual attachment to and feelings for his prior ex. This is a good thing to deduce early on, and to avoid. Great lesson. Best wishes
paleblue Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) If someone is talking about another girl or guy, there is something more going on (IMO). Whether they are just infatuated with them, or otherwise. It’s a Big Red Flag to me. Whatever the reason. The way I look at it, if you don’t care about them, than why would you care enough to talk about them? He even told me about a conversation they had where they were talking about how it is weird that they weren't dating as they both click well and find eachother really attractive. He then went on to say "and then she said that she sees me like a little brother and I was like damn..." The above paragraph says it all. He wanted to be with her. Many of the things he said suggested that he liked her and I couldn't help but think that he was only with me because he couldn't get her (she also had a boyfriend at the time). I broke up with him eventually because I was sick of hearing about this chick. Need I say more? He def wanted to be with her but couldnt be. Good call for dumping him. No one wants to be second best to someone else. I'm over this guy now, Probably a good thing. On a side note, I never acted jealous or asked him to stop talking about the chick. Maybe I should have, but I didn't want him to feel trapped or tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with. Nah, you are right. I also want to ask: has anybody ever tried to make their partner jealous in a relationship? And if so, why? And has anybody ever had somebody try to make them jealous in a relationship? Yes I have, and I feel ashamed of myself for stooping that low. Edited December 29, 2010 by paleblue
Recommended Posts