Hurt...

[seibert253]

Well, my wife just came home to grab a few things (she's moving into a new apt tomorrow) and I laid down the law. As expected, she isn't willing to accept the restrictions (no contact w/ OM, IC/MC, etc). Oddly, I'm actually OK with this - at least now I know and I can move on.

 

Now it's time to go have fun with friends and enjoy the New Year. I would like to remain friends with her, but I don't know if or when that would be possible. I told her to expect D papers soon. It was very satisfying!

 

Thanks again to everyone for their input. Much appreciated!!

 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but you're not out of the woods yet.

 

Monday, make an appointment to meet with an attorney. If nothing else, you need to find out your rights, and get educated on the D process. IMO you need a formal seperation agreement and have D papers drawn.

 

Now, don't be surprised if in the not too distant future, you get the "I made a mistake" speech from your WW. Alot of times they figure out the OM isn't Mr. wonderful, and they think, well I can always go back to Analog. Wrong. If you allow her to come back to the M it's on your terms, not hers. Do not even consider allowing her to return to the M unless she's totally remorseful and 100% committed to fixing what she broke. Unless you see the uncontrolable crying to hyperventalating, curling up in a ball in the corner, mascara running all down the face remorse, it's all crap IMO. Don't fall for it.

 

You gave her a chance, she scoffed at it. Her loss.

Now it's 180 time, full bore. Go stone cold NC, don't answer the phone, DON'T BE THERE FOR HER. She's on her own.

 

Just think what your life will be like from now on:

You can do and go where you want, when you want, and with whom you want. No hall pass needed.

You can lay around the house all day in your underware, watching college basketball, drinking beer, and no bitching or complaining

You can let the dishes pile up in the sink and wash them later.

You can put the laundry away when YOU want to, not when she tell's you.

You can bring a hot 20year old college chick home, if you want.

 

Now that I think about it, I'm rather jealous.

 

Peace and best of luck to you

[analogman]

W came by on Friday to take the rest of her stuff. I nicely told her to make sure she got everything because I didn't want her coming back. I was pleasant and accommodating. IMO, there isn't anything to be gained by being a jerk. She was nice and seemed genuinely sad that this is happening. Overall I felt good with the way we left things.

 

Since then, I've been NC. It hasn't been too bad, but she does creep into my thoughts fairly often. I'm sure it gets easier with time.

 

Thanks again for the support.