D. It Is Written Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 My boyfriend of one year and I broke up 36 hours ago. He broke it off, but it was my decision that we should have no contact. We have broken up many times before because he is Muslim and is not supposed to be in a relationship. Before, our breaks have really just meant that we stopped being physically intimate, but we would still talk everyday and spend time with each other. And we would always go back to being together after a short period. This time was different. He told me that he has never been in love and he doesn't think he ever will be. He told me that he will never marry or have children because of this. He told me he was very sad that he was not normal and cannot feel the same way as other people or have the same things that they have. He told me he can't keep falling back into a relationship with me because of his spiritual beliefs and secondly, because it is physically frustrating to be near me (he's abstinent). He told me that he's a loser, and I will look back and wonder what I ever saw in him. He expressed interest in keeping contact and staying friends, but I told him that there was no real way for us to be friends because of the attraction between us and that we should try to really move on this time if it is hurting him. I asked if he was sure, and he was silent. I saw him cry for the first time. He hugged me tightly for a long time, sobbing into my shoulder, and then we parted. I never told him I loved him and he never said he loved me, but I love him more than anyone in the whole world. I'm having a lot of trouble with this. On paper, it seems like it was the right thing to do, but it doesn't feel right. Nothing about this feels right. What do I do? Aside from my not wanting to be apart from him, I'm very worried about him. I want to run back and tell him I can't be without him, and that I'll take care of him and love him for better or worse. I know everyone will probably advice against it, but the hopeless romantic in me says this is what I should do.
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 There is usually a lot of confusion when the breakup is fresh. I think that deep down you know that you can't be together but your heart is still tied to him and thus you feel the compulsion to run to him. Carry on with the NC. It will be hard going for a while, but I promise that things will get better.
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