bubbleskeeps023 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 im in a 4-year relationshp now with a 52 yr old married man. and as usual this holiday season means long vacation. he’s a profesor thats why he’s on a long vacation. and im so down because he didnt communicate with me this past 2 weeks. actually whenever he had vacation he just stayed home and i cant call him until he call me first. it is so sad realizing i couldnt greet him for xmas and new year..
bentnotbroken Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 im in a 4-year relationshp now with a 52 yr old married man. and as usual this holiday season means long vacation. he’s a profesor thats why he’s on a long vacation. and im so down because he didnt communicate with me this past 2 weeks. actually whenever he had vacation he just stayed home and i cant call him until he call me first. it is so sad realizing i couldnt greet him for xmas and new year.. If you have been with him for 4 years...shouldn't you be used to it by now? Should you have realized you couldn't contact him before now?
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Do you have your own friends and family to spend time with over the holidays? To put all your eggs in one basket and let your holiday be ruined because he was with his wife and family isn't good for you.. If you choose to stay in the affair with him, part of the affair dynamic one needs to accept, especially after four years, that this is how things are. He cant spend time with you on your terms, only his. sorry, I know you're hurting, and probably not the advice you were looking for, but maybe now is the time to ask yourself if this is what you want out of life..More years without him on important dates and holidays, only on his terms and time frame. Does the good outweigh the bad? Do you want your own husband, and family one day? If so, it won't be with him. Take time to think this through and either accept this is how life is for you or end it so you can heal and find someone who can love you all the time and be open about it.
East7 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 If you accept that an affair is settling for crumbs, then it is what it is, empty holidays and what's left from the family time.
newpriorities Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 im in a 4-year relationshp now with a 52 yr old married man. and as usual this holiday season means long vacation. he’s a profesor thats why he’s on a long vacation. and im so down because he didnt communicate with me this past 2 weeks. actually whenever he had vacation he just stayed home and i cant call him until he call me first. it is so sad realizing i couldnt greet him for xmas and new year.. Yup, been there done that. I hate to sound harsh because I do have the utmost understanding of how you're feeling....but, this is the definition of an A. You give away your power and this is just the way it is. IMO, you either have to s-it or get off the pot. Either accept it for what it is or leave it. I know this is much easier said than done, it took me a long time to realize that I just couldn't live with these crumbs. Your soul can't be sustained on crumbs, you need healthy nourishment and that only comes from honesty and respect. Again, not being judgmental, just passing on what I have learned the hard way.
Author bubbleskeeps023 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 yeah, im kinda used to it, but still it makes me feel pain and sad. thanks for ur advice. just need to let go of these feeling because theres no one i can talk to about these.
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 yeah, im kinda used to it, but still it makes me feel pain and sad. thanks for ur advice. just need to let go of these feeling because theres no one i can talk to about these. Are you happy overall in this affair? Also, fact that you can't talk to anybody about this, share this part of your life with, how long can you go on secretly having an affair. Do your friends and family ever ask questions about your love life? I hope you find strength to realize that you deserve better and more, end things with your MM. Four years is a long time to just "be".
Recommended Posts