OceanGirl Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I found an interesting trend. Out of all sexual messages I get on OKC most are from submissive men wanting me to be their dominatrix. I never get it the other way around, or even other sexual fetishes. Just wondering if there is an over-representation of these men on OKC or is it something about me that gives that "vibe"...
Els Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 True dominants rarely ever solicit submissives, in general.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 True dominants rarely ever solicit submissives, in general. Ah I see Thanks for the info - I don't know much about it.
Wink Tobasco Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I'm thinking this doesn't stand for Oklahoma city. So what is OKC please?
Author OceanGirl Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 I'm thinking this doesn't stand for Oklahoma city. So what is OKC please? OKC= OKCupid - one of the largest free dating sites
Wink Tobasco Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Hit myself in the head (hear hollow sound) , thanks for the 411.
tigressA Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I've noticed this too--most of the sexual messages I receive are from guys wanting me to dominate them. I went out on a date last month with a guy who, from his match questions, seemed rather submissive, particularly sexually. There were other cues when I had to tell him the plan for the date--time, location, everything. He even ordered the exact same thing I did, having hardly glanced at the menu. His passiveness really turned me off. I can't ever date a guy like that.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I haven't done online dating, but I did meet this guy in my city on Messenger once who was begging me to use him for whatever I wanted him for. This included just running errands for me, cleaning my house, giving me massages, or performing any sexual favors I would like. He explained that he believes that since women give life and men are just a detail in the process, he thinks women are the far superior sex, and they deserve to have their every need provided for by men. It was kinda tempting to take him up on the non-sexual stuff (I hate doing dishes ), but I figured he'd eventually expect something in return and it was just too weird, so I said thanks but no thanks.
Jannah Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 What the heck?! S&M type of messages, really!?
Joe Normal Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 True dominants rarely ever solicit submissives, in general. That's right - they just go out and take them
mistressdede Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Agreed... Subs usually offer their services for the consideration of dominas who will decide if he/she is adequately suited to serve him/her. True dominants rarely ever solicit submissives, in general.
Star Gazer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 What the heck?! S&M type of messages, really!? Really, I want to know too! OG and TA, can you give an example??
tigressA Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Really, I want to know too! OG and TA, can you give an example?? I haven't gotten any since I rejoined the site, and I'm on my third username on OKC. But in my last incarnation I got a message from a guy that was very up-front. He explained that he was into D/s play and that he was a submissive, looking for a "mistress", and he felt I would fit the bill. Needless to say, I didn't respond to him.
Star Gazer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Should I be insulted that I've never received such a message?
tigressA Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Should I be insulted that I've never received such a message? Yes. Yes, you should. :laugh:
SunsetRed Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I haven't tried OKC. I'm on Plenty of Fish, but all I've found were guys who's idea of a first date with a stranger is "Hey, can you come over." I am so disappointed with online dating that I'm ready to take a break from it. I'm in my 40's, and the picking really gets a lot slimmer once you're over 35.
Star Gazer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Yes. Yes, you should. :laugh: Do I not come across as an assertive woman?
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I found an interesting trend. Out of all sexual messages I get on OKC most are from submissive men wanting me to be their dominatrix. I never get it the other way around, or even other sexual fetishes. Just wondering if there is an over-representation of these men on OKC or is it something about me that gives that "vibe"... You probably just have the look. If you don't like it then remove all the pictures on your profile wearing leather and carrying whips.
tigressA Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Do I not come across as an assertive woman? Oh you definitely do. Perhaps it's the look, though. I honestly have no idea how the guys who messaged me about that came to the conclusion that I'm a dominant woman via my profile essay/questions. I make it clear at least in my match questions that I'm submissive/balanced. Maybe I just came across as the dominant dominatrix type in my pictures? I definitely wasn't donning any leather, chains or whips in them, however.
hART Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I dunno about that. I openly say I am a submissive female, but more on the passionate side. Men still contact me. To each their own. Honestly, being domineering makes my stomach knot up.
gromit Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 If you don't like it then remove all the pictures on your profile wearing leather and carrying whips.:laugh:
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Hurt me OP, for some men, the virtual world is like a fantasy. They play out aspects of their personality and desires which may never see the light of day IRL. Some forget that there's another real person on the other end of that string. It appears you have perhaps found a good man, so hopefully these men will no longer be a bother.
daphne Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 who was begging me to use him for whatever I wanted him for. This included just running errands for me, cleaning my house, giving me massages, he thinks women are the far superior sex, and they deserve to have their every need provided for by men. I can't believe you said no. Send him my way. I could use a personal assistant.
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