pureinheart Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Well, I think you guys are going to be stuck with me as I am deciding to get back together with an old love. Now, because he has moved back to his hometown (about 10 yrs ago) we are an LDR. A bit of background. We met at work 15 yrs ago...it was a dream come true (long story short)...he was drop dead gorgeous and extremely nice (but closed off and not very affectionate). He wined and dined me for months. We broke up because his job here had ended. We stayed in touch and he eventually moved to my area...by this time I was with someone else. When that relationship ceased we tried to connect and become an item several times. He moved to his hometown and once again we stayed in contact...then to my surprise about 4 yrs ago contacted me and eventually asked me to marry him...this was highly unusual because he was not an open person and I didn't think he'd ever marry again...he was a completely different person. I was not able to handle such a proposal and then an LDR seemed unrealistic. More stops and starts, although they are short lived. He contacted me at Christmas and I wrote him back telling him what has been going on with me...the deep issues...and LDR seems realistic now...seeing each other periodically and in a couple of years uniting. I took an early retirement and he will retire early also, he is taking care of his mom and I am into my kids and grandkids right now and don't see myself moving and he now knows the reasons why...he wanted me to move to his area, but I can't and that's another long story. I think this can work as I think we both are not quite ready to get married, although will be due to a radical connection and he is so very open now ...it's just weird to hear these things from him...the everlasting love, don't wanna, can't live without you type communication. How are you guys doing with your LDR's? I've never really done this before for such a long time...what do you guys think?
folieadeux Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I think it definitely says something that you were able to keep in touch and still have these feelings after all this time. How far apart are you? My SO and I both live in the States (me in NJ and him in GA) and one of the major things that sustains our relationship is the fact that we have future plans and are both willing and able to relocate when the time is right. From your post, it seems like you are unable to move from your area. Is he able to relocate to yours? It's one of the realities of the situation that one or both of you will have to move at some point. I think that issue needs to be addressed first in your case before anything else given your history together. If you already know you can't move and if he is unwilling to do so then you'll always be separated, which isn't really realistic and unfair to you both.
Author pureinheart Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 I think it definitely says something that you were able to keep in touch and still have these feelings after all this time. How far apart are you? My SO and I both live in the States (me in NJ and him in GA) and one of the major things that sustains our relationship is the fact that we have future plans and are both willing and able to relocate when the time is right. From your post, it seems like you are unable to move from your area. Is he able to relocate to yours? It's one of the realities of the situation that one or both of you will have to move at some point. I think that issue needs to be addressed first in your case before anything else given your history together. If you already know you can't move and if he is unwilling to do so then you'll always be separated, which isn't really realistic and unfair to you both. He's all over the place, although from his home where his mom is is about 2000mi away...visiting isn't an issue, although I don't think I'll move...when I was 19 I moved to Louisiana to be with my fiance and he was murdered, then I moved to VA because my husband was in the service and he was stationed there...we were 10-15 min away from the Pentagon and my husband had run (UA, Unauthorised Absence) 3 days before 9 11...so as you can see, it's not likely that I will move. Neither of us have said that we will not move as an absolute, although he did communicate that he did not see me moving, and that is mostlikely the truth...he let me know he was not going to stay in his hometown forever. Your right, there has to be "definites"...and the first being who and when, or at least a good approximation as to when. Thank you for your response, it helped me look at this a bit clearer:)
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