Feeling vunerable....

[Ayla]

I am seeing a guy - and I really like him, and he likes me too. However his ex of 10 years cheated on him 10 months ago and he is still getting over the hurt of that. He also has a 5 year old daughter.

 

He is a friend of and works with my brother - and has told my brother that he likes me, but is lost and confused - but will never disrespect me. We have seen each other almost every weekend or every second weekend. I go and visit my brother and he is there as well. Although we have not had sex, we have slept in the same bed numerous times. He has a pact that he will not have sex with his mates sister, and I have a pact that I will not sleep with just anyone. in addition he is not ready for his daughter to see him with anyone - although I spend a lot of time with her.

 

It is clear that he likes me, he watches me, tries to be close to me when he can, he has met my parents (this was his choice) - however when I ask him if he would like to come to my place - he either does not reply or is unavailable. Yet - he replies to every other message.

 

Last night - we took things further in bed and now we have done almost everything but have sex - so I think his pact is pretty much broken. I am feeling very vunerable today, and we spent the morning together at my brothers with his daughter (and he was normal - ie watching, talking, casual touching etc) - but I don't know how to get over this vunerable thing...or if I am just worrying about nothing. He is meant to be spending New Years with me.

 

Can someone please give me some advice or their thoughts?

 

Thanks

[Ayla]

I should mention that I could so easily fall for this guy. It is weird, usually if I like someone I can't look the guy in the eye as I believe the eyes are the window to the soul and you can't hide anything. With this guy, I can't look away....

[that girl]

How old are you and how old is he?

 

You can just give rough numbers (early/late 20s/30s/40s) but I'm curious because I'm getting a 19 year old vibe off your post. Which if the guy is old enough to have a 10 year relationship (27+) could effect the situation.

 

This guy does not sound ready for anything.

 

-You don't easily get over a 10 year relationship in 10 months, particularly if you were cheated on.

 

-He's trying to protect his daughter from a possible break up, yet he is letting her spend a lot of time with her. Whether or not you two are dating, spending time with her is going to make her more attached to you.

 

-He's dating you, but not dating you.

 

My guess is that if things keep moving forward, he is going to freak out and run away and you'll be hurt.

 

It seems like a really bad idea to get involved with this guy right now.