LeilaG Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I met this guy I really like, and I got the feeling he liked me too. I got his number and we started texting each other. At the beginning he used to text back instantly. I got really excited because I have a major crush on him ... I went over-board texting him - every time I texted him, the messages just became longer and sillier (I cringe when I look back at them now! :'( ... ) Every time it would take him longer to text back ... He doesn't text back quickly like he used to. It took him days to reply to my last message, so I started wondering why ... ? I was left confused and now after going on a few websites (yes I'm that sad ... lol) I'm pretty sure I've put him way off since I've come across as too desperate ... But guys, you don't understand how sad I feel making this absolutely stupid mistake (texting him back quickly with very long and silly texts) ... because I'm sure he's no longer interested with someone who seems like a desperate and over-excited puppy ... Is there any way to get him interested in me after ruining it via text? I dunno how to reply to his last text (the one that took him years to reply to) because it sounded like he's no longer interested and he's just texting back to be polite by not completely ignoring it ... I don't want to seem desperate so do I ignore it and see if he texts back again? Or ignore it and see if he says anything to me next time I see him (later this week) ... and if he asks why I didn't text back (if I don't) what can I say to him? Any witty suggestions since he's quite a funny guy? Any help? I'm so gutted I wish I can go back and edit my texts ... Just to let you know I'm 19. And sorry if I sound really desperate and anxious (I am, pretty much. ) but this means a lot to me since I've never had a proper relationship with a guy before ... (yups sad I know) But guys just never seem interested in me ... So that's why I don't want to ruin my chances with him ... tbh I've probably already ruined it.
Into the Blue Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 If you hear back take it easy. Don't go overboard sending these long texts. Just finish up what you were doing when you got the text, and then text him back. I know myself, I can't read long stuff like that. It drives me insane. Maybe you could think of someone you know that you have a pretty easy going relationship with and talk to him like that?
Butterflying Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 I know it sounds cliche, but that is the easiest thing to do in any situation. We can advise you how to think and act. Unfortunately, that kind of advice is impossible to follow, especially in a case like this one where you haven't done anything inappropriate. I know how you feel, thinking you've ruined your chances with a guy over something as silly as "too many" text messages. Unless the things you said in the text involved wedding plans, babies, or some kind of harrassment; you have nothing to be afraid of. Excitement is good! Prompt responses to messages are good! Don't quinch your feelings. Don't hold back on what feels right for you because THAT is what you're feeling right now. Allow yourself to feel that. Do whatever feels right. In the end, you want a person who appreciates this about you. You want someone who is flattered by your excitement and attention. A person who pulls away from you when they think you're getting too excited is not the kind of person you want to be with. It doesn't make sense to care about someone and then "pretend" not to care. That's soooooooo stupid. It's the one thing I hate most about dating. If we like someone, we should be able to tell them we like them without being afraid of them leaving us because of it. If you want to text this guy again, text him. If you want to play games, don't text him. Just wait to see what he does next then follow his lead.
e.clipse Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 A person who pulls away from you when they think you're getting too excited is not the kind of person you want to be with. It doesn't make sense to care about someone and then "pretend" not to care. That's soooooooo stupid. i completely agree with this. personally, i have a tendency to be very long-winded in my responses. the 160 character limit is scared of my texting. in the past, i have tried to tone it down, but then i feel like i am re-reading and editing my responses in order to make them brief and to the point, which is something i dislike because that is just too much over-thinking and formulaic for something that should not be. when i did this, my messages sounded dry and unlike me, so i decided to text normally (for me), and that if someone found this annoying...well, they need not text back. what you are feeling is understandable, though. i too get all giddy and excited with a new prospect. sometimes i wonder if i should withhold my natural response and be more brief or if i should ignore their texts until some time has passed, so as to not seem too eager to reply, but, seriously, how pathetic is that? you should keep on with how you are. if your messages are silly and long, don't change that for some guy who does not like it. it is true that it sounds cliche, but some guy will take that as a quirk and will be endeared by it. truly, there are too many guys to be bending yourself backwards for one who hasn't even shown he is worth it. if i were you and i really wanted to keep talking to him, i would reply with something.
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