Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 I really have to stop staying up so late on LS...
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I really have to stop staying up so late on LS...You really have to call up a few friends and go out to play!
deebeechrisyo Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Wow, this sounds exactly like me a few years ago right after college where I moved to take on a new job. I was completely content staying in and playing video games all night after work. Some events transpired and I actually gained a social life, but after a while I kind of regressed back into my comfort zone. This became a cycle, but the thing I noticed was those lapses back into my comfort zone lasted shorter and shorter each time. Think of a Cover 2 defense in the NFL, bend but don't break. You keep pushing yourself out into the world, but like a rubber band reaching its peak stretch, you are drawn back into your comfort zone. I went on for a while here, but due to my experiences with a similar situation Hokie, I think you will find that your regressions will last shorter as time passes. I wouldn't consider it a big deal, it is probably just a phase. You might be scared that all the progress you made is going to waste, but it's not so easy to lose something you worked so hard at.
january2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 due to my experiences with a similar situation Hokie, I think you will find that your regressions will last shorter as time passes. I wouldn't consider it a big deal, it is probably just a phase. You might be scared that all the progress you made is going to waste, but it's not so easy to lose something you worked so hard at. Seconded. For the first month or two after my breakups, I regressed, but my internal voice just wouldn't allow me to stay down for long. This year has also been my most sociable year for a long long time. And December has been quieter compared to the previous months. But it's okay. We had a lot of adverse weather and I wasn't motivated to go out. So, took the time to read LS, other forums and blogs, recharge my batteries and really think about what I was doing and where I was going. I see this downtime as a gift. A chance to stop and re-evaluate. In January, I will begin another period of frenzied activity.
OceanGirl Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Hokie, I am in the same boat only I haven't even moved I am spending my first NYE alone...it sucks but I can't force people to invite me when they don't seem to want to.
denise_xo Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Sounds like you just need to find your feet in a new (old?) place. Stuff like that takes time. I've moved lots in my life and IME it takes up to a year settling into new places and building steady routines, even when you move 'back' to a place where you've been before. I think your point of departure is really good. You have proved to yourself that you are comfortable with your own company AND you can also be a social being and enjoy that. A lot of people can't do both, so count yourself lucky and give yourself some slack and insert a bit of effort in building a happy existence in your new place. Good luck.
Jannah Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 So I decided to create a thread after all... Looking back on 2010, this past year has certainly been the most socially active I've been in my entire life, whether it be dating, friendships, or just going out on weekends. My experiences have created what I like to call a "social expectation," or a level of social activity that one grows accustomed to. A few years ago, while I was in law school, I had almost zero social expectation. I went to class, hardly talked to folks at school, and then came home. The rest of my day consisted entirely of the gym, practicing/playing golf, and watching TV/movies in my room. "Going out" on the weekends literally consisted of me going out to Taco Bell by myself, eating, and bringing a giant cup of Mountain Dew back to my room to watch several hours of TV shows on DVD. As strange as it sounds, I was really comfortable and content with the way things were. I guess it was because I hadn't created any social expectation for myself, so not having a social life didn't bother me. Over the past few weeks, after moving to a new location, I feel like I'm returning to that place I once was where I didn't have much social interaction...I do want to go out with friends, but I feel like they've all abandoned me...so the only thing I can think of is to simply return the favor and stick with what I can count on...me...so I kind of want to go back to the way things were before this year...unfortunately, I feel like I'm no longer conditioned to handle the isolation...I want to regress...I'm just not sure how... Hopefully you'll get a kick out of this: Wait. Does the link you provided mean you secretly are involved in a totalitarian regime?
Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 Wait. Does the link you provided mean you secretly are involved in a totalitarian regime? It's entirely possible...
Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 Sounds like you just need to find your feet in a new (old?) place. Stuff like that takes time. I've moved lots in my life and IME it takes up to a year settling into new places and building steady routines, even when you move 'back' to a place where you've been before. I think your point of departure is really good. You have proved to yourself that you are comfortable with your own company AND you can also be a social being and enjoy that. A lot of people can't do both, so count yourself lucky and give yourself some slack and insert a bit of effort in building a happy existence in your new place. Good luck. Well, I only moved about 20 miles down the road, so I'm still in the same general area...my social circles haven't changed much at all...it just takes a little more driving... I guess I do have too high of expectations for myself, yet I'm too apathetic to put in the effort to reach those expectations...so I'd rather just sit, do nothing, and complain about it, all under the guise that I'm "content" with the way things are...
paleblue Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 how... Put yourself into extreme isolation for awhile. When you are comfy with that, emerge and you will be happy again with limited social interaction. When you are comfy with that, kick it up another notch
Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 I am spending my first NYE alone...it sucks but I can't force people to invite me when they don't seem to want to. It won't be my first NYE alone, but that's my plan too this year.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 Put yourself into extreme isolation for awhile. When you are comfy with that, emerge and you will be happy again with limited social interaction. When you are comfy with that, kick it up another notch Hmmm, this makes sense. I think the past couple weeks have been that trial of extreme isolation...
Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Hmmm, this makes sense. I think the past couple weeks have been that trial of extreme isolation... But not by choice. I think that may be part of what's making you feel bad. This time, make it a choice.
Author USMCHokie Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 But not by choice. I think that may be part of what's making you feel bad. This time, make it a choice. You might be right. I thought I was doing pretty well up until the holidays started.
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