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Regression of Social Expectations

USMCHokie

By USMCHokie
in General Relationship Discussion

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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So I decided to create a thread after all... :o

 

Looking back on 2010, this past year has certainly been the most socially active I've been in my entire life, whether it be dating, friendships, or just going out on weekends. My experiences have created what I like to call a "social expectation," or a level of social activity that one grows accustomed to. A few years ago, while I was in law school, I had almost zero social expectation. I went to class, hardly talked to folks at school, and then came home. The rest of my day consisted entirely of the gym, practicing/playing golf, and watching TV/movies in my room. "Going out" on the weekends literally consisted of me going out to Taco Bell by myself, eating, and bringing a giant cup of Mountain Dew back to my room to watch several hours of TV shows on DVD. As strange as it sounds, I was really comfortable and content with the way things were. I guess it was because I hadn't created any social expectation for myself, so not having a social life didn't bother me.

 

Over the past few weeks, after moving to a new location, I feel like I'm returning to that place I once was where I didn't have much social interaction...I do want to go out with friends, but I feel like they've all abandoned me...so the only thing I can think of is to simply return the favor and stick with what I can count on...me...so I kind of want to go back to the way things were before this year...unfortunately, I feel like I'm no longer conditioned to handle the isolation...I want to regress...I'm just not sure how...

 

Hopefully you'll get a kick out of this:

 

:(

Edited by USMCHokie
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Hokie hun, you JUST moved to a new place, and it's been holiday break. Give yourself a break too. Things will busy back up... Promise. :)

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Hokie hun, you JUST moved to a new place, and it's been holiday break. Give yourself a break too. Things will busy back up... Promise. :)

 

You might be right about the holidays...I think it was a big mistake taking leave for the whole two weeks of Christmas and New Years...it has literally been a flashback to my law school days...kinda depressing...

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I think it was a big mistake taking leave for the whole two weeks of Christmas and New Years...it has literally been a flashback to my law school days...kinda depressing...

 

I can imagine! It's been hard enough for me, and I didn't have any time off other than Christmas Eve!

 

I suspect everyone's social calendar will go back to normal starting mid-January. Just be patient, and know it gets better. Gotta prepare for the next holiday anyway... Heart Day! :rolleyes:

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Gotta prepare for the next holiday anyway... Heart Day! :rolleyes:

 

No thanks... :rolleyes:

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Okay, well... you can choose to mope, or you can fake it until you make it. Your choice, Hokie.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Okay, well... you can choose to mope, or you can fake it until you make it. Your choice, Hokie.

 

I'll let future me figure that one out.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I'll let future me figure that one out.

 

Future you? Such a disappointing attitude.

 

Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Future you? Such a disappointing attitude.

 

Well I did turn out to be quite the disappointment, didn't I?

 

Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.

 

Where the hell did you get this one from...a fortune cookie?? :p:laugh:

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Okay, Hokie. You're doing it again. Have a good night.

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

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You should try to be less passive. Where's your fighting spirit?? :):bunny:

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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You should try to be less passive. Where's your fighting spirit?? :):bunny:

 

Great question.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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You should try to be less passive. Where's your fighting spirit?? :):bunny:

 

I honestly don't think I've had that "fighting spirit" in a long time...I think I just stopped caring in general and let whatever happen happen...I might have left it with my ex...? :confused:

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

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I honestly don't think I've had that "fighting spirit" in a long time...I think I just stopped caring in general and let whatever happen happen...I might have left it with my ex...? :confused:

 

What about all that energy you put into working out? Surely you could channel some of that into other aspects of your life?

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I think I just stopped caring in general and let whatever happen happen...I might have left it with my ex...? :confused:

 

Ha. Oh really? That's awesome!

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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What about all that energy you put into working out? Surely you could channel some of that into other aspects of your life?

 

I think people are conditioned to put the most energy/effort into the things that they succeed in...like with any skill, we love to practice our strengths and avoid our weaknesses...

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I think people are conditioned to put the most energy/effort into the things that they succeed in...

 

I disagree.

 

You weren't always Mr. Fit. Once upon a time, you were a skinny beanpole. You worked at it, and became Mr. Fit.

 

Apply the same determination to your happiness.

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

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I think people are conditioned to put the most energy/effort into the things that they succeed in...like with any skill, we love to practice our strengths and avoid our weaknesses...

 

But it sounds like you were succeeding socially, and that you had made huge strides forward, until you started getting apathetic.

 

Also, the way you write this is fatalistic, like you're removed from your own body and actions. Just because you may be "conditioned" a certain way, doesn't mean you have to go with the flow.

 

Probably the best things you can hope to accomplish in life won't just come naturally. You appreciate things you fight for more.

johan Established Member

johan

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Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.

 

Honestly though. Did you make that up? I scanned the country music lyrics database and didn't find it.

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

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Honestly though. Did you make that up? I scanned the country music lyrics database and didn't find it.

 

"tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, until all our yesterdays have lighted fools their way to dusty death."

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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But it sounds like you were succeeding socially, and that you had made huge strides forward, until you started getting apathetic mopey and depressed, thinking friends abandoned you when they're just gone for the holidays.

 

Also, the way you write this is fatalistic, like you're removed from your own body and actions. Just because you may be "conditioned" a certain way, doesn't mean you have to go with the flow.

 

Probably the best things you can hope to accomplish in life won't just come naturally. You appreciate things you fight for more.

 

Shadow/Sky's giving you fantastic advice (slightly modified), Hokie. I hope you're paying attention. :)

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Honestly though. Did you make that up? I scanned the country music lyrics database and didn't find it.

 

It's from The Music Man.

 

"tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, until all our yesterdays have lighted fools their way to dusty death."

 

And that, is Shakespeare.

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

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It's from The Music Man.

 

 

One of my favorite romantic songs = "Till There Was You", especially as sung by Kristin Chenoweth

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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But it sounds like you were succeeding socially, and that you had made huge strides forward, until you started getting apathetic.

 

Also, the way you write this is fatalistic, like you're removed from your own body and actions. Just because you may be "conditioned" a certain way, doesn't mean you have to go with the flow.

 

Probably the best things you can hope to accomplish in life won't just come naturally. You appreciate things you fight for more.

 

It's similar to the apathetic attitude I have that I mentioned in your competitiveness thread...if I just get used to being alone again and say screw the world, then I can be as content as I was before and not have to fight for it...

 

But you're right...now I'm just talking out my ass to make excuses...

 

Shadow/Sky's giving you fantastic advice (slightly modified), Hokie. I hope you're paying attention. :)

 

I am.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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One of my favorite romantic songs = "Till There Was You", especially as sung by Kristin Chenoweth

 

Me too. :love::love:

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