nukethecross Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) I met my ex? almost 4 years ago. I had never had a girlfriend or ever really connected to a girl on any romantic level (social awkward nerd). Something connected with her though. We had great chemistry and she brought out the very best I had to offer. After a month spent hanging out as friends we were officially dating. a year and a half later we lived together. Being with her improved every part of my life (relationships with family, work ethic, ability to communicate with strangers). The second year we lived together I lost my job and had to start commuting 2 weeks on two weeks off to another state. She (at my encouragement) had re-entered university and was very stressed out with school. Then her uncle died and her grndmothers health started deteriorating quickly. We had had a few arguments in the past but nothing huge. Once all this started happening I felt she was moving away. I did everything I could to support her both financially and emotionally. I always tried to commincate how I felt and encouraged her to do the same. One day I came home from work and she was gone. She said she needs space to "find herself" and needs to be with her family. Later I got out of her that she has a negative opinion of relationships as a whole and that she thought we both needed to grow up. If she told me I'd ever have a chance she would never be able to move on. Her dad told me that he had never seen her as happy as she was with me. Less than 24 hours before she left she hugged me and told me she loved me and I could tell she meant it. Now I am friend zoned and don't know if I should keep moving in or back off. Keep her in my sights or move on to forever be wounded by a lost love I thought would last. If i get friend zoned will I ever have a chance? I love her with al my heart and would do anything for her. I know somewhere she loves me. We were no longer in the honeymoon phase and I think she's confused. Edited December 29, 2010 by nukethecross more information
homebrew Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Go read the links below in my siginature and follow them to a tee! She has G.I.G.S. and time and space is what she needs... You have to go NO CONTACT in your situation. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MAN THAT HAS WALKED ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET THAT GOT THEIR EX BACK BY BEING THEIR FRIEND... A.K.A. "FRIEND ZONED". In the meantime, go and get your life sorted out... be the best you that you can be! When you are ready... date other people and see what happens. You your EX might come back or you might meet someone even better. First things first though... Focus on You and No Contact with EX so you can heal and keep focus on you!
Author nukethecross Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 G.I.G.S.? I have talked to her a lot over the past wek about feeling and stuff. I hope thats not too much
homebrew Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Click on the links in my Signature... Grass is Greener Syndrome (G.I.G.S.)
SimonSerenade Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 You don't have to accept the friendship, You don't have to settle for any less than more than that, She has to realise that and one day make a decision for what it's worth, Go no contact and give her time to think, Might take months maybe a year or so but if you feel you had something special and providing there was no violence in the relationship on your part then you've always got a shot, I'd never stick around in somebodys life to see them enjoying it without me, Being friend zoned is basically keeping her guilty conscience at bay for the fact that she totally fobbed you off, She is young so it is likely she may have G.I.G.S, I think all of us go through it at some point. I know I've been through it before I met my recent ex girlfriend of 3 years, She was the one I decided I was ready to settle down and have a family with, We started that and it was great, Had a kid and everything but seem's now she's caught a bit of this gigsavitis and as I recall when I went through a rough couple of months not knowing what I wanted when I was younger, Well lets just say it took me a long time, Maybe even a year to come round and geuss who weren't waiting for me when I knew what I wanted?, Take this time now to better yourself and do things with your life that you couldn't when she was around, Maybe she'll come back maybe not, Maybe in a year or so you won't care either way.
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