beatingheartbaby Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 8 months ago the ex gf broke up with me. age old story...time and space...blah blah blah... I cut all ties. Blocked her from facebook, deleted all our mutual friends. I have a new girlfriend who is amazing. A month ago my ex started calling my mom a lot, asking about me. Wondering why I blocked her from facebook...etc. she told me my mom that If i loved her like i said i did, why didnt I pursue her more when she broke up with me... she texted me and asked me for coffee. I've heard she has a new boyfriend (mind you she got into a new relationship with this guy a month after we broke up) and ive heard from mutual friends she is very happy.... Since we broke up, Ive trimmed down a lot. down to 6% body fat, my new GF is much more attractive than her, i have a great job. Life is good. What do you think? should I meet for coffee? what are her intentions?
Author beatingheartbaby Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 BTW. she is my ex of 6 years...kind of a big point that i left out...
Karma20 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 If you're happy now then I wouldn't meet her. Things might only get confusing and could set you back from all the progress you made. As far as you pursing her when she dumped you that sounds like game playing. Why would you chase someone who didn't want to be with you? Honestly doesn't sound all that happy in her life right now
NeNinja Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 It sounds like...the honeymoon is over. While she was gone you took your time and did everything the right way. It's inspiring. Congratulations. If you are truly over her and your new (hot!) girlfriend is okay with it. I don't know if there's anything wrong with coffee. Be the bigger person, you know how it feels, give her the closure she left you waiting for. If you're no contact your mother should go no contact. If you dated for six years I can understand she and your family being close and I wouldn't tell them that they can't talk to her. I would ask them not to tell you what transpires if/when they speak to her. When my aunt ran into my ex gf at the mall on Christmas Eve they talked but I told my aunt I didn't want to hear what she said.
AbsoluteSucker Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Don't do it. I'd say focus on your current relationship and focus on what you have now. Going down memory lane isn't going to do your current relationship any favors. I don't know the exact nature of your current relationship, but if you tell the new girl you are meeting up with the ex, it may cause problems, if you don't tell her then you're essentially being somewhat dishonest. If you weren't attached maybe go for it, but the new girl is hotter, you're in a better place, just keep moving forward. If her big hang up is that she broke up with you and you didn't pursue her AND she found a new bf within a month, she doesn't deserve coffee, you deserved better, ESPECIALLY after six years.
ResetReality Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) Behave will you! Why would you want to jeopardize your current relationship for your ex? How would your current partner feel if you told her that you were going to meet your ex for a coffee?! Unless you take your new partner with you You are very fortunate to have found a new gf, good job and looking after yourself, which is fantastic to read seriously, don't look at the past, ignore her, carry on with your current partner Edited December 29, 2010 by ResetReality
LifeIsGreat Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 8 months ago the ex gf broke up with me. age old story...time and space...blah blah blah... I cut all ties. Blocked her from facebook, deleted all our mutual friends. I have a new girlfriend who is amazing. A month ago my ex started calling my mom a lot, asking about me. Wondering why I blocked her from facebook...etc. she told me my mom that If i loved her like i said i did, why didnt I pursue her more when she broke up with me... she texted me and asked me for coffee. I've heard she has a new boyfriend (mind you she got into a new relationship with this guy a month after we broke up) and ive heard from mutual friends she is very happy.... Since we broke up, Ive trimmed down a lot. down to 6% body fat, my new GF is much more attractive than her, i have a great job. Life is good. What do you think? should I meet for coffee? what are her intentions? NO- don't do it. You don't owe her any closure, and be willing to give it to her is NOT taking the high road.
Breakupguy12 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 8 months ago the ex gf broke up with me. age old story...time and space...blah blah blah... I cut all ties. Blocked her from facebook, deleted all our mutual friends. I have a new girlfriend who is amazing. A month ago my ex started calling my mom a lot, asking about me. Wondering why I blocked her from facebook...etc. she told me my mom that If i loved her like i said i did, why didnt I pursue her more when she broke up with me... she texted me and asked me for coffee. I've heard she has a new boyfriend (mind you she got into a new relationship with this guy a month after we broke up) and ive heard from mutual friends she is very happy.... Since we broke up, Ive trimmed down a lot. down to 6% body fat, my new GF is much more attractive than her, i have a great job. Life is good. What do you think? should I meet for coffee? what are her intentions? If you're happy in your currently relationship, and you're hearing that she is, and you obviously know the value of NC, what do you expect to get out of meeting with her for coffee? Do you think that's fair to your current, more attractive girlfriend?
SunsetRed Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Hell to the No, don't meet her!! You've done what many of us wish we could do..you did NC and moved on and created big improvements in your life. She's just missing what she should have held on to. Don't let her get her clutches into you. Her eyes have opened now that she sees you looking hot with a new gf hotter than she was. Let her miss what she should have held on to.
Author beatingheartbaby Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 thanks for the advice guys. I wish i would have read before I made the decision to meet for coffee....I met with her. it was fine. we talked about things, what has gone down in the past 8 months in each of our lives. everything was fine. I brought up the subject of dating, told her i had been involved with a few girls since, and I am dating one who i really like. she didnt say anything...so i told her i knew she had a boyfriend....and she opened up and everything went smooth. it was actually nice to talk to her, i mean 6 years is a long time to spend with someone. I am aware that she most likely left me for her new BF. And it used to piss me off...but now that im in a good place, it doesnt bother me at all. I dont really care, i ended up doing much better...so whatever, i hope she can be as happy as i am.... it also feels good to know that I saved some major face not acting like a psycho by going NC. NC is incredible.... anyways....So we agreed we would be friends, and i was genuinely excited. I left the coffee shop, and went home. I got really really sad, thinking about just being friends with her. I started thinking about all the memories, and it made me miserable. So I called her and asked her to meet me again for a quick word (she lives down the street from me). I told her that i was totally fine with not being with her, i've moved on...that ship has sailed. But i told her that its just too soon to be friends with her, because i still have feelings for her, and I told her it would only be fair to me, and my new girl, as well as her and her new boy if we didnt speak until i can actually say that I dont have feelings for her. I realized...that i dont have feelings for her. but I have feelings for our relationship that we once shared. It was a good thing, for a very long time. I get sad because i still dont really know the truth of why it ended, I just go with what makes the most sense. The easiest way to put it...i dont want her back...i really dont miss her, I just miss the good times. But on to the next one...more good times to be made. Thanks so much for all of your advice.
9Lives Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Wow!!!! What a man! I respect the way you handled everything. Very smooth and I'm glad u did meet with her. I bet she is hurting right now tho. Sounds like she wanted to move back in some day
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