carhill Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Cleave to your wife and buy your in-laws plane tickets to come visit. It sounds like family is important to both of you. Make it a priority. Sacrifice other things. Those kids will be grown before you know it. Make phone and webcam available to your wife (and her folks, if they're too poor to provide their own) to stay in touch with her family. This is normal in intercontinental family dynamics. The technology is there so use it. No need for unnecessary rancor. You wife's part is making a proactive effort to 'get along' with your parents. She does her part, they do theirs. You stay out of it. They're not children, rather responsible adults. Insist they act as such. This is what a leader does. You have a family now, with three kids. Time to be a leader. Get moving. Welcome to LS
Author josephv Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 I already apologized and my parents apologized as well. I think she is still holding a grudge. We had a heart to heart in May 2010 and thought we had worked out all the details (i.e. expectations). But right now, it truly feels like we are back to the old. In addition, it seems like she knows that if she wants to get to me, she can get to me through my parents. In addition, she knows it irks me when she does that. How can I stop feeling that way? Right now, it feels like we are in the olympics for mind games.
Smoky Day Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 If the last time you had a heart-to-heart was back in May 2010, it's time for another one. If you're looking for tips and tricks here to maneuver your marriage the way you want it, you're just another contender in the Mind Games Olympics. TALK to your wife, tell her how you feel, not just what you are angry about...and make sure you really listen to her and try to understand her point of view. Come back here after you have talked to her again, if you need interpretive help.
Author josephv Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 I briefly brought up/hinted to the discussion we had in May 2010 during a talk in September 2010. It was good for couple of days but then back to the old. I feel mentally drained. How many times do you have to tell someone before someone gets it? This is not rocket science... :-)
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