soleharmony1123 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I'm with Karma, I don't put any personal info on FB. An occasional message sent to a family member...and I post an inspirational quote on my status and I have found lost friends & a few of my relatives on FB as well. My FB pic is one of me happy & smiling which is my general state, until the Ex calls & conjures up his image again. But I'll definitely give it some consideration. Yes Poorguy is right I deleted my page for a few weeks and let me tell you it helped a lot. Also remember looks can be deceiving. You would never know I'm heartbroken if you looked at me but insides tell a different story. Honestly, Poorguy I never put my personal info on fb, I have however seen people do it to make a guy/girl jealous.
bl22 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You are 100% correct! What do all of your friends, family and girlfriends do... STALK people on Facebook! Most if not all of them do not talk or speak with the people they stalk because they find out everything they want to know. No reason to talk... Me and all of MANfriends (remember Men do not Facebook) have been contacted by all of our Long Term EXes that we have dated over the last 20 years or so... (Even the ones that got Married!) Why? Because we do not have Facebook... and they wanted to see how we were doing, what became of us and catch up (possible date us again). Exes have contacted us via email, called us but most contacted our parents or family members (by phone or through Facebook) to get our contact information. It seems like once a month... me and my MANfriends are having this conversation... "You will never believe who I heard from the other day..." DON'T LET FACEBOOK TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU! Thanks guess I've done the right thing then And yes its true when I've used FB, I've never really had to catch up with what people are doing because their FB says it all. Feels abit silly to ask when they can just say 'look at my information and photos, you'll see'
Karma20 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I don't comment on people's stuff, I only talk through inbox. I did delete my page for a few weeks and to be honest now I'm wondering if I should do it again.
Author Vickstar Posted December 28, 2010 Author Posted December 28, 2010 Thanks for all your advice guys! I think i will deactivate my account for a while cos it'll do me good, even if its only for a few weeks. I did it once before for a few weeks and it was a nice feeling and it wasnt a part of my daily routine. I think i'll just try and get on with life as normal and try my hardest to forget about him, its going to be difficult. If he does come back then that would be great but if not then thats life, theres nothing more i can do, ive done what most people have said which is NC so at least i can be proud of not begging him to come back
homebrew Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Thanks guess I've done the right thing then And yes its true when I've used FB, I've never really had to catch up with what people are doing because their FB says it all. Feels abit silly to ask when they can just say 'look at my information and photos, you'll see' Bingo! I would rather have the opportunity to speak / meet Every single Long Term Ex of mine and my friends wanted to meet with us... Do you know why? Because they wanted to SEE us and actually talk to us. Had we had Facebook... I doubt many of them would have taken that extra step... You want my results and the results of my friends who have been contacted by ALL of our long term EXes (many of us, multiple times through the years... Most of them were wanting to date us again too... not just catching up!)... Then try it my way... No Facebook. Even a Profile picture is all an EX may want to see... If you don't want an EX back... then by all means... Facebook and I hope YOU or YOUR PARTNER never have an issue with it. Seriously, How many horror stories does one have to hear about people in relationships or marriages... and the trouble that it has caused? Fact - 28% of all divorces... Facebook is sighted as a "reason" / cause. This was a stat from 2 years ago... Want to bet it's WAY HIGHER? Fact - Facebook is subpoenaed more than any other company in the entire world! Go look at what the divorce lawyers are saying about Facebook and how much of a GOLDMINE it is for them and their clients. I know... you are going to tell me that you and your relationship / marriage are different... Sure... just like all the other people said before their horror story. Good people can find themselves in bad positions / situations and sometimes good people can make mistakes. Trick is... Try to limit the bad positions / situations that I find myself in... To me, Facebook does not help or make my relationship and better... but I do that it sure can HURT. To each his own...
LifeIsGreat Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 AMEN brother Homebrew!!! How weird, I was just on the phone with a lady friend of mine who cannot understand why I'm not on FB. I explained I'm not interested in all the drama, especially as a single guy. Can you imagine having all these ex's as FB friends and then finally also having a gf on FB? I told my friend if I wanted all that excitement and drama I would join a dang swingers club!!!
homebrew Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) AMEN brother Homebrew!!! How weird, I was just on the phone with a lady friend of mine who cannot understand why I'm not on FB. I explained I'm not interested in all the drama, especially as a single guy. Can you imagine having all these ex's as FB friends and then finally also having a gf on FB? I told my friend if I wanted all that excitement and drama I would join a dang swingers club!!! I couldn't have said it any better myself... The people that will defend Facebook will only tell you about all the good that comes from it... Which believe me it does. However, wait till they are in a relationship.... These are the same "people" that will be checking their partners Facebook more than they check their own. Wondering what the heck they are up too, who they are looking at and who they are talking with. Ask these same "people" once they are in a relationship if they prefer their partner did not have a Facebook... Most will tell you, Yes. Why do I know this... because 2/3rds of these same "people" who defend Facebook on LS have either been cheated on or were dumped for someone else (for a lot of these people, by more than one EX too) You think these "people" are going to be little insecure or have trusts issues? Yup! Edited December 28, 2010 by homebrew
poorguy Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I couldn't have said it any better myself... The people that will defend Facebook will only tell you about all the good that comes from it... Which believe me it does. However, wait till they are in a relationship.... These are the same "idiots" that will be checking their partners Facebook more than they check their own. Wondering what the heck they are up too, who they are looking at and who they are talking with. Ask these same "idiots" once they are in a relationship if they prefer their partner did not have a Facebook... Most will tell you, Yes. Why do I know this... because 2/3rds of these same "idiots" who defend Facebook on LS have either been cheated on or were dumped for someone else (for a lot of these people, by more than one EX too) You think these "idiots" are not going to be little insecure or have trusts issues? Yup! That is just so true. I've seen it, lived it and would never do it again. This is a very good point. That's why OP don't worry about his FB pages it's all about keeping up appearances and it's all bullsh_t
Breakupguy12 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 So any success stories of dumpers coming back when you thought you'd never hear from them again? I'm sure it's happened here and there, but it's not something that I'd hold my breath for the happen if I were you. He's obviously moved on. He probably misses you no doubt, which is probably why he was reaching out to you to check on you here and there. Him removing you from his Facebook was likely so that he can begin getting over you as well. Chances are slim that you're the only one doing the missing in this situation. There are times when one realizes they want to move on, yet still love and miss the other person as well.
ginastar Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 if you love someone and miss them when they are not around, why move on?
LifeIsGreat Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 if you love someone and miss them when they are not around, why move on? Because it takes more than love (and missing) to make a real relationship work.
Nkognito Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have facebook, I have no problems with it or the people who are on it. When you really think of it, it's the same as posting here. No offense homebrew as I truly respect your advice and threads you offer but the "real men" thing pushes it a little far when we're all on this (loveshack) social networking site typing our bleeding hearts desire to strangers. There is a mentality to things that people must take into perspective. I have 173 friends and out of all of them I do not personally know 5 of them. I have met the rest in person and continue to network through those friends with other friends. I think facebook is thought of in a light not the same as this typical forum. People come here and spill their guts about their most personal matters on here yet none of us are friends or hardly know what each other look like but we're glad to offer any help and accept what is given. This is pretty much the same ideology on facebook, the only problem is because the person talking to you shares more information (photos, friends, contact info) then they become more personal and therefore become more of a emotional damper to you when wires are crossed in a innocent posting. I have girl-friends who have SOOO many guy friends on facebook that they have to disable it due to jealousy. I have recently thought about disabling my facebook because I only use it for banter really and to post funny stuff. I use the "places" on my phone to let my friends know where I will be if they want to meet up. For instance I checked in at the bowling alley and had a few friends show with their kids for some $9 pitchers of beer and $1 lanes. It was good times but I dont see my man card being revoked for using it. As for my ex or ex's, I have my privacy set to "friends only". So nobody outside of my friends list can see my photos other than my profile picture and well no other information gets out. Honeslty I really dont have a care if it does because I dont need to maintain some kind of e-reputation. I just wanted to point out that blaming facebook is like blaming video games for violence, nobody was playing Gran Theft Auto when the riots broke out in Wyatts....twice. Facebook does not generate drama, the people taking it too seriously and not able to refrain themselves from reading too much into things is what makes drama. This world is tough and like John Wayne, you're going to need a little thicker skin.
homebrew Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have facebook, I have no problems with it or the people who are on it. When you really think of it, it's the same as posting here. No offense homebrew as I truly respect your advice and threads you offer but the "real men" thing pushes it a little far when we're all on this (loveshack) social networking site typing our bleeding hearts desire to strangers. There is a mentality to things that people must take into perspective. I have 173 friends and out of all of them I do not personally know 5 of them. I have met the rest in person and continue to network through those friends with other friends. I think facebook is thought of in a light not the same as this typical forum. People come here and spill their guts about their most personal matters on here yet none of us are friends or hardly know what each other look like but we're glad to offer any help and accept what is given. This is pretty much the same ideology on facebook, the only problem is because the person talking to you shares more information (photos, friends, contact info) then they become more personal and therefore become more of a emotional damper to you when wires are crossed in a innocent posting. I have girl-friends who have SOOO many guy friends on facebook that they have to disable it due to jealousy. I have recently thought about disabling my facebook because I only use it for banter really and to post funny stuff. I use the "places" on my phone to let my friends know where I will be if they want to meet up. For instance I checked in at the bowling alley and had a few friends show with their kids for some $9 pitchers of beer and $1 lanes. It was good times but I dont see my man card being revoked for using it. As for my ex or ex's, I have my privacy set to "friends only". So nobody outside of my friends list can see my photos other than my profile picture and well no other information gets out. Honeslty I really dont have a care if it does because I dont need to maintain some kind of e-reputation. I just wanted to point out that blaming facebook is like blaming video games for violence, nobody was playing Gran Theft Auto when the riots broke out in Wyatts....twice. Facebook does not generate drama, the people taking it too seriously and not able to refrain themselves from reading too much into things is what makes drama. This world is tough and like John Wayne, you're going to need a little thicker skin. You are one of the 30% that use Facebook for it's intended purpose and from your postings... I am sure that you would also be in a relationship with someone that uses Facebook in the manner in which you do. For you, you can take it or leave it... I suspect in your case, Facebook would more than likely never be an issue for you. Also, you agreed with my premise as to this issues concerning Facebook... You have scene all the drama that your girl-friends have experienced. I bet a majority of the people you know have had some drama due to it. I agree that Facebook itself is not the issue but the 70% of the people using it... I can't say I know to many 16 - 30 year olds that are on your maturity level... Can you?
Nkognito Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You are one of the 30% that use Facebook for it's intended purpose and from your postings... I am sure that you would also be in a relationship with someone that uses Facebook in the manner in which you do. For you, you can take it or leave it... I suspect in your case, Facebook would more than likely never be an issue for you. I don't know, some people would disagree with some of the random junk I post on it from pictures of raptors with RPG's in their little hands riding on sharks jumping out of the water with laser beams attached to their heads! Funny stuff to me... But yea, most girls I meet, have facebook and use it for all random and social purposes. The previous girlfriend did so as well but she was not a big poster on it. Granted she had like hundreds of friends which she claimed were random people sometimes speaking foreign languages (why she added them I have no clue) but regardless she was not very technical trendy with it. Also, you agreed with my premise as to this issues concerning Facebook... You have scene all the drama that your girl-friends have experienced. I bet a majority of the people you know have had some drama due to it. I agree that Facebook itself is not the issue but the 70% of the people using it... I can't say I know to many 16 - 30 year olds that are on your maturity level... Can you? Indeed there was a lot of drama from it, in fact two of them disabled thier accounts today because of it. One of them met the guy they are seeing on it but because he was rode hard and put up wet by a lot of girls he has trust issues and big problems with the amount of "guy" friends my friend has. She's a tomboy so they dont seem to be working out a lot because of it. My other friend, I have no clue but I guess its boy drama as well. I disabled mine today, I liked it for posting pictures of my ribeye meals and funny videos and stuff but it's not something I need dire in my life.
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