northern_sky Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I must be in a touchy/bitter mood. There was a guy I went on one crappy date with back in June. It was crappy because I ended up getting really sick after drinking the martinis at the bar he took me to, and blacking out. He never checked up on me to make sure I was OK, even though I was literally carried out of the bar unconscious. Although he never checked up on me, I stupidly contacted him again, and he suggested we meet that Saturday night. Then he blew me off and sent me another email that said he'd call me again in two weeks when he was back from Europe, and naturally never did. LOL. I was hurt for maybe a couple of days, and then forgot about him. A month ago he randomly requests that I add him as a friend on LinkedIn. I thought it was weird, since we hadn't spoken since June, but shrugged and added him. The last few weeks I have gotten several emails from him that he clearly sent to his whole email list about his business and some deal they are giving away. I was annoyed because every time I see his name in my inbox it's like a reminder that he was a dick to me. So finally tonight I sent him this: Please remove me from your mail list, thanks. He immediately wrote back: "Ah, I'm sorry, SKY. This was meant for another SKY. It won't happen again." I wasn't expecting a response from him, and what he wrote tweaked me for some reason. It's like he had to make me feel like, of course I didn't mean this for YOU, it was meant for some other girl. Also, I feel like he was mocking me with the "Ah, I'm sorry" BS. I didn't respond and deleted his email. This comes on the heels of J blowing off seeing me before he leaves (as he suggested we do after Christmas). I feel like an idiot because I ordered a book for him that means a lot to me and he had told me many times he had always wanted to read. Despite my frustrations with his selfishness, I really did care about him, even as a friend, because of the connection I thought we had, and was hoping to give it to him before he left as a going away present. Now I will probably just throw it in the trash since I already have a copy, and I don't know anybody else who would be interested in reading something so esoteric. Maybe I am just in a bad mood, but I am so fed up with guys at this point. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I don't know any (with the exception of one old friend). Maybe all of the guys where I live who are my age just suck. I remember meeting much nicer guys when I was younger. Lately I feel as if I can't even expect decent consideration from a guy, like the kind a casual female acquaintance would give me. At this point if a guy shows any interest in me -- let's say he asks me out on a date -- I immediately expect him to lose it and start blowing me off. I don't know how to process this, or how to change my behavior in the new year. I feel like I should take some sort of step forward in terms of dating and my interactions with men, but I have no clue what that would be. When it comes to hurt, my first instinct is to curl up and retreat. But that can't be healthy. I am fighting off bitterness, but every year seems to make me more bitter. I used to be so innocent and hopeful.
Seamless74 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 what are we supposed to say to that?? I think thats more like journal material
Author northern_sky Posted December 28, 2010 Author Posted December 28, 2010 what are we supposed to say to that?? I think thats more like journal material No one is forcing you to write a response. If you have nothing to say, then that's fine.
USMCHokie Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Your people picker needs some tweaking, Sky...
Feelin Frisky Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You need to be kissed and kissed often. And by someone who knows how. Kiss me you fool.
Star Gazer Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Maybe I am just in a bad mood, but I am so fed up with guys at this point. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I don't know any (with the exception of one old friend). Maybe all of the guys where I live who are my age just suck. You're not alone, trust me. All of my single girlfriends feel the same way right now, myself included. Honestly, I'm [] that close from taking a complete dating hiatus, just to avoid getting bitter and down on myself. It's just not that easy to find someone who rocks our world who's also a really good person AND feels the same way. I don't know how to process this, or how to change my behavior in the new year. I feel like I should take some sort of step forward in terms of dating and my interactions with men, but I have no clue what that would be. Aren't you moving to NYC soon? Perhaps a major change in scenery will help you make the change you need.
ecm Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 It's not like your name is Jennifer!! How many Sky's do people know? Honestly. He's a chooch, and obviously failing in some sort of multi level marketing business, or why would he try to get someone he flaked on to sign on with him? Ick. I would take it as a big fat "HA HA" that he was asking you for something. Sounds like you do need a better people picker. If you find out where to get one, please let me know- as mine is clearly not working well, either.
Star Gazer Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 It's not like your name is Jennifer!! How many Sky's do people know? Have you been drinking again? Her name isn't Sky. That's her LS name.
OceanGirl Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have also been stuffed around by all the men I really liked this year. It really makes it hard for me to keep the faith. I also feel like I should just be done with dating or at least take a looooooong break.
ecm Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Have you been drinking again? Her name isn't Sky. That's her LS name. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL, and no. BTW, MY idea of "drinking" the other night was like 3 glasses of a punch concoction I made. AND, I drink like maybe twice a month. I am literally lol right now, though. Well, how am I supposed to know? I have a niece whose name is Skyla. Hilarious. I feel like an idiot now. Lol. Seriously. Whoops. Well, anyway. SKY could have an unusual name, too. Mine is a guy's name and spelled differently, so I would know it's a load of bs if it happened to me.
Star Gazer Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have also been stuffed around by all the men I really liked this year. It really makes it hard for me to keep the faith. I also feel like I should just be done with dating or at least take a looooooong break. I just received a FB message from a girlfriend going through the same thing. I literally just spit water out when I read it, it cracked me up: "Oh, trust me girl... I'm riding the bitter train for sure. Choooooo choooooo!!!!" That's my new code word for having had enough of dating. Choooo chooo!!!
USMCHokie Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Choooo chooo!!! Oh how this reminds me of my young grade school days...
pandagirl Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have basically been a nun for the last four months since my breakup, and I plan to stay that way at least for a few more months. I find after a breakup or a discouraging dating period, I just completely remove myself from even thinking about men and focus on other things for the time being. It makes me feel less stressed out, less discouraged, less upset, and saves me emotional turmoil. I have a lot of other things I want to put my energy into now anyway. Of course, I'll start dating again at some point, just not currently. This is a long-winded way of me suggesting that you do the same! Forget dudes. If you're feeling negative, you're most likely to attract the wrong guys, too. Sky, obviously the last few guys you've dated have really sucked and, yes, it's discouraging, but everyone goes through this crap, and somehow we all manage to survive. Just depend on how you want to go about it.
january2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You're not alone, trust me. All of my single girlfriends feel the same way right now, myself included. Honestly, I'm [] that close from taking a complete dating hiatus, just to avoid getting bitter and down on myself. It's just not that easy to find someone who rocks our world who's also a really good person AND feels the same way. If you're feeling negative, you're most likely to attract the wrong guys, too. Sky, obviously the last few guys you've dated have really sucked and, yes, it's discouraging, but everyone goes through this crap, and somehow we all manage to survive. Just depend on how you want to go about it. Second all of this. Most of us go through this period after a disappointment. And then it all starts looking up when we're ready to get back into the game.
Els Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 It's just not that easy to find someone who rocks our world who's also a really good person AND feels the same way. Seconded, completely. Just think of this incident as a little bump on the road to happiness, Sky. You're evidently making good progress - everyone's entitled to some down days along the way.
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