Will i hear from him again?

[guarded]

Hi everyone, im really confused hope you can help me get my head around this...ill try and make this as short as possible...

 

So there's this friend of mine, he had a thing for me once years back. Besides sharing a kiss once nothing ever happened because the feeling at the time wasn't mutual. Naturally, we lost touch when i got into a serious relationship and moved out of home. When he found out about it he emailed me and said something along the lines of i shouldnt disrespect myself or my family etc.. i never replied and we didnt talk for at least 3 years. But during this time i ran into him at the shop he used to work at, when he saw me he seemed to shy away and got someone else to serve me.

 

Anyway, we reconnected via fb 3yrs later and things were going well and we both wanted to pick up where we left off and get to know each other again. I thought we were on the same page but he seemed to have some reservations...despite that he always kept in touch and we'd chat and sms at least twice a week or more. About 3-4months later we ended up talking about what happened between us back then and he got all touchy and he snapped and said he fell for me but i shot him down. He said that he doesnt think he could feel that way for me again. But he didnt make sense when he said its hard to be friends and be around me because of old feelings and the attraction between us and because he's scared to rekindle old feelings. He told me he still held on to the fantasy he had from years ago. I pointed out the contradiction and he went all weird and said he didnt wanna talk about it. About a wk later he said he wanted to leave things alone, so i did.. i didnt contact him for a few weeks and he ended up getting in touch with me and apologised for being a dick. anyway i accepted his apology and things were going great.

 

Long story short about a month later i slept with him, he came so quick, it was literally in and out. He ran out and came back, i actually didnt know he already came so i tried again and thats when he asked if we could just stick with oral. Anyway, i asked him what was wrong and he brought up crap about him being confused and how he didnt know what has happening with his ex. And im like ok, we shouldnt try again. And he finally let it out and said that he actually came way too fast. Before i left, we had a moment and he told me how beautiful i was etc.. after i left he messaged me and said that he was sorry again and he hoped everything between us was ok. About 3 days later he messaged and told me that it was really over with his ex and if we could meet and talk. We did and we sorted things out between us and we kept contact and we made plans to hang out and all but i ended up going overseas for a bit and with uni and work we were both pretty busy so we never got the chance. I got a msg from him when I landed overseas but I never replied. About a wk later he sends me another asking if there was something wrong and if I wasn’t talking to him and if I forgotten about him. Ofcourse I said no, ive just been busy.

 

When we spoke, he admitted that he got embarrassed that he came so quick and that he hopes that I don’t make him come so fast next time etc…

 

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago… he messaged me and told me he was back from his trip and he was around so If I was free on Saturday nite maybe we could hang out.. I replied and asked how his trip was and what time on Saturday (so I can confirm if I was free). He said he’d let me know, and he asked how life was going. I sent a short reply and said life’s great and couldn’t complain. Just to let me know. And that we’ll talk later…

 

I was hoping we would catch up but i wasn’t expecting anything because we didn’t make any concrete plans but im just confused because I don’t understand why I havnt heard from him for weeks. It’ll be a month this Thursday. I know everyone’s busy this time of the year but it only takes a min to send a msg right? He always initiates conversations and he’s always the first to msg me.

 

I know we’re just friends so I shouldn’t be expecting much but I don’t understand what happened… I thought we left things on a good note? I never initiate but is it time for me to show I care about our friendship and initiate contact for once? Will I hear from him at all or? What do you guys think is going on? i have fallen for him but i dont want to get hurt so ive played it cool. Ive been wanting to msg him but my pride's getting in the way.

[sigurpol]

What whirlwind of events.

 

Um, in regards if you'll hear from him again? I would say yea, because it seems like he keeps coming back for whatever reason. I feel like he's way confused about something.. what that is, who knows. He mentioned some drama with his ex.. but, thats the only thing I can think of for now.

 

He sounds like a loose cannon by the way he snaps at you about particular things, then shuts off. That's obnoxious.. and I understand people do that sometimes out of frustration but.. I feel like it's a pattern with him. If he has something on his mind, he should just say it.

 

Anyway, he sounds wound up. You can message him if you want, if you feel the need to sort some things out. Perhaps that would help him a bit.

[Truly Lost]

I say, go ahead and message him. Keep the momentum or what little there is of it going. You are just friends after all. Maybe once you two communicate again you can pick up a closer relationship if both of you are ready and willing, but be careful. He may have other things going on and by that I mean other girls in his life that he might also be flirting with. Lots of guys like to juggle with multiple options (potential girlfriends), especially when things remain undefined. It's not a bad thing, but can lead to having your heart broken if things remain vague.

[guarded]

I really want to msg and see whats going on but i dont know if i want to hear it? i dont know if im making sense..

 

Before we slept together he was saying that he wasnt ready for a relationship and that he just saw me as a friend. I never understood why he turned things around and made it seem like i was wanting a relationship when i never did.

 

This never came up again after we did it, in fact he seemed more comfortable with me and all. We'd always be in contact. But im just baffled as to why he suddenly stopped messaging, this is the longest we havnt spoken since we started talking again..

 

Im soooooooooooo frustrated! Im pretty crap when it comes to reading signals, but do you guys think there's something there on his part? i dont know what to think, does he like me?

 

if i dont msg him first do you really think he'll come around and get back in contact?

 

and if i do msg what do i say?

[guarded]

He may have other things going on and by that I mean other girls in his life that he might also be flirting with. Lots of guys like to juggle with multiple options (potential girlfriends), especially when things remain undefined. It's not a bad thing, but can lead to having your heart broken if things remain vague.

 

I know he has a lot of girls in his life and i try and not let it bother me but it does. I've tried to play it cool but i dont know how long i can keep that up. He asked me months ago if it was ok that he was kinda doing it with another friend and i said no and he can forget about toying with the idea of fwb with me and that if he wants her to go for it. He replied and said that he hasnt done anything with her yet and that he wanted to check with me first?

 

what was up with that? ive asked my guy friends and they all think im stupid and kinda blind not to see that he still likes me. But because im giving him mixed signals and nothing to work with he's being just as confusing. is that a fair call?

[Truly Lost]

I've learned in my experience that if a guy says he isn't ready for a relationship then it's wise to take him at his word. Sex does not mean someone is in love with you. It's just a physical act of affection, so don't get it confused with emotional feelings. If he wants to be with you he will pursue you. Guys usually do the chasing but that doesn't mean things between you two can't work out. Maybe it's timing. I don't see why he wouldn't contact you again, but it's not going to be when you want to hear from him. Like I said before...perhaps he has other girls he is hanging out with. He isn't looking to be exclusive with anyone yet or maybe he has someone on his radar.

 

You can give him hints....it can't hurt...and he might actually be attracted to your effort at getting his attention, just don't count on anything serious.

 

Be very casual with him. Contact him. There is no harm in doing that, just don't get your hopes up prematurely.

 

Good Luck.

[Truly Lost]

I know he has a lot of girls in his life and i try and not let it bother me but it does. I've tried to play it cool but i dont know how long i can keep that up. He asked me months ago if it was ok that he was kinda doing it with another friend and i said no and he can forget about toying with the idea of fwb with me and that if he wants her to go for it. He replied and said that he hasnt done anything with her yet and that he wanted to check with me first?

 

what was up with that? ive asked my guy friends and they all think im stupid and kinda blind not to see that he still likes me. But because im giving him mixed signals and nothing to work with he's being just as confusing. is that a fair call?

 

Um....I think he was trying to feel you out. Seeing if he has anything serious going on with you. I think it's shallow that he would throw his potential involvement with another girl in your face, but that is when I would lay down what you want from him. If you even still want it after his gross attempt at getting a rise out of you. If he insists on pursuing this girl then that's when you say "go for it", and f**k off...geez....why didn't you just walk him up to her front door and say I give you both my blessing. If you like him you gotta let him know. Don't be coy. He can't read your mind.

[guarded]

lol. i was caught off guard when he asked. when i said no you can count me out, he replied and said he hasnt done anything with her and he'd rather me. This might sound dumb but i didnt know what to make of the conversation at the time...

 

so have i blown my chance by acting like im not interested and playing it all cool?

[joeLove]

The guy is really a lose cannon.

He seems to be either confused, or that's the way he plays the game. You seem to present yourself to him as if you always make time for him, whenever he is available. Be friend with him, but until he matures, seems to me, it will be a roller coaster ... and given that he has other girl friends and he shows up every blue moon, make sure you practice safe sex with him ... cause you don't know, where he has been .... in between

[Jynxx]

So you told him you were busy when he tried to contact you. The next time he tried to contact you you told him you would talk later. Now you expect him to contact you after you've blown him off 2 times?

 

Go ahead, message him. You owe him that. He will not pursue you if you blow him off all the time because he doesn't want to come over as a stalker, nor should he.

[guarded]

So you told him you were busy when he tried to contact you. The next time he tried to contact you you told him you would talk later. Now you expect him to contact you after you've blown him off 2 times?.

 

The first time he asked to hang out the timing was bad because i left to go overseas for a wk. I got a msg from him when i landed but i didnt reply. i got a msg from him about a wk later and he was like hey how u doing, im online can we chat...i didnt reply straightaway so he asked if i wasnt talking to him anymore. i said ofcourse not ive just been busy, came back from overseas and uni etc.. we talked for a bit and then he messaged me a wk later going hey you've forgotten about hey? im like no never, where did that come from? and he said he's always here and that he just wanted to see how i was...

 

anyway id get random but constant messages from him just to say hi and he'd make small talk. id reply but never did i initiate....

 

the next time he tried to hangout was when he messaged and said he was around and if i was free on sat nite maybe we can meet...i messaged back and asked what time on sat? and he replied and said he'd let me know and asked me how life was...i said that i was glad to hear he was back. life was great, no complaints. just let me know. anyways ill talk to you later. that was my msg...now although i was hoping to hang out i wasnt holding my breath because nothing was concrete..but now im confused because he said he'd let me know but its almost been 4 wks and i still havnt heard from him?

 

I just cant help wonder why? we were fine, well i thought we were but he just suddenly stopped messaging. what could've happened? where did i go wrong? i didnt blow him off, i told him to let me know a time so i can confirm....?

 

i miss him, i miss the messages..and i want to see him but i dont want to look desperate by being the first to msg. And i dont know if he wants to hear from me, i just thought if he wanted to get in contact he would. has he given up? ill still hear from him right?

[Imajerk17]

It always amazes me when girls keep giving guys who act douche-y all these different chances, and then they are surprised when it doesn't work out.

 

So guarded, what do you like about this guy anyway? He sounds like someone who pouts and whines whenever he doesn't get his way. Surely you can find someone better, no?

 

You showed poor judgement by sleeping with him. See the above paragraph.

Edited December 28, 2010 by Imajerk17

[Karma20]

He's either confused or scared or god knows what. To be honest no one can answer why he did what he did but him. You can ask him but it doesn't seem like he would tell you. I would let him go for now. As far as him contacting you, again only time and him know if he will. I know its easier said than done to walk away but sometimes you aren't left with a choice. If he cares he'll contact you, contacting him can push him further away.

[guarded]

So guarded, what do you like about this guy anyway? He sounds like someone who pouts and whines whenever he doesn't get his way. Surely you can find someone better, no?

 

He’s hot! Shallow I know.. he’s great when he’s not all confused and he seems to have himself worked out. But when’s he’s confused or scared or whatever he is I really hate him! I thought I was treating him well. Why couldn’t he see that?

 

You showed poor judgement by sleeping with him. See the above paragraph.

 

That was my mistake and I wish I could take it back. I hate to say it but the sex was pretty bad! For someone who spoke like he was so experienced he certainly didn’t deliver. But again.. I didn’t make a deal out of that and I thought I handled it well but I guess not?!

 

 

He's either confused or scared or god knows what. To be honest no one can answer why he did what he did but him. You can ask him but it doesn't seem like he would tell you. I would let him go for now. As far as him contacting you, again only time and him know if he will. I know its easier said than done to walk away but sometimes you aren't left with a choice. If he cares he'll contact you, contacting him can push him further away.

 

Its sooo frustrating! I mean what could he possibly be confused or be scared about? I know if I ask he wont answer and he’ll just run. I havnt heard from him in a month and ive been so tempted to msg but ive just been holding back.. for some reason I want him in my life and I want to keep some kind of friendship with him. I don’t know why im feeling this but I feel like im missing out. Besides his hotness he hasn’t shown me anything else great so I cant figure out why I want him so badly?

[Karma20]

He’s hot! Shallow I know.. he’s great when he’s not all confused and he seems to have himself worked out. But when’s he’s confused or scared or whatever he is I really hate him! I thought I was treating him well. Why couldn’t he see that?

 

 

 

That was my mistake and I wish I could take it back. I hate to say it but the sex was pretty bad! For someone who spoke like he was so experienced he certainly didn’t deliver. But again.. I didn’t make a deal out of that and I thought I handled it well but I guess not?!

 

 

 

 

Its sooo frustrating! I mean what could he possibly be confused or be scared about? I know if I ask he wont answer and he’ll just run. I havnt heard from him in a month and ive been so tempted to msg but ive just been holding back.. for some reason I want him in my life and I want to keep some kind of friendship with him. I don’t know why im feeling this but I feel like im missing out. Besides his hotness he hasn’t shown me anything else great so I cant figure out why I want him so badly?

You want him so badly because you can't have him. I know its frustrating but believe me if you contact him and he doesn't respond you'll be more frustrated and have to start NC all over again

[DuskCrush]

Give it another month --then contact him.

In the meantime--try to move on...You don't need to worry if he will contact you because you will be contacting him in one month.

SO just relax.

Good Luck.

[guarded]

Im trying sooo hard to forget about it but i just cant! its harder than i thought! Am i kidding myself? there's really no chance of him contacting me is there? wait another month? thats a long wait

[guarded]

ok i really dont think i can wait another month! how do i pick up where we left off? we're friends so sending a msg wouldn't hurt right? but i really don't know what to say...any ideas?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hi,

 

I don't think that he would be continually willing to rekindle your "friendship" were he not truly interested in more.

 

As for the sex thing... I can just imagine evolving to have suuuuuuuuuuch a long-term thing for somebody, that IF I ever got to be intimate with her, I too might not last too long. I think I'd shrug it off, and explain it clearly, instead of literally leaving the scene embarrassed.

 

That kind of an emotional build-up may not translate as heavenly to something as intricate as intercourse.

 

You assure in some other post that he is always the one who initiates contact, and that is a sure sign that he is interested in you as more than a friend. (as I've said many times over, "men just do not do the 'friends with women' thing when they don't truly have romantic interest in them" {except for coworker situations, and perhaps those of each being married to a brother-sister tandem, or the like}" ).

 

You really have to erase the thoughts of the 'bad sex' until such time as when it is proven repeatedly. I just wouldn't knock him for being THAT into you that his wiring didn't allow him the 'control' he may otherwise have. Just getting used to the idea of his having you sexually would help that considerably. (sorta like he needs to 'pinch himself' - no, not THERE!)

 

 

I hope this helps you a bit.

[guarded]

Thanks SincereOnlineGuy, that gave me a little hope

 

Well....i finally heard from him a month later. I can't believe i managed to hold back for that long lol.

 

Even though I was sooo glad to hear from him i was kinda left confused yet again...

 

He sent me a msg saying that he was back for good and hoped that i keep in touch. I didnt get a chance to reply straightaway so he sends another saying hey keep in touch. I didnt wanna sound too excited to hear from him so i just replied and said: welcome back! its been awhile..hope you've been well. We exchanged a few messages, he threw me some compliments, said he thought about me, cracked some sexual jokes, he asked if i was dating anyone and he mentioned that he was kinda working things out with his ex and asked if i still thought about him and like him... Admittedly i was upset to hear about his ex, so i didnt reply but he continued to send a string of messages....

 

i didnt end up replying until about 2 wks later..surprisingly he replied straightaway! i wasnt expecting a reply from him given how rude i was ignoring his last few messages.

 

My messaged picked up from where he left off..i said i could be dating if i wanted to but im not and i said good question (if i still thought about him etc) but its not important anymore because his now working things out with his ex. Wished him well and told him to keep in touch

 

he replied...joked and said i was a little late and 'hahaha im back w/my gf again. ill let u know when i messaged u i had been thinking about u etc...."

 

he said that he gets himself off thinking about me and told me how hard i make him.. i obviously didnt reply. he kept sending me a bunch of messages...he asked if i still lived at the same place and said he just walked past, he asked me to go online so we can chat...asked me if id still get together etc...

 

i didnt wanna entertain his messages so i replied and said: yh i still live there, i think u know the answer but its not important.. u have a gf. anyway, u know im always here if u need me. keep in touch...

 

was my reply ok? how would u guys take it if u got that kind of msg? i still wanna keep the friendship so i didnt wanna be cold.. have i blown it? have i completely lost him?

 

i still cant get my head around the whole exchange can anyone make it a little clearer for me?

 

i feel like im always asking the same thing but do u guys think he'll come around again? do u think id still hear from him?

[dispatch3d]

The first time he asked to hang out the timing was bad because i left to go overseas for a wk. I got a msg from him when i landed but i didnt reply. i got a msg from him about a wk later and he was like hey how u doing, im online can we chat...i didnt reply straightaway so he asked if i wasnt talking to him anymore. i said ofcourse not ive just been busy, came back from overseas and uni etc.. we talked for a bit and then he messaged me a wk later going hey you've forgotten about hey? im like no never, where did that come from? and he said he's always here and that he just wanted to see how i was...

 

anyway id get random but constant messages from him just to say hi and he'd make small talk. id reply but never did i initiate....

 

the next time he tried to hangout was when he messaged and said he was around and if i was free on sat nite maybe we can meet...i messaged back and asked what time on sat? and he replied and said he'd let me know and asked me how life was...i said that i was glad to hear he was back. life was great, no complaints. just let me know. anyways ill talk to you later. that was my msg...now although i was hoping to hang out i wasnt holding my breath because nothing was concrete..but now im confused because he said he'd let me know but its almost been 4 wks and i still havnt heard from him?

 

I just cant help wonder why? we were fine, well i thought we were but he just suddenly stopped messaging. what could've happened? where did i go wrong? i didnt blow him off, i told him to let me know a time so i can confirm....?

 

i miss him, i miss the messages..and i want to see him but i dont want to look desperate by being the first to msg. And i dont know if he wants to hear from me, i just thought if he wanted to get in contact he would. has he given up? ill still hear from him right?

 

First paragraph. Alright this is something that's not JUST important for when you meet a guy you want to date, it's important for ALL your friendships AND making new friends. RESPOND TO EVERY MESSAGE. I'm serious. Ignoring a message is not cool, never ever do it. I generally respond immediately because thinking about responses increases my anxiety (me having high anxiety is usually much worse than not saying the perfect thing). Think of it this way, would u ever ignore a text message from the prime minister? Probably not. Treat all your friends like that.

 

On to the second part. It sounds like you blew him off his potential meetings twice. The amount of "shots" you get with any particular person is generally related to their self esteem. Really high self esteem people are going to give you a LOT of lee-way, because they are awesome and get things done haha. Lower self-esteem people are going to assume it's something they did wrong, or that you just don't like them, so you get fewer shots. Don't give me this bull**** about "not solid plans". Look, your excuse doesn't mean **** all. If you flake on someone, you flake, PERIODDDDD. If you flake on a friend more than 2-3 times, expect to not get regular invites. This has been my experience with having more friends than I can hang out with. I eventually realized that I can't afford to offer to do something with someone and then backout. Or send out "feeler" messages to all my friends and pick the best event. That's not really cool. People want to feel wanted, so if you commit or ask about a certain event, SHOW UP! When people invite you out to an event, they feel anxiety over it because they want to feel liked. So (a) always return with an answer, even if it's negative, (b) realize you only have so many tries at stuff.

[dispatch3d]

He sent me a msg saying that he was back for good and hoped that i keep in touch. I didnt get a chance to reply straightaway so he sends another saying hey keep in touch. I didnt wanna sound too excited to hear from him so i just replied and said: welcome back! its been awhile..hope you've been well. We exchanged a few messages, he threw me some compliments, said he thought about me, cracked some sexual jokes, he asked if i was dating anyone and he mentioned that he was kinda working things out with his ex and asked if i still thought about him and like him... Admittedly i was upset to hear about his ex, so i didnt reply but he continued to send a string of messages....

 

More of the same mistakes you made in the first place. Ignoring messages/taking forever to reply.

 

i didnt end up replying until about 2 wks later..surprisingly he replied straightaway! i wasnt expecting a reply from him given how rude i was ignoring his last few messages.

 

Hey, I'm good at what I do (being a guy apparently haha). Question, (I feel like dwight from the office wicked) do women communicate with each other like this? Like they just won't respond to friends messages, ignore them, etc.? Like where does this behaviour come from? If you pull that **** with guys they won't consider themselves your friend.

 

My messaged picked up from where he left off..i said i could be dating if i wanted to but im not and i said good question (if i still thought about him etc) but its not important anymore because his now working things out with his ex. Wished him well and told him to keep in touch

 

he replied...joked and said i was a little late and 'hahaha im back w/my gf again. ill let u know when i messaged u i had been thinking about u etc...."

 

Not fully believing his whole "ex" drama. Not that I care. Maybe this is actually happening, maybe he just talks about it because it gets a reaction out of you? or he can gauge if you're interested or not by whether you act upset? I'm not sure. This wouldn't be something a guy tells another guy (usually) - I'm getting back with my ex. Meh we don't really do that. Like I just wouldn't care if y friend is getting back with his old girlfriend. So idk.

 

 

he said that he gets himself off thinking about me and told me how hard i make him.. i obviously didnt reply. he kept sending me a bunch of messages...he asked if i still lived at the same place and said he just walked past, he asked me to go online so we can chat...asked me if id still get together etc...

 

He's just saying I like you, lets date. He's probably trying to turn you on with this talk.

 

i didnt wanna entertain his messages so i replied and said: yh i still live there, i think u know the answer but its not important.. u have a gf. anyway, u know im always here if u need me. keep in touch...

 

was my reply ok? how would u guys take it if u got that kind of msg? i still wanna keep the friendship so i didnt wanna be cold.. have i blown it? have i completely lost him?

 

Stop being so standoffish. You shoot yourself in the foot. If you just MET him regularly you would probably be dating him, rather than all this innane internet chatter that really isn't progressing anything. The proper response to a guys invitation to hang out (if you like him) is always YES I"D LOVE TO, and then you showup. Without any bull**** about x thing came up, or the plans weren't solid, blablabla noone cares.

 

i still cant get my head around the whole exchange can anyone make it a little clearer for me?

 

i feel like im always asking the same thing but do u guys think he'll come around again? do u think id still hear from him?

 

Hopefully that makes it clear. But seriously why do girls ignore messages even if they like a guy?

[guarded]

Alright this is something that's not JUST important for when you meet a guy you want to date, it's important for ALL your friendships AND making new friends. RESPOND TO EVERY MESSAGE. I'm serious. Ignoring a message is not cool, never ever do it. I generally respond immediately because thinking about responses increases my anxiety (me having high anxiety is usually much worse than not saying the perfect thing). Think of it this way, would u ever ignore a text message from the prime minister? Probably not. Treat all your friends like that.

 

dispatch3d, thanks for making me realise what a bitch ive been! Im not really one to ignore messages, like you, I generally reply almost immediately. Stupid me just figured I needed to take a different approach to this guy. I just thought I should be playing it cool and not be so available when he messages. I mean there has been an occasion where he took a day to reply so I thought id do the same.

 

On to the second part. It sounds like you blew him off his potential meetings twice.

 

I didn’t mean to blow him off the first time, when he first asked and tried to make plans for that Tuesday I said I wasn’t too sure but id let him know…I guess I didn’t bother because I was annoyed that he didn’t bother letting me know if he was free or not over the weekend when he said he would (he said we could maybe hangout over the weekend if his place was free but it really depended on his brother’s plans. I found out later that it was his brother’s bday so he was legitimately busy).

 

The second time… well he was the one who asked if I was free on the Saturday nite.. I asked him what time so I can confirm and he said he’ll let me know but he didn’t get back to me…so wouldn’t say he flaked? I figured he had other things keeping him occupied so i left him alone and waited in the hope id hear from him again. Luckily I did! I was sooo happy to hear from him, happier to hear that he was staying for good. I wanted to show it but didn’t know how so I opted for playing it safe…

 

Not fully believing his whole "ex" drama. Not that I care. Maybe this is actually happening, maybe he just talks about it because it gets a reaction out of you? or he can gauge if you're interested or not by whether you act upset? I'm not sure. This wouldn't be something a guy tells another guy (usually) - I'm getting back with my ex. Meh we don't really do that. Like I just wouldn't care if y friend is getting back with his old girlfriend. So idk.

 

All my friends seem to think so too but I just never thought of it that way.. his msg just threw me, annoyed me and made me think.. ‘why would u bother telling me about the ex/gf and then tell me im the girl you’re thinking about and ask if id still get together?’

 

telling me he’s working things out with his ex and he’s back with her did get to me, so much more than I let on…I took forever to reply because I was upset but I don’t know if he got that?

 

He's just saying I like you, lets date. He's probably trying to turn you on with this talk.

 

Well I cant say I wasn’t flattered being inundated with compliments LOL. But really? Do you guys think he’s actually interested? Or is it just what guys do? Do you guys throw compliments even if you don’t mean it?

 

I kinda held back, after he said he was back with his ex I just thought it’d be inappropriate for me to entertain the kind of messages he was sending…if I did, wouldn’t that say a lot about me? I just didn’t wanna be that kind of girl….

 

Stop being so standoffish. You shoot yourself in the foot. If you just MET him regularly you would probably be dating him, rather than all this innane internet chatter that really isn't progressing anything. The proper response to a guys invitation to hang out (if you like him) is always YES I"D LOVE TO, and then you showup. Without any bull**** about x thing came up, or the plans weren't solid, blablabla noone cares.

 

OMG so I did screw it up?! Have I blown my chances? How do I fix it? Is it ok for me to initiate contact?

 

Did my last msg seem more like a goodbye or? How would you guys take it if you got that?

 

Hopefully that makes it clear. But seriously why do girls ignore messages even if they like a guy? .

 

Thanks dispatch3d! You certainly did open my eyes to my obvious screw ups I was completely oblivious to!

 

But im still wondering with all my stupid games will he still come around? Will I hear from him? or did I screw up with my last msg? Arrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh im sooo frustrated with myself! I don’t wanna lose him…

 

I can’t speak for anyone else but the reason why I was taking forever to reply was because I was trying too hard to play it cool and act like nothing phased me. I did it/do it thinking im doing myself a favour by avoiding the possibility of seeming ‘too interested’ and hence the possibility of pushing him away.

Edited January 27, 2011 by guarded

[Madgick1]

OMG so I did screw it up?! Have I blown my chances? How do I fix it? Is it ok for me to initiate contact?

 

You are both playing stupid games. What's all that nonsense about his exgf but he gets off on thinking about you? He's playing games too.

 

You two are going to gameplay yourselves right out of a relationship and a friendship.

 

Call him on the phone. Say, if he's interested you'd like to hang out with him; however, you are confused by all this talk about getting together with his exgf. Call him on his bluff. Tell him straight out if he's dating her, you think it's best not to contact him any more, but if he's free, you would like to take him up on his offer to go out.

 

Make him clarify.

 

If after the conversation you still end up confused and with mixed messages, leave him alone. He sounds like a lot of work. (But so do you).

[guarded]

You are both playing stupid games. What's all that nonsense about his exgf but he gets off on thinking about you? He's playing games too.

 

You two are going to gameplay yourselves right out of a relationship and a friendship.

 

Call him on the phone. Say, if he's interested you'd like to hang out with him; however, you are confused by all this talk about getting together with his exgf. Call him on his bluff. Tell him straight out if he's dating her, you think it's best not to contact him any more, but if he's free, you would like to take him up on his offer to go out.

 

Make him clarify.

 

If after the conversation you still end up confused and with mixed messages, leave him alone. He sounds like a lot of work. (But so do you).

 

Sounds easy and logical in theory but i dont have the guts to call and be upfront about it all... i guess for now it seems a litte easier to hide behind the games.

 

Soooo relieved i got a message from him a few days later, he said he woke to a dream about me and i joked and said what a coincidence lol. About a few nights later he messaged at the early hours of the morning asking if i was still awake...i didnt reply cos i was dead asleep...i havnt messaged him since.

 

Days later i walked past the store he works at with one of my guy friends (its on my way home) and i know he saw me. He was just outside the store...like the idiot that i am i walked by so fast looking like i was trying to avoid him. My friend literally stopped to check him out while i walked right by! Now im back to being paranoid and wondering if that just looked wrong and how he would've taken that? i mean if he wanted to avoid me he could've easily gone back in the store when he saw me coming right?

 

Now with my screw up, do you think he'll come around again and message or? Should i msg him? Arrrggghhhh i hate myself sometimes!

 

Guys.... help?!