murah989 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) I've got to thinking that I don't think I have a problem meeting women...at first anyway. I have a soft side for indie chicks. I feel like girls like that are so knowledgeable, sweet, cute, and very adventurous. The last girl I took out (however short it was) could be classified as all of those. I on the other hand, although I love music,art, and all things awesome, I feel like I'm dismissed by this group for some weird reason. Sometimes I get the feeling is because I don't look the part for them. I don't have any tattoos, i don't wear super skinny jeans, and I don't have a funky outlandish mustache. My failure with my last date makes me think a lot. I feel like a lot of the lack of chemistry came from my insecurities of not " looking the part" for her. I guess you can say I was a little intimidated lol. Has anyone else felt like this? I don't want to start wearing super skinny jeans just to attract the women I like the most. Edited December 28, 2010 by murah989
shayan Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 never change yourself to be with anyone, this is a mistake. Trying to impress and seek validation from girls is one of the least attractive things you can do. Instead become confident being yourself, and I'm sure you'll even be able to break through to these indie chicks. Man I'm 22 and I feel old cause I just call em girls.
denise_xo Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I've got to thinking that I don't think I have a problem meeting women...at first anyway. I have a soft side for indie chicks. I feel like girls like that are so knowledgeable, sweet, cute, and very adventurous. The last girl I took out (however short it was) could be classified as all of those. I on the other hand, although I love music,art, and all things awesome, I feel like I'm dismissed by this group for some weird reason. Sometimes I get the feeling is because I don't look the part for them. I don't have any tattoos, i don't wear super skinny jeans, and I don't have a funky outlandish mustache. My failure with my last date makes me think a lot. I feel like a lot of the lack of chemistry came from my insecurities of not " looking the part" for her. I guess you can say I was a little intimidated lol. Has anyone else felt like this? I don't want to start wearing super skinny jeans just to attract the women I like the most. I don't know how old you are, but I felt like that when I was young (teenager/very early 20s). What I realised after a while is that a) all people are just people regardless of the packaging, and b) those who place too much attention on external identity markers often end up being a bit shallow, at least for my taste. So I agree with shayan, be yourself and don't play silly 'have to wear particular trousers' games to engage a girl. You wear what YOU want to wear, and don't act like these girls are doing you a favour by hanging out with you.
Yer_Blues Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 never change yourself to be with anyone, this is a mistake. Trying to impress and seek validation from girls is one of the least attractive things you can do.. 100% true. Been there, done that, felt like an idiot afterwards. It might work for only the youngest of girls, but at a certain point, they seem to pick real confidence from fake/forced gestures with ease. All you will do by trying to superficially change yourself in the short term is make it clear that you are doing so. They typically look down on you and see you as desperate or insecure from that point on, which is just another way of saying they'll never be interested. This is why PUA suggestions tend to be worthless and perpetuate further problems. Unless somebody actually buys into the BS strongly and develops a swagger of their own, they will come off as an actor that is trying too hard.
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