ashleysun Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I need a little advice on a "newer" relationship... I met a guy a few months back, I was out of town in his hometown (about 3.5 hrs away from my town) and we hit it off instantly. I gave him my number and it was a go from there. I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship and I had gotten my heart broken in the end, he had just gotten out of a serious relationship as well. We talked for a few weeks, during that time, my feelings for my ex boyfriend were as strong as ever so I told him that I was not over my ex at that point. He was understanding and respected what I told him. We still talked off and on but he ended up getting very overbearing and I eventually told him it might be wise to stop talking all together. Fast forward to 1.5 months later - he started talking to me again, treading lightly, first with an email. When we talked more and more I eventually told him that I would be in town a few weeks later and he asked to see me, I agreed. We spent alot of time together that weekend and I actually developed feelings for him. From there on out, we spent alot of time texting, calling, emailing, etc. I could almost calculuate the times he would call (and would always text when he was out w/friends or at work). He came to see me a few times and I went to see him a few more times, I thought things were great!! I last saw him 2 weeks ago and he actually asked me to be his girlfriend, but he was SEVERLY intoxicated at that point, so I didn't take it seriously, I didn't know if he meant it or even would remember it. I said we could talk about it sober. Last week his contact level dropped - he would text and then be very slow to reply (if any reply). I was confused as to why and asked him, he said "I've just been really busy is all". I told him how this is not the route to go if he doesn't want to eventually push me away (I had to tell him this a few times) and he tells me he cares and thinks about me alot. I have no idea what is going on, if he was "just busy" how is it that he doesn't have time after work to call like he once did?? We have a mutual friend, whom he talks to alot about me and she said just a few days ago he was texting her about how he is nervous that I might be mad at him for whatever reason and that he REALLY likes me. Yet he is hardly contacting me. Maybe he really does think I"m mad at him and isn't replying but we are in our late 20s, why avoid the confrontation if this is the case? I would appreciate some insight....
aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 Maybe he doesn't want to seem "overbearing" once more. Some people don't know how to find a medium when it comes to communication on their own. Especially when the level they started out with is shot down initially. Tell him you want more communication.
Shannyn8877 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 This is a hard one. It is hard for girls and guys to understand what each others thinking because girls and guys think SO differently. Just take your time and don't push anything. The chips will fall where they are supposed to. If he knows you are interested and you know he is interested it will work out. Just make sure you guys keep the line of communication really open. LDRs are hard to make work and communication is a big factor. You both need to be open with each other evenly. Keep that in mind too!! Best of luck. Keep your chin up.
Karma20 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I had a LDR and they are very difficult to maintain. It takes a lot of effort on both parts. When my ex's contact level dropped it was because he was losing feelings for me. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but I'm just being honest. Every situation and person is difference though.
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