jcrdnf Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 I have know this man for 8 years, all of which he has been interested in me but we never did anything because he was married. We have worked together for years until recently when I got laid off. Now he is recently seperated and we have been together for 3 months now. He has only been seperated for 4 months so we jumped right into it. Everything is great between us, but of course, she will not let me be near the kids at all. On the other hand, he hangs out with my son. So, he tells me the other day that boyfriends turn into husbands. He says that he doesnt want to give this opportunity up because we have waited for so long, but hes just confused on what he wants. WOW, I was not looking for that one. I am not sure Im ready for marriage muchless him being ready again. So we decided to take it oneday at a time. Now everyday I feel like "Is today going to be the day he breaks up with me"? He hates the fact that he has to live two seperate lives when he has his kids but he is respecting his x. I cant complain because I would feel the same way if it were my husband. I just need to know, do I give him space and time to figure things out while I stand by him at the same time? Do i tell him to figure out what he wants and call me then? Do I just be paient and let things work themselves out? I adore him and he does me also but if hes confused and Im ready, then what do I do?
damascus Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 You have to remember that he's just gotten out of a marriage - his world is changing and he needs time to come to terms with it. Absolutely give him the space and time to adjust. Think of the major adjustments in your own life and think back to how you dealt with them... Will he break up with you? There's no way of knowing but, being patient and understanding will minimize the chances of that. People need time to figure things out. The fact you've known each other for years bodes well, as is the way he treats and respects his ex - its better to be with someone responsible and respectful after all because that is the treatment that you too can expect.
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