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When is jealousy too much?


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Posted

My ex and I broke up about 5 months ago, and I'm not trying to win her back. Just trying to learn for the future. I would like some opinions on whether her jealousy was too much.

 

We were together for 2 years, and I never once looked at another woman. I have a very outgoing personality and when we first met my ex thought I was very charming, witty, confident, secure.

 

A few times in the 2 years we were together the following happened. She would try to get my on the phone, and couldn't for some reason. Usually because I was busy. One Sun morn. she called at home, but I had run to the store for a minute. When I called her back she accused me of not having been home because had spent the night with another woman. There were a few other incidents like this where I might also get a nasty email accusing me of cheating.

 

Mind you, as much as I think about it I just can't find a reason for her to have felt that way. I was never sneaking text msgs to others behind her back, and I never had anything to hide.

 

How much jealousy should I be willing to take as I start dating other woman?

Posted

Sounds like she was bored, and needed to generate some drama. That is a pretty big red flag, and I wouldn't take much of that in future relationships.

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Posted

This wasn't just drama, she truly believed I was/could mess around.

Posted

How much jealousy should I be willing to take as I start dating other woman?

 

Only about as much as is rational. Her jealousy was irrational. She exhibited some major trust issues and massive insecurities. IMO, it's fine for jealousy to creep into a relationship here or there.

 

If you ever find out that a girl in the future may be unreasonably jealous, just ask yourself "What would Love Shack say?" If the answer is "Yes, she is being unreasonable", then you know what level of jealousy is just right.

 

Jealousy, when communicated, can bring people together. When jealousy supersedes trust, you have a major problem.

Posted

That level of jealousy is totally unreasonable. If I call my BF and he doesn't pick up, I have never once thought "OH SH*T he is obviously with another girl!" That's just crazy.

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Posted

Thanks guys! Guess I already knew that, but it's nice to have confirmation. Boy, I tell you- communication is SO important. Even a therapist has told me that (for a man) I'm really good at it, and open to it. Now if I could just find a woman who appreciates that, and is also willing to communicate :)

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