ginastar Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 so does anyone know how long it takes to get over a guy that you dated for a long time and is with someone else now?
Stilicho Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 im not sure, but id like to ask the same thing about my ex girlfirend.....
USMCHokie Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 This isn't a question anyone can answer for you, because the timeline is different for everybody. Just take it a day at a time and don't put a deadline on getting over him.
rhonian Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 8 months, 4 days and 16 hours......J/K! Now, you know, noone can give you the answer to that question. It depends on the relationship and the person trying to get over their ex. The best piece of advice I can give you is, the quicker YOU can focus on YOU the quicker the pain stops. Although, right now, today, Iam not practicing what I preach. Im stuck in this hole and refuse to pull myself out of it. My wheels are spinning 24/7 and I sit between these 4 walls all by myself and dont want anyone around. Im withdrawing, alienating myself from family, my phone rings but its not the person who I want calling, calling! My ex-ex keeps texting me and Im getting angry because I shes not the one I want to hear from.
Fern Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 For me, the first 8 weeks were horrendous. It gets better after that. I'm 5 months out of my relationship now and I'm doing SO much better. A friend of mine had her fiancee leave her for another woman a few years ago and she said it took her 6 months to stop thinking about it all the time (although the debilitating pain recedes quicker) and about 9 months to feel 'over' it. She's now in a much better relationship and her ex is married to the girl he cheated on her with - and cheating on her every weekend. Lucky escape all round. You'll heal quicker if you can let go of the hope and keep strictly NC.
rhonian Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Also, I heard awhile back.....for every year you are with someone it takes a month to get over them. 1yr = 1 month 2yr = 2 months 3yr = 3 months........and so on.
USMCHokie Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Also, I heard awhile back.....for every year you are with someone it takes a month to get over them. 1yr = 1 month 2yr = 2 months 3yr = 3 months........and so on. That seems a little short...the more common one I've heard is half the time of the actual relationship...e.g., 2 year relationship = 1 year to get over it... But I still firmly stand by my statement that you should not put a timeline on your healing...
january2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 It took me five months for a 10+ years relationship but the closure didn't really happen until the transition relationship I had at the four-month mark ended. Oh, and due to financial ties and living situations, I went LC rather than NC with the LTR ex. It really is a 'how long is a piece of string' type question and thus the answers will reflect that.
Breakupguy12 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 It all depends on the situation and people involved.
2010_Sorry Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Oh goodness... please don't say that it's half of the length of the relationship! That would mean I have 4 years and 9 months of this left! Ugh....
Good Arms Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I may not have much experience but I can already see those formulae like "it takes x months to recover from a y month relationship" are ridiculous. Everyone's different, some will recover and move on sooner than others, and the circumstances of each relationship & break-up are different. I'm over 5 weeks into my break-up, from a 2.5 month relationship, and I'm still feeling at rock bottom. By that formula I've seen mentioned elsewhere, I should be over it by now! Just try and find hope that all advice I've been given has reassured me that things will get better. You just can't expect to know how quickly you'll heal. I recommend reading up on all the advice on what you can do to help yourself heal, and hopefully we'll all get there...
NeNinja Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I don't want to post here and say the same thing that everyone else has already told you...but they are right. There is no equation to figure out how long til you feel better. You'll just wake up one morning and realize you haven't thought about him/her for a day or two...then a week...then a month... I've been out of my 2.5 year relationship for two weeks and NC for 10 days. I'm not over her but I'm over the relationship.
soleharmony1123 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 8 months, 4 days and 16 hours......J/K! Now, you know, noone can give you the answer to that question. It depends on the relationship and the person trying to get over their ex. The best piece of advice I can give you is, the quicker YOU can focus on YOU the quicker the pain stops. Although, right now, today, Iam not practicing what I preach. Im stuck in this hole and refuse to pull myself out of it. My wheels are spinning 24/7 and I sit between these 4 walls all by myself and dont want anyone around. Im withdrawing, alienating myself from family, my phone rings but its not the person who I want calling, calling! My ex-ex keeps texting me and Im getting angry because I shes not the one I want to hear from. I've been there. Today, my phone rang and my son answered the phone - he came rushing from the kitchen to give me the phone. I thought it was my Ex, but instead it was my ex-ex calling from Jamaica who I haven't spoken to since earlier in the fall. Although it was nice to hear from him, I was quite irritated because it wasn't the Ex. I think he picked up on my irritation.
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