Mir Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Hello all, I have been married to my husband for 3 years, we have been together almost 6. Ever since we have got married, things have gone downhill. My husband has severe anger problems and will not even attempt to sort them. For the past few months in particular I have considered leaving, but this morning my husband took out his anger on my cat and now I am at the end of my tether. I have suggested all sorts. Marriage counselling, anger management, you name it. He always brushes these ideas off and says that I have the problem. I said to him if he doesn't get his anger issues sorted, then he is out the door. He told me it should be me who leaves, since he pays the rent etc. I am currently unemployed due to being made redundant, and I have no income of my own. I feel helpless, like I can't get out of this situation. I have no money and no place to stay. I do not think this marriage can be reconciled as I have tried many times before. I am losing all feelings for him and it's horrible. This is not the man I met. Are there any sort of organisations or anyone who could help me? I am in the UK. I need to leave the marital home, but I honestly can't see how with no funds. I'm desperate and need to do something. Thank you.
january2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I am so sorry that you're going through this. If there are no friends and family you can stay with, you can try calling Shelter on 0808 800 4444 who can give you details of your nearest refuge and also provide you with advice on what to do. There's also Women's Aid 0808 2000 247 who can also advise you on services in your area. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Please come back to post if you need to.
BlindRage Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Hello all, I have been married to my husband for 3 years, we have been together almost 6. Ever since we have got married, things have gone downhill. My husband has severe anger problems and will not even attempt to sort them. For the past few months in particular I have considered leaving, but this morning my husband took out his anger on my cat and now I am at the end of my tether. I have suggested all sorts. Marriage counselling, anger management, you name it. He always brushes these ideas off and says that I have the problem. I said to him if he doesn't get his anger issues sorted, then he is out the door. He told me it should be me who leaves, since he pays the rent etc. I am currently unemployed due to being made redundant, and I have no income of my own. I feel helpless, like I can't get out of this situation. I have no money and no place to stay. I do not think this marriage can be reconciled as I have tried many times before. I am losing all feelings for him and it's horrible. This is not the man I met. Are there any sort of organisations or anyone who could help me? I am in the UK. I need to leave the marital home, but I honestly can't see how with no funds. I'm desperate and need to do something. Thank you. I'm thinking once you divorce someone and prove that you don't work to keep the household running then you can receive alimony from your former spouse. You can also get a good lawyer and get half his stuff (isn't that what most people do anyways). Also, try to get a job to support yourself and your expenses after this.
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Do you have any family or friends to whom you could turn, and ask them for help? Promise them that you want to get onto your own two feet...maybe they could also support you emotionally, by helping you contact the right people? The Citizen's Advice Bureau is a really good place to start. They can provide you with contacts, addresses and information on your rights and what is available to you. Be pro-active. I realise you feel desperate, but channel this desperation and motivate yourself to get yourself out of this rut. Go to a jobcentre and see what's going. take anything menial to begin with, even if it's just to get some money and give yourself a baseline of security. And if necessary, find a temporary home for your cat. If you can't afford to keep yourself going for now, you need someone's help to look after your pet, too. I'm in the UK as well. So I'm rooting for you.
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