nyr81 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I've been dating my girlfriend for just under 2 months. But I'm beginning to have doubts. I like her alot but I'm not physically attracted to her like I am other women. If I'm thinking about ways of breaking this off this is not a good sign right? But again I love her personality and she's a terrific person. Very confused on how to proceed. Advise?
USMCHokie Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I've been dating my girlfriend for just under 2 months. But I'm beginning to have doubts. I like her alot but I'm not physically attracted to her like I am other women. If I'm thinking about ways of breaking this off this is not a good sign right? But again I love her personality and she's a terrific person. Very confused on how to proceed. Advise? Proceed out the door.
lovebitme Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Proceed out the door. Yes, proceed out the door. I'm not saying that for your sake, but for the sake of your g/f. I'd tell you to stick it out and try to fall in love with HER and not her looks but that wouldn't be fair to her if you string her along and eventually dump her. If her looks aren't doing it for you now then it's only going to get worse. I doubt she'll magically turn pretty to you. Some people might get past the looks part but if you don't think you can then you have to end it in all fairness.
sigurpol Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I've been dating my girlfriend for just under 2 months. But I'm beginning to have doubts. I like her alot but I'm not physically attracted to her like I am other women. If I'm thinking about ways of breaking this off this is not a good sign right? But again I love her personality and she's a terrific person. Very confused on how to proceed. Advise? If it's not coming naturally, or if anything is becoming forced so early on (the first few months should be a blast), then I would call it quits.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Get out now. There would come a point where you cant stand to look at her, kiss her, or see her face in the morning. Break it off now before she gets attached.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I recommend staying. worse comes to worse, you could just cheat on her when the horny, hot chick inevitably throws you a glance.
callingyouuu Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I'm not physically attracted to her like I am other women. There's your problem... Proceed out the door. ...and there's your solution. Do it for her sake and for yours.
Author nyr81 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Posted December 29, 2010 I understand everything that everyone has said. The problem is when? I don't want to be a dick and seem heartless because it is the holiday season. Then, here birthday is in mid-January, then of course followed by Valentine's Day after that. Would it be wrong to wait until after then?
SmileFace Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 Why wait she is going to have to deal with the hurt either way. Not saying you intentionally mean to hurt her. You can't help the fact that you aren't attracted to her. So it is best for both of you . Get out now .
Karma20 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I understand everything that everyone has said. The problem is when? I don't want to be a dick and seem heartless because it is the holiday season. Then, here birthday is in mid-January, then of course followed by Valentine's Day after that. Would it be wrong to wait until after then? Don't stay without someone out of guilt, you're look like a bigger d!ck doing that. Leading someone on is cruel.
Karma20 Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 My last comment made it sound like I thought you were a d!ck. I don't mean you're a d!ck for breaking up with her if you do it now but you would be if you lead her on under false pretenses.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 It's only been two months. She should be able to handle it. If she can't, then she's a weakling and needs to grow up, in which case you're doing her a favor.
LifeIsGreat Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 2 months is not long, so let it go now. Experience: My last GF was not really attracted to me (not that I"m bad, just not her usual type). She stuck it out for almost 2 years trying!!!! Beleive me, I would have rathered her just admitt it (or make up something else) very early in the relationship. (there were other factors, but you can't underestimate the need for attraction). Now I have a woman interested in my that I'm not attracted to. On paper, she's great! I just don't feel that attraction. I'm manning up, and not getting with her.
love4me2c Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 I don't know. I generally think that people's attractiveness increases in the eyes of the lover over time. At least my boyfriend tells me I'm more beautiful now than when we first met and that I'm more beautiful as time goes on to him. If you are not finding that to be true, then there are probably other issues there. If there are other issues that are keeping you from seeing her beauty, I agree with others that you should break it off. Curious though, how did you initially start things with her if you are so unattracted to her physically?
Author nyr81 Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but she was cute. She's a great person and fun to be with but the doubts have crept in recently as I'm not finding myself physically attracted to her as we get closer. A part of me is wishing to get beyond this animal aspect of myself because she is a great person. This decision to perhaps break it off is weighing heavily on me.
Girlygirl1977 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Out of curiosity, does it also mean that you have less desire to have sex with her?
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 If you're not personally drawn to her, attracted to her, digging her, and wanting to show affection, kiss, have sex, etc, with her because she just isn't doing it for you, yes, break up with her. If you were attracted to her but you now intellectually decided she's not "pretty" enough (by some external standard), or that you're not sure she's the prettiest you can get. . . that's different. That's immature stuff that, if it plagues you, you're always better letting go of. But if you aren't feeling it --- really, who you are, and the chemistry isn't flowing --- then there's no use staying. As for timing, if her birthday is mid-January do it now if you're sure. I wouldn't do it within a few days of her birthday, and certainly not ON her birthday, but that's far enough away. After all, it's only been two months.
Author nyr81 Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I would like to still be friends. I'm figuring that since its only been 2 months that we can still legitimately be friends..unlike long term relationships that end where it is nearly impossible to stay friends.
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I would like to still be friends. I'm figuring that since its only been 2 months that we can still legitimately be friends..unlike long term relationships that end where it is nearly impossible to stay friends. You never know. Personally, I never stayed friends with a STR, but I am more friend-like (it's not exactly a "friendship" I guess, but you have mutual caring that doesn't go away) with all my LTRs. That doesn't mean you can't stay friends. I've seen it happen. It really depends on her feelings, which you won't know. Either way, breaking with her is the right thing to do, if you don't dig her.
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