I need some direction.. Is she still into me or is this just a game ?

[eeazee]

I feel so much regrets in my heart, ending a 1year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I ended our relationship because I felt it was the best thing to do at that point. I was going thru alot at that point (like unstable job, financial issues, we had silly arguments, I got angry easily, I wasn't in good terms with my siblings) and I felt it won't be fair to string her along, while I know I dont have the capacity to give her all my love, attention and even getting married in the future. I didnt want to hurt her.

 

We spoke a week after the break, and agreed we should both take things slow, so I can fix up myself and then we can continue our relationship. She then called me a week later saying she is not interested anymore.

 

After 3 months, I'm still feeling the consequences of my decision. Sometimes I feel so depressed. Sometimes I feel so lonely, Sometimes I can't even sleep at night and Sometimes I just hate myself so much for what I did. All I needed was a little time apart to just spend sometime alone to figure out my issues.

 

I've missed her so much and I've tried my best possible to beg her and even asked friends to help beg her. But she says no, that she has moved on.

 

I've accepted the fact the she has moved on but I am trying my best to heal from it.

 

So this holiday, i've travelled to somewhere far to have fun and also forget about everything. I recently updated my status on facebook, she sent a message saying she doesn't like it and also she said I never sent her a message to wish her a merry christmas.

 

Please what is she trying to do here.. cuz i dont want to play these games.... She said she has moved on but why is she so concerned about me and the things i do...

 

I still have feelings for her... I cannot lie about that.

 

But this is unlike me, I never felt this way with my previous relationships. But with her, it's just different.I feel so incomplete, I still feel we have an unfinished business. I still feel their's something left.. It's just weird..

[durkadurka]

She doesn't like the fact you aren't suffering. That, my friend, is not someone who cares about you.

[aerogurl87]

If you have to ask this question, then more than likely she's just playing games. When someone really wants you back they make it VERY clear. Move on.

[eeazee]

Thanks guys.. will do

[Nightsky]

She’s playing games, but you started when you dumped her only to beg she take you back.

[paleblue]

I think she is messing with you.

[DustySaltus]

I don't think it makes sense for you to be in a relationship right now. I know that you regret your decision but you HAVE to be happy with yourself OUTSIDE of the relationship before you can be happy with anyone else. Even if she wanted to be in your life again, the other issues would still exist. Do you think you'd be able to work all of this out at the same time?

 

Or do you want her back just to see if you could get her back? Forget how she is acting, this is about you. There's a reason why you made this decision. It's reasonable to question it over and over again. But you don't move forward by traveling in circles...You have to take a step back and understand that there will be some back and forth after a breakup. But what do you think this unfinished business is?

[eeazee]

Sometimes i feel i still gat something to prove to her. Like taking care of her more, loving her endlessly n proving to her that I gat some much love for her. Every day I still have memories of her written all over my brain.

[january2010]

She's turned the tables on you. That's why you feel the way that you do.

 

Probably the 'best' revenge for a dumpee is to make the dumper feel like they were the ones who got dumped.

 

Your best chance to get out of this scenario is to go full NC (delete and block). She may come back. She may not. But it's in your best interest in move on with your life and put a stop to this toing and froing. Otherwise, you're going to spend however many months/years going round in circles.

[DustySaltus]

Sometimes i feel i still gat something to prove to her. Like taking care of her more, loving her endlessly n proving to her that I gat some much love for her. Every day I still have memories of her written all over my brain.

 

The last time I felt that I needed to "prove" my love to someone it cost me thousands of dollars, me moving halfway across the world, almost losing my job and a year of my mental health that I could've spent more constructively on myself. And it STILL wasn't enough. I agree with January, you have to go full NC and block...cold turkey. It's the only way you're going to move forward. Resist all urges to contact her because they will become stronger as she sees you moving further away. You want to move forward, right?

[Nightsky]

“Hot Tub Time Machine” is one heck of a movie. John Cusack’s character dumps his girlfriend for some lame reason in the original time line. When reliving the moment he changes history yet the results are the same, she dumps him.

[LifeIsGreat]

Probably the 'best' revenge for a dumpee is to make the dumper feel like they were the ones who got dumped.

 

I agree with this. Most dumpers, at some point, try to make contact with us. If you have decided that this is not the relationship you want, go COMPLETE NC!! Sometimes the dumper wants you to help them with closure-- don't give it to them, only they can give themselves closure and since you aren't together anymore you owe the dumper nothing. Don't be a door mat. When you go NC, the dumper WILL feel dumped (a side benefit of NC).

[eeazee]

The last time I felt that I needed to "prove" my love to someone it cost me thousands of dollars, me moving halfway across the world, almost losing my job and a year of my mental health that I could've spent more constructively on myself. And it STILL wasn't enough. I agree with January, you have to go full NC and block...cold turkey. It's the only way you're going to move forward. Resist all urges to contact her because they will become stronger as she sees you moving further away. You want to move forward, right?

 

Yes I want to move forward, I will go full NC and see how that goes. Please are their suggestion on how to forget an ex.... like things to do to get rid of the thought.

[PowerOfOne]

I was lucky enough to get my dream job a couple of days before we broke up. I dived right into that. Then i picked 3 big things i want to acheive in the new year and how i was going to do it.

 

That and complete NC... each to their own though. But for me it's allllll about focusing on what I wanted in life.

[eeazee]

What do I do if she sends me a random message ?

 

Should I ignore it or just reply in a simple way without attaching any emotion to it.

[PowerOfOne]

It depends on the stage you're at i suppose. If it was me at best I'd reply in a matter-of-factly way. No emotion and I wouldn't leave it open for her to reply. But that's me and it would depend on the msg and how i was feeling at the time. Some days I manage to convince myself that I don't want her or need her in my life.

 

Other days.... well, lets just say on those days I wouldn't reply at all.

[eeazee]

So guys, i broke the NC on New Year Eve when I called to wish a happy new year. I was in a very good mood, so I did. But it was very brief and She appreciated it. As a religious girl and someone who takes the christian religion seriously, she asked if I was going to church on New years eve. I told her am not, that I am going out to bar. She then sent me a long text message telling me how important it is to start the New Year at the church instead of partying heavily.

 

Saw the text messages but I ignored it. So she called today but I Ignored the call. She left a voice message, saying she was calling to find out if I went to church and If dn't respond to her calls and txt messages, that she will keep calling me.

 

Please Guys, am so tempted to call but I need your advice on what to do.

Is this still a game... How do I make her want me more ?

Cuz I still love her.....

[LifeIsGreat]

Well, you kinda made it a game when you contacted her on NYE- didn't you? I can't understand why you would open the door of communication, and when she steps through it slam it in her face by not responding.

 

I'm not sure why you are asking for advice on whether to reply since it appears you have already decided to reply (otherwise why would you have contacted her NYE).

 

Every situation is different, but you need to decide if yours requires permanent or temporary NC and then stick with one of those. You are going to drive yourself crazy (and it's not nice to her) by vacillating between approaches.

[eeazee]

Here is a link to my previous post ------

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258475/

 

So my ex gf found out am friend's with her sister's bestfriend. I am not dating this girl or even intending on dating this girl, we are just friends - we met at a party and exchanged contacts, Until I recently discovered she had a link with my ex.

 

So my ex gf sent me a text today telling me that she heard i was dating this girl, that she didn't expect such from me and she doesn't want me to be friends with anybody in her cycle. That I should respect her.

 

I got really pissed and told her, first and foremost, I am not dating this girl and even If I was dating this girl is non of her business and I can choose to communicate or be friends with anybody I want to. I personally have no intention of dating this girl and am not trying to cause any problem.

 

We had a dissagreement over it and secondly she said she still wants to be my friend. I told her is very difficult for us to be friends right now, as I am still healing from our break up - that we should give ourselves some time out before being friends again. She said no, it's either we are friends or not. I then told her, so be it. Cuz we cannot be friends at this point.

 

She later sent me an email tonight, saying.....

"...I think we need to sit down and talk as two adults. Not about friendship, and pls this has nothing to do with my sista's friend. But to talk and find out the cause of why we are truly not getting along.

 

As much as I want to hate you, I cant because that’s like destroying someone that I once loved. But at the same time if you know you’re not doing all of this out of vengeance, then you will take me up on this offer of sitting and talking as two adults.

 

Not about the fight, but more of understanding each other. Because truly, you say one thing but I hear another thing outside about how you really do feel. "

I still have feelings for her but I don't wanna be drawn into anything if it's not real, cuz I hate playing games.Please is she trying to mess with my brain or what ?..... What do I do ? I need your suggestions

[aerogurl87]

She's definitely trying to mess with your head. She probably wants to be friends so she'll keep you in love with her longer. Some people derive pleasure out of having someone chase them and laugh about it in their face. KEEP NC!