Christy53 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Hi, My boyfriend of eight years asked for his space recently. He said he wanted to take a break so he could work on some of the things in his life. He has had some medical cond to deal with in the last year and his kids are not happy that he is dating. I think the kids thought he and their mom would end up back together and they are hurt that it isn't going to happen. They said they would hate anyone that he dated. They are in the late teens. I think the statement that they would hate anyone he married is bothering him a great deal. He even said that he couldn't have his kids hate him. It is extremely hard to give him space. We have gone through so much together, but I don't know what to do. I worry that his asking to have space and take a break will end up with we are over conversation. I don't know if I can handle that. I believe he is my soulmate. Does this get any better? Is it normal to take breaks at this point in the relationship? How do I make sure that he doesn't forget me during this time? I'm so lost.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 (edited) Theres plenty to worry about. Apparently you either havent used the space/break line, or havent had it used on you. He is breaking up with you and shamefully using his kids as the excuse. A break usually means a breakup. He wont tell you the real reason he is breaking up with you. Its because of something he doesnt like about you, but he's too chicken to tell you. You better break it off with him now and call him out on it. No one needs space from someone who they think is a soulmate after 8 years. You better get the real reason out of him and then find out if he's been seeing someone else, or find out if he's been acting unusual lately. Edited December 27, 2010 by Eddie Edirol
PegNosePete Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I worry that his asking to have space and take a break will end up with we are over conversation. Yeah sorry to say, it most likely will. I believe he is my soulmate. Unfortunately it doesn't seem as though he reciprocates this belief. Is it normal to take breaks at this point in the relationship? Nope it is not normal to take breaks at any point in a healthy relationship. Sorry to say that he is breaking up with you, and either trying to be gentle to you, or is too much of a wuss to do it properly. If he had any kind of backbone or desire to stay with you then he would tell his kids that his choice of partner is nothing to do with them. IMO it's setting quite a bad example to allow them to dictate his relationship choices. He's either a complete wuss for not standing up for himself, or he doesn't feel strongly enough for you.
AbsoluteSucker Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 I don't necessarily think that all hope is lost, and anytime kids are involved it's complicated. The best thing you can do is give him his space and wait to see what happens, don't push him. Many of the experiences here relate to significant others who left because they had a GIGS moment or met someone else. It sounds like he has quite a bit going on in his life and really just needs some time to sort things out. I can't honestly say its all going to work out as you hope, but all is not lost in the relationship. If you really want to give this a chance, respect his wishes, post here when you need to vent, wait until he contacts you and be there for him if you still want to. After 8 years he won't forget you, whatever happens, you can handle it, and no matter how hard it gets, most people here have been through something similar and are surviving. There is no such thing as a normal relationship, it's a serious of ups and downs and figuring things out.
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