paddington bear Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 so...been thinking of my never-ending relegated to the friendzone status...not good as a woman. and mentioned it to a friend today and she said "you have quite a strong personality, and you know how men are, they like the little woman thing" which reminded me of some article in a woman's mag that I read once. Life and soul of the party girl would go out with quiet friend. Friendly, approachable life and soul of the party girl would draw the guys in...but they all wanted to know more about mystery, quiet friend. Intrigued by her. So the writer did an experiment, found a chatty and fun female friend to go out with, while she sat there and smiled, but said little...and suddenly it was she who was the mystery person, intriguing the men. Thoughts on this? I think my personality is great for attracting new friends. I make them easily and tend to keep them....but...conversely, this is NOT working regarding men. Initially interested, then lose interest. Think I'm too open...not enough mystery. What do you guys think? And...can one change your inherent personality...or at least tweak it a bit? Or should you just say 'to hell with is, this is how I am, take it or leave it?'. I'm beginning to think that since how I interact with men has not been working that something needs to change...like shutting the hell up and nodding and smiling...
january2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I'm beginning to think that since how I interact with men has not been working that something needs to change...like shutting the hell up and nodding and smiling... Then you wouldn't be your authentic self.
Author paddington bear Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Then you wouldn't be your authentic self. I went to a party recently and the host said "thank God you came, I told everyone that there is this really funny girl coming" which, yes, that is great and complimentary... But...while people have fun with me and vice versa...my 'authentic self' leads to being seen as a buddy all the time...even though I dress femininely, long hair all that going on... and also, obviously I am not like that all the time, can be solitary and introverted, so I guess people only see one side of me and that is the fun, buddy, ha ha side. Men don't find that sexy I think
january2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 What happened to the girl who wrote this post where I honestly have never, ever in my life had so many men after me. <snip> In any case, I have come to the conclusion that if you appear fun and approachable that is way more sexy than sitting there trying to be sultry and pouty. If you are genuinely fun and have a mischievous glint in your eye, people want to be with you, you personally are where the party is at. When I read the other post, I thought, "you go, girl!"
daphne Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 like shutting the hell up and nodding and smiling... Depends on how much talking you do initially. But to a certain degree I agree with a little of that. It does keep them guessing.
Author paddington bear Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 What happened to the girl who wrote this post where When I read the other post, I thought, "you go, girl!" hahaha! yes but...strangely that was different. Fun in a non-conversational way I suppose. Can one be fun and mysterious at the same time??? Perhaps. Mischievous glint is different to spilling out your life story in a funny manner....hmmm, perhaps I am slowly getting to the bottom of this...middle ground
january2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Can one be fun and mysterious at the same time??? Perhaps. Mischievous glint is different to spilling out your life story in a funny manner....hmmm, perhaps I am slowly getting to the bottom of this...middle ground I think you can be both at the same time. But yes, middle ground sounds good.
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