lenny Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Hi all, a bit of background here. I've been with this amazing guy for not quite six months. Thing have been going good. We spend about 4 nights a week at each other's place and they are serious enough we took each other to the family christmas gatherings. About a week and a half ago things got pretty weird as I turned into quite the nut case after my dog got hit by a car (and died) and I was a complete basket case for about a week before snapping out of it and being normal again. Sex was all the time at first and then gradually has slowed down to a point where we were intimate a few times a week. We haven't made love now in over a week. Last night we exchanged gifts and included in his gifts to me was a really sappy card with his house key. In the middle of the night, I woke up from a nightmare (never get them) and went to him for snuggles. We were laying there not having a serious talk or anything when out of the blue he tells me he's been slowing down the sex on purpose because our relationship moved really fast and sex was a major part of it (we got together from a one night stand) and we never really did the dating thing to get to know each other and that I shouldn't feel like he's not attracted to me or anything because he really is and he really enjoys being with me and doing things with me. My response was so ... you're evaluating us right now then to which he agreed saying he wanted to try and figure out what he feels about me without sex clouding things. I thought some more on this and then said to him that what that sounds like to me is that he really is losing his attraction to me and is evaluating whether to stay with me or not. He got pretty emphatic on that isn't it at all, that he loves me, loves having sex with me, and loves spending time with me. He then went on to say how he hasn't stayed in a relationship with anyone longer than 3 months in 8 years and that the last couple weeks were pretty intense and he didn't know what to do (he was amazing trying to help me with the dog thing by the way). I'm pretty sure this is now the beginning to the end. We know each other really well as we spend lots of time together (sex is just a small part of it) so I don't understand what this slowing things down is supposed to accomplish. I'm super confused as to why if he's doing this evaluation of us he'd chose the same day he makes this confession to give me a house key. Anyone have any insight to this?
lesoiseaux Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I wouldn't overanalyze it. My bf and I got together after what was sort of a one-night stand, and after a bit of time I wanted to stop having sex so that I could determine whether or not the relationship was based solely on sex and see where it was going. Clearly he wants to be with you -- he supported you while you were a "complete basket case," you visited each other's families for the holidays, and he gave you a nice card with his house key. I think things are going fine...if anything, it's an indication he wants to become more serious.
Enema Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 It's weird to move backwards, but I'd take him at his word. If he's reevaluating the relationship he wouldn't have given you the house key, he'd be distancing himself. If I were you, I'd be naughty and turn him on so much he couldn't take it anymore.
Seamless74 Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) I would think at this point it would probably be natural for the sex to wane somewhat..especially with you two starting out immediately with it.. How old is he?? I can gurantee you this though he definately doesnt mean exactly what he said.. Matter of fact anytime a guy says something like that it means something else... yup we do it too. You guys had any fights lately?? Edited December 28, 2010 by Seamless74
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