God I need to remove him from Facebook

[Eclipse11]

My ex and I are still friends on facebook, we broke up a month ago

It was all quiet until Christmas, I was healing and moving on

Now everything seems crappy again - my mutual friends saw him and said he seemed like he was doing fine, now a mutual girl whom we know ( who he saw with some other people on christmas eve ) is saying she likes his posts on facebook and he's saying he likes hers

 

In addition to this, I've been in contact since he wished me happy christmas on christmas day and I'm feeling the same feelings of powerlessness and hurt as before we broke up

 

I broke up with him - but even though I am the dumper, I broke up with him because he hurt me, everybody now thinks he is a great guy, is giving him tons of sympathy and even though I'm the dumper and everyone thinks we should be fine, looking at facebook made me cry when I saw him and this girl

 

I just want to delete him and move on right now - it's hurting me!

Anyone else done this thanks so much in advance

[sandiego]

In addition to this, I've been in contact since he wished me happy christmas on christmas day and I'm feeling the same feelings of powerlessness and hurt as before we broke up.

I just want to delete him and move on right now - it's hurting me!

Anyone else done this thanks so much in advance

 

I can empathize in a big way and would be happy to offer advice based upon my experience. Feel free to read my old posts...they do a good job of describing the misery I allowed myself to experience by staying in contact with my ex after our breakup.

 

Late summer I cut off communication, gradually. By August we had no contact and I felt 100% better by Oct. After that, she'd text occasionally...we were friendly, it seemed cool. Then in early Dec. she tells me she's been thinking a lot about me and really wanted to see me when she came home for Christmas. She thought maybe she'd made a mistake, but wasn't sure (total breadcrumb bs). I agreed to see her when she came home...just to feel it out. Well, the three weeks leading up to Christmas I heard nothing.....she didn't even call to tell me she couldn't hang out. I felt so disrespected and upset. All of a sudden, I felt a wave of sadness, as if I was back in throws of grief. I texted and told her I felt disrespected and asked her not to contact me anymore..... Then I un-friended her from my FB for the first time. This is after 15 months of being broken up!

 

So my advice, take him off FB now and don't communicate. It will save you months of additional grief. Let it go. You will heal so much faster. If you're meant to be with him, it'll happen in it's own way. Respect yourself and your feelings. Don't give him the power by hanging around, giving him the impression you'll be there if he wants you. It will backfire. Nothing good will come from communicating...and checking his FB status is a recipe for hurt (believe me, I know......I saw my ex enter and exit two relationships after we broke up....it does not feel good, nor help you move on with your life).

 

Take care of yourself. It gets better...but you really need to stop contact/FB now in order to move on. Trust me on this.

Wishing you all the best....

SD

[TheSageMan]

Last night (after one too many drinks sitting around with my old man) I blocked my ex from my facebook account. While it isn't a full blown deletion, I woke up today without feeling the need to check her profile every 10 minutes. We broke up ~2 months ago (3.5 year relationship) amid other personal family tradgedy so the end of the year has been rocky at best for me. The NC rule was broken several times culminating in us meeting for dinner and watching a movie last Tuesday. We had been best friends thoughout our relationship so needless to say it was AWKWARD. The emotional attachment is still there but it felt like she had moved on. The next day I sent her a text that saying that I could not just be friends with her, and that it would hurt too much for me to go on like this.

 

That being said I drove out to spend some time with my parents over Christmas and did some soul searching. I know that the old feelings are going to arise, but I also know that by deleting her and her family from my phone, facebook and every other potential contact point that it will minimize the need and want to contact her. If she wants to find me, then she has all of the opprotunity in the world. By doing this I feel like the ball is back in my court and I will be able to make decisions regarding us moving into the future or not. It has been a huge weight taken off of my shoulders.

 

I hope this helps.

[9Lives]

I was/am the FB jack/ass too

 

Leave that sh*t alone if you really want to move on with your life. You are asking for sooooooo much pain and hurt!!!! Im telling you, nothing good will come from it. I know from experience!

[tobydog]

Agree, it is a nightmare. Constant checking just leaves you second guessing and wondering.

Take my experience...Defriended, blocked, he changed status to separated, then It's complicated, then back to sep. Then unblocked. Now I have hacked into his page and see among his interests; Books, Cain and Abel. What the Hell? He has never read a frigging book in his life! Posed in new pics with a manic smile showing he has no wedding ring on! I have blocked him and will NEVER unblock him......well I don't think so.......Give me strength!

Have more willpower than me! x

[Mrlonelyone]

Facebook is of the devil.

 

I know just how you feel. Me and a woman I have known for years have been playing the FB game. With it's many shade of friendship.

 

Me and her have a mutual friend and via that link we know what the other is doing. I contact her or write things on my wall.... and her behavior changes.

 

i.e. I wrote something about "Things people should not discuss on face book". Suddenly after I write that she changes her habits. She read what I wrote, thought about it, agreed with it, and changed her habits. A great sign of respect for me, if nothing else.

 

Yet I can't get a friend request approved. WTH does that mean? Does it mean she feels too strongly to be FB friends with someone who may not feel the same but does not want to turn me off to her JIC her "relationship" does not work?

[delajoonal]

yes, TOBY, DELETE/BLOCK, whatever u can do to get thru this.

 

i blocked my xbf and HIS friends...i can't deal with seeing ANY of it...

 

although i know there is know OW, i cannot deal with it...

 

i am finding NOW, i can go on fb and chat with my friends, etc... and have no worries about seeing him or his friends...it makes life a bit easier knowing i can't access his daily life anymore..

 

just do it!

block HIM!!

[tobydog]

Hi Dela,

The only trouble is you can unblock them! Which I have done in my weaker moments! But now he is blocked and I have his sister's account number/name to see him anytime I want. Which I don't...but I do. I hate him and love him. Tho I would never take him back now that he is contaminated.

We should chat! Deb x

[Art_Critic]

God I need to remove him from Facebook

 

Okay then.. do it... your life will be better if you do

[2010_Sorry]

Yes, FB can be WAY TOO painful. I had to de-activate my account to avoid it all... (my ex-husband is still friends with my entire family), but posting about his new relationship!!?? If you take away the option to peek in on what he is doing, then you force yourself to move on.

 

Good luck!

[delajoonal]

Hi Dela,

The only trouble is you can unblock them! Which I have done in my weaker moments! But now he is blocked and I have his sister's account number/name to see him anytime I want. Which I don't...but I do. I hate him and love him. Tho I would never take him back now that he is contaminated.

We should chat! Deb x

 

yes, please feel free to Private Message me anytime..i will be off and on LS today...so i will check back soon, OK.

 

hope ur doing ok...?

[tobydog]

will do Dela, we seem to be on the same wave length! x Deb x