SimonSerenade Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 So I was getting along okay on my own, I knew Christmas day was going to be hard but I didn't think it was going to be this hard, Not to the point where I'm in tears at this time of the morning, Feels like I'm back to day one all over again. So I woke up with lots of Merry Christmas texts and then I scroll across one of a number I thought I'd erased from my memory, I read the text, It said "Merry Christmas, Lucas will be down around 7, You got some presents here, Ill bring them down and thankyou for mine, There awesome (I got her one or two things from Lucas) and Lucas loves his :)" I wasn't going to reply but I felt I just had to so I replied "Nice one cheers, Have a good day, Merry Christmas", After my son and the presents were dropped off and I stayed out the way, I picked him up and I picked up the presents too, I was expecting something rubbish and cheap but when I opened them, There was a brand new game which cost her quite a bit, A Dad necklace and some deodrant along with a card that said "To a dad who always lights up our Christmas with love", I felt I needed to just contact her after that text so I rang her, We talked a good talk for about 20 minutes then we mentioned one or two things from the past that made us laugh then I felt it was a bit uncomfortable so I said I had to go cause I was going round my friends with my son (which is true but I had time to spare) to get out of the conversation, She later text me saying "sorry bout tht, just felt orquad (lmao love how she cant spell) and i didnt want to talk about anything, sorry again, merry christmas". Now what's really got me over a barrel is I keep wondering what all of this means, Why the card, The nice presents, I'd of rather she didn't as I was under the impression she couldn't care less and I was happy enough with that cause I thought I'd accepted it's over and I left being the only one who gave a damn, I don't know of her intensions, All I know is I did everything I could and when it counted it didn't matter, Said all I had to say and got nothing in return, I'm going back to no contact now and I'm very disapointed in myself for ever breaking it, I should of known better now I feel weak. It was funny though when I was talking to her, I said one thing I thought annoyed her a little, She asked if I liked the game she got me, My reply was "Well... It's alright but I've had it and didn't like it so gonna take it back or a refund" aha everyone I've told had a good chuckle about it. I just don't know what all this means, My geuss is it means nothing and she did it out of pity or something, Could anybody share some opinions and shed a light on this for me? I'm lost and need guidance, Need my strength back, There's no chance in hell I'm going to surrender it to her again.
Leandro Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 It means nothing, and that's how you should view it.
bl22 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 My advice Simon.... If you ever meet another girl who spells awkward 'orquad' again.....RUN ...FAST....Gareth Bale style !! haha
alwayshoping Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Haha love the spelling! That would make me run though! As for the presents: it mean a: nothing b:she wants to be nice to the father of her child and doesn't want it to be awkward. Either way mate your too good for her. I've read all your posts but never really commented. You really seem like a stand up chap and you deserve someone who wont leave you. She has and it's her loss. Your going to make a girl so happy someday and your ex will forever regret the way she has treated you. Stay strong buddy x
vandelay Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Simon, sorry you are finding yourself in this situation. I know how hard you have worked to keep yourself sane and stable. You always give great insight and advice around here. I would just say this about what happened... The holidays bring up all kinds of emotions for everyone. Even the cold-hearted people are effected. I'm just going to assume that you fell in love with your woman because she has a tender side. The holidays caught up with her and she expressed some positive emotion on christmas. You could look at it as sweetness or cruelty, depending on your mood, but I wouldn't read any more into it. She didn't reach out to you the day before xmas, and she probably won't reach out like that again any time soon. (Well, maybe about 6 weeks from now when valentines day rolls around! Steady your nerves and be ready for it!) So I just say, take it for what it is. Not much, a moment of weakness, a crack in her rough exterior brought on by the sickening love that is pervasive during the holiday season. Life as usual will resume a few days from now and we will all come back down to earth and "real life" soon enough. Let's face it, there really was no chance that christmas could have passed without incident or be anything less than completely f*cked up, right?? Strength and power to you, my brotha!
Author SimonSerenade Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Thankyou for the kind replies, I geuss these holidays are always going to get to me cause that's the time when I was happiest with her, It helps to know I'm not on my own through this, though I wish things were going better for you good people here on Loveshack, I just wish she hadn't done any of this, I think as strange as this sounds, I was better off when I got nothing from her, At least then I was getting through day by day, Maybe not happily but I was coping and I was doing it with my pride in tact then yesterday just brought it all back. I'd love nothing more than to have another shot at being a family despite what's gone on and the pain it's caused, I thought I knew what love was before her but I knew nothing and now it's going to be extremely hard trying to find another who can compare to her but all I can do is try, There's nothing more I can do. My strength may have gone down the toilet in that moment and now I find myself needing her again but I'm going to rise above it again and move onward to the healing destination and if she should contact me in the future, She will be ignored 100%, Unless the next thing I get is an apology she won't get nothing from me, Just got to find reason to be happy on my own again. I've made some great friends on this forum and one of those friends I could not do without right now or ever for that matter so if that's something to take from this hell then it's something I will take and thank the heavens for. I felt I was a good guy when she broke it off with me and did more than most would for her, I gave it my all and though it wasn't enough, It was enough to buy me a clear conscience at least.
Recommended Posts