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Is he going to call? Resisting the urge to call him by talking to you guys instead.

jad0re

By jad0re
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jad0re New Member

jad0re

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Hi,

 

I met this guy last night. We hit it off, laughed a lot and at some point he kissed me. We had too much to drink, ended up at his place, but nothing happened. Except, we made out for hours. In the morning, we talked, kissed, talked, kissed, talked, and kissed some more. I think I like him.

 

I bolted out of there kinda quick. And, maybe a bit abruptly. He started making breakfast, his roomate woke up, and I announced I was going to go. And, I went. As I was grabbing my things he asked why I wouldn't stay for breakfast, and I didn't put in too much effort into making something up, I said I have a lot of things to take care of that I've been putting off with work. I kissed him bye and left.

 

Did I move too quick by sleeping over? Am I a weirdo for leaving so randomly? If it was just the two of us, I would've loved to stay and have breakfast with him, but I felt weird around the roomate. It's been 2 days, when will he call? Sorry, I know I'm being such a girl about this one.

Madgick1 Established Member

Madgick1

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It's been 2 days?

 

No, it sounds like it's been les than 24 hours. If you met him last night, Xmas eve, and left this morning, Xmas, I'm not surprised you haven't heard from him. It's only been hours. And it's Xmas.

 

You did not have sex, right? He'll probably call in in a couple days.

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jad0re New Member

jad0re

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Tx :)

It's been two days, I mispoke. We met the night before last, and by the time I left.. that was yesterday afternoon. No sex - not even close. Tx for the assurance, I'll sit tight. (Although, if I were a guy and digging someone, I'd just call - this is driving me nuts!!)

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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He was making breakfast, you left with cringe-worthy excuses.

 

Woman, use some logic once in a while. I dont know what he is thinking, but if I were him, I wouldnt call you.

MJ2 Member

MJ2

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Every now & then an awkward morning is better than a lonely night. heheh

 

Did u offer ur number or did he ask for it?

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jad0re New Member

jad0re

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LOL @MJ, an awkward morning is exactly what I was trying to avoid. He has my number, we met online (we work in the same field) and he's been texting me about meeting up for a while. Last night was just the first night we did.

 

@Muse, I feel bad about that. And, I appreciate the insight, b/c may be he thinks the way you do. In defense of my logic (or lack thereof), I was trying to be cool about the situation in the morning. Play it off, act confident, whatever it is the girl does in the movies when she wakes up next to a guy she just met. But, in real life, I don't really fall make out and fall asleep with random guys, hence the lack of experience to be smooth about it. It was cool while it was me and him (we both know what happened and didn't happen, and it was easy with him) but, when I saw his roomate wake up, I know what he's thinking, and I just couldn't bare the thought of having breakfast across from this guy who thinks I just met his buddy and spent the night. I chickened out at that point, I guess.

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jad0re New Member

jad0re

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Every now & then an awkward morning is better than a lonely night. heheh

Did u offer ur number or did he ask for it?

Sorry posted the reply below.
musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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@Muse, I feel bad about that. And, I appreciate the insight, b/c may be he thinks the way you do. In defense of my logic (or lack thereof), I was trying to be cool about the situation in the morning. Play it off, act confident, whatever it is the girl does in the movies when she wakes up next to a guy she just met. But, in real life, I don't really fall make out and fall asleep with random guys, hence the lack of experience to be smooth about it. It was cool while it was me and him (we both know what happened and didn't happen, and it was easy with him) but, when I saw his roomate wake up, I know what he's thinking, and I just couldn't bare the thought of having breakfast across from this guy who thinks I just met his buddy and spent the night. I chickened out at that point, I guess.

If you are inexperienced then thats okay. Live and learn you know (I hope you do learn :D.)

 

Of course the roommate would think that you guys did something, but so what? By storming off like that, not only you confused the guy, his roommate would still find out there was a girl there earlier anyway. And if you one day met him, he would probably throw some joke about how that day he thought his roommate was so nice making breakfast for him only to find out it was for some girl who ran away for no reason. Imagine how embarrassed you would feel. :laugh:

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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If you walked out and didnt take the breakfast, I wouldnt call you either. You better call him and at least find out if hes still interested. if hes not, oh well. Whats the harm?

MJ2 Member

MJ2

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If you walked out and didnt take the breakfast, I wouldnt call you either. You better call him and at least find out if hes still interested. if hes not, oh well. Whats the harm?

 

Danng, really? Just for skipping out on breakfast? (One that would've been uncomfortable & awkward).("/)

I mean, At least call the chick once if y'all had a little PG-13 sleepover action...;)

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I met this guy last night. We hit it off, laughed a lot and at some point he kissed me. We had too much to drink, ended up at his place, but nothing happened. Except, we made out for hours. In the morning, we talked, kissed, talked, kissed, talked, and kissed some more. I think I like him.

 

Yikes. I would hope you like him after all of that. :confused:

 

Fact is, you went home with him the night you met him. That you only made out for hours and didn't have sex doesn't really matter. I wouldn't expect him to call, and if he does, I would not to expect it to really go anywhere.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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Yikes. I would hope you like him after all of that. :confused:

 

Fact is, you went home with him the night you met him. That you only made out for hours and didn't have sex doesn't really matter. I wouldn't expect him to call, and if he does, I would not to expect it to really go anywhere.

Men lose respect over sex, not kissing.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Men lose respect over sex, not kissing.

 

Meh. Men lose respect over behavior they'd be concerned about a woman doing with everyone as easily as they did them. Going home with a man she just met is one of those things.

 

I'd lose respect for a man who invited me home on the night we met, and I think it goes both ways that he'd lose respect for her just for going. Keep in mind, they're strangers.

 

But I'm a LTR kind of gal looking for a LTR kind of guy, so perhaps that's why I think and behave differently.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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Meh. Men lose respect over behavior they'd be concerned about a woman doing with everyone as easily as they did them. Going home with a man she just met is one of those things.

 

I'd lose respect for a man who invited me home on the night we met, and I think it goes both ways that he'd lose respect for her just for going. Keep in mind, they're strangers.

Nah, you would be right if you were talking from a really conservative background.

 

Kissing and going over to a guy's place are nothing. Sex is where the line is drawn.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Kissing and going over to a guy's place are nothing. Sex is where the line is drawn.

 

I disagree.

 

Going home with him the very night she meets him and making out with him for hours and hours sets the tone for the rest of their "relationship." A sexual tone. It's a bad move.

OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

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I disagree.

 

Going home with him the very night she meets him and making out with him for hours and hours sets the tone for the rest of their "relationship." A sexual tone. It's a bad move.

 

I agree with this. Making out heavily on the first date for hours sets the wrong tone. I have been making that mistake for a while now.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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I disagree.

 

Going home with him the very night she meets him and making out with him for hours and hours sets the tone for the rest of their "relationship." A sexual tone. It's a bad move.

In this case perhaps you are right.

 

Somehow I failed to notice that she just met him that very night.

 

Personally I wouldnt even go to a woman's place if she invited me over only a few hours after we met at some bar or club. I dont know what STD I could contract from her or she could be some sadomasochist or something.

 

I think her mistake was going to his place in the first place. After all he was literally a complete stranger. Thats dangerous. But then again in the end he didnt force himself on her and it sounds like he treated well until she just ran for no reason. So at this point I see no reason to pass any negative judgment on him.

Edited by musemaj11
zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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Hi,

 

I met this guy last night. We hit it off, laughed a lot and at some point he kissed me. We had too much to drink, ended up at his place, but nothing happened. Except, we made out for hours. In the morning, we talked, kissed, talked, kissed, talked, and kissed some more. I think I like him.

 

I bolted out of there kinda quick. And, maybe a bit abruptly. He started making breakfast, his roomate woke up, and I announced I was going to go. And, I went. As I was grabbing my things he asked why I wouldn't stay for breakfast, and I didn't put in too much effort into making something up, I said I have a lot of things to take care of that I've been putting off with work. I kissed him bye and left.

 

Did I move too quick by sleeping over? Am I a weirdo for leaving so randomly? If it was just the two of us, I would've loved to stay and have breakfast with him, but I felt weird around the roomate. It's been 2 days, when will he call? Sorry, I know I'm being such a girl about this one.

 

He may or may not call. He may be nervous about you not staying. He may be offended. Maybe he just will get busy himself. You don't really know him well enough to know. Did you ask him to call you? If I want a guy to call me, I always ask. This puts the onus on him, for sure, but it gives him safe room to do so---he doesn't have to wonder if I want him to call. I make sure to ask really sincerely and affectionately. I can generally tell by his response if he will. Guys who will get this look.

 

Yikes. I would hope you like him after all of that. :confused:

 

Fact is, you went home with him the night you met him. That you only made out for hours and didn't have sex doesn't really matter. I wouldn't expect him to call, and if he does, I would not to expect it to really go anywhere.

 

I had a very good LTR with a man whose house I crashed at the very first night we met (No sex, and in fact, we waited until we were in love to have sex, per HIS choice, though I would've waited awhile anyway). And we made out quite a bit that night. This man moved in with me, asked me to marry him (I declined, as some of our values don't line up, and he's too materialistic for me in the long run), and still mentioned recently that he's not sure he'll find another girl like me. That made me a bit uncomfortable, and we can't be friends because of it, but I'm pretty sure he respects me.

 

The truth is, being respectable has to do with a whole lot more than these cut-and-dried truisms. Now, if she got half naked and then said, "Oh, no, let's stop," or something. . . okay. But a make out session? Really depends. Can't tell anything from it, sure, but if they also talked and had any sort of connection, it shouldn't stop things from happening with most decent men. I've got a lot of male friends----all awesome guys----and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't snap judge on that alone, and I know people who actually had sex on the first meeting and got married and developed awesome relationships. Rare? Sure. Because it's a grab bag---you really don't know who you've just had sex with and if they're actually awesome.

 

And spending a night is not having sex. Most men I know make distinctions. Now, if she tried to way cool down and pull back weirdly later, going a different pace, that might be strange, if it felt inorganic. Men I know tend to hate when women do things that feel inorganic (game playing) to them, and women so frequently do that after sex or anything sexual, because they rush themselves forward, then pull back, it's this weird blackmail/guilt thing women have about sex---they feel bad for having it and for not having it. That stuff will mess you up, sure.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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In this case perhaps you are right.

 

Somehow I failed to notice that she just met him that very night.

 

Personally I wouldnt even go to a woman's place if she invited me over only a few hours after we met at some bar or club. I dont know what STD I could contract from her or she could be some sadomasochist or something.

 

I think her mistake was going to his place in the first place. After all he was literally a complete stranger.

 

Careful reading will get you the answer. :)

 

I agree with this. Making out heavily on the first date for hours sets the wrong tone. I have been making that mistake for a while now.

 

You've learned from experience. :)

 

There's always going to be someone to come running in, like zengirl, to say, "Oh, but it worked for meeeee!" Well, sure, there's always an exception to the rule. It's the infrequent exceptions that make the rule the rule to begin with.

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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I agree with this. Making out heavily on the first date for hours sets the wrong tone. I have been making that mistake for a while now.

 

Making out on the first date isnt the problem, your man picker is on the fritz.

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