Dirtyeggroll Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 So me and my gf broke up about a month ago because she needed space and time to deal with some problems she was facing at home. Fast forward to last week... I have been trying to follow the no contact rule and it has been going good. But then last week i get a text from my ex gf saying "hey you". She also initiated contact the following three days. We never talked about the relationship at all and kept the convos neutral. But now it has been a week since we last talked and she hasn't texted me anymore. Except today i wished her a Merry Christmas and she texted back "Merry Christmas" but then that was it and she stopped texting me.Can someone help me understand why last week she was the one that was initiating the contact but then stopped after a couple of days? It hurts because i assume that she doesn't want to talk to me....When should I make an attempt at telling her my feelings and that I miss her? I really want this girl back so bad and i thought i was over her but im not obviously not because I can't stop thinking about her and i just want to be with her again. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you
WiselyNaive Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 advice: do not text or intiate ANY contact (christmas was ok)...wait...she will contact you again....
b_rouse Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Yeah, you have to make her work for your affection. If you're the dumper, you have A LOT of sucking up to do if you want to get back together with the person you dumped. When you dump someone, the respect is lost almost instantly. If my ex ever wanted to get back together (not saying I want him back, but for the sake of this scenario), he would have to work VERY HARD because I lost a lot of respect for him and a lot of trust. Which both are hard to regain once they've been lost.
Author Dirtyeggroll Posted December 27, 2010 Author Posted December 27, 2010 whats the general rule of thumb for no contact? Like how long do I wait? Because my fear is that if i don't talk to her after a certain amount of time that her feelings will grow weaker for me advice: do not text or intiate ANY contact (christmas was ok)...wait...she will contact you again....
PowerOfOne Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 She dumped you mate. I'm sorry to say but those feelings are not going to get any weaker than that... If you treated her well and had a good connection she might come back when she realises that. But you've got to give her that time and space she wanted. Chasing is not going to make you any more attractive. Let your conduct in the relationship speak for you. My advice - move on and be a better you. If she makes contact at a later stage, even if it's initally just to be friends, she'll be impressed with this new you. Don't do it for her though, do it for yourself. It's your life to direct and live, not hers. Period.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 Yeah she dumped you and cowardly blamed her family life. Whatever reason she dumped you for , it was because of something she didnt like about you. She wont tell you know, so you have no chance to get back with her. Dont even try. You cant make that flame shine as bright if at all. She texted you probably just to see if you would answer, but she really doesnt want to hear from you. She probably moved on to another guy already, or is happy being single. It doesnt matter how quickly or how long you wait to reply, she is trying to forget about you. BTW, Ive been through this, and she will text you again. Do not reply to her thinking it will help anything. Just ignore her. Or tell her not to text you again until she is ready to try again. It will be hard to do, but know this...she doesnt want to make it work, or she would have still been with you. Trust me.
fiat500 Posted December 27, 2010 Posted December 27, 2010 sadly, i have to agree. if she blames her family for the breakup it's a piss poor excuse. if you want to be with someone, you don't let anything get in the way. especially if you're a woman. family problems? yeah right. we're known for stupidly disregarding family if there's a man we care about. there's clearly something about you she doesn't like and she's giving you that family bullsh** to make you still see her in a good light and not hate her for the break up. this is what happened to my ex and his last ex before me. she gave him the same reason and he went into the next relationship holding her up on a pedestal. when i went to visit him at his university, he suddenly proclaimed he knew why his ex dumped him. because she had "so much" going on at school and he was doing the same thing I was doing. He wanted to hang out with her like i wanted to hang out with him. it was something that cut deep. just don't believe your ex's excuse for breaking up with you. i don't want the next girl to endure what i had to go through.
youngskywalker Posted December 28, 2010 Posted December 28, 2010 They always contact at least once. She most likely did it out of guilt and it doesn't mean anything as far as her getting back with you. She dumped you for a lame reason and most likely is just going to slowly forget about you. She's probably forgotten about you already as she begins to feel the relief of not being with you anymore. Now, it doesn't mean that she DIDN'T like something about you, but could just be that she wasn't that into you or wasn't feeling the flame. Alright with that said, I realize you want to get back together with her. First, stop contacting her. You said you were worried about her forgetting about you but just assume it as inevitable. You're actually better off that she does forget about you and then give her a call in the future and see what happens. At that time you'll have new stuff to talk about IF she's even willing to talk to you. But, in this situation the best chance you'll have at getting her back is to never contact her again. If she texts you then text her back but keep it short. She has to miss you, want you back and take the initiative. You'll never convince her back into your life.
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