Stonewall Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Ok so what makes sex great? What does one mean by that? I ask this question because I'm a virgin. I'm dating somebody now, and eventually she will probably expect that I have sex with her. In fact I think she already tried to give me a hint and I missed it. (She invited me over to her house when no one was there.. took me to her room to watch a movie and flashed her bra, although I'm not sure if it was intentional or unintentional) The reason why I ask this question is because while I want gradification when I do have sex; however I want even more for my partner to have gradification. Sex can sometimes be a deal breaker, and right now I feel my relationship is in a weird place. I asked her to exclusively date, and if my suspicions are correct I think she'll want to "take me on a test drive" before she makes a decision. This could feasibly be a dealbreaker. My second question is how does one know when your the woman is ready to have sex or wants to have sex? and how do you initiate the act? Do you just start making out and take off your shirt, and hope she follows suit?
Feelin Frisky Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Sex is nature. Try not to over-think it or make it somehow an external construct. It just flows. You'll have to see how far she wants to go. But usually it's a given that a guy WANTS it to go as far as it can. So, if you WANT it go where you haven't gone before, accept that you're going to "lead" with your cues and body language. She'll let you know by her cues and prompts how far she wants to go. You sound like you're pretty-much in control of yourself so, you'll be able to exercise considerateness when it happens. If she's giving you signals, then it's important that you take them and not leave her to start wondering about you. Good luck.
alexlakeman Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 How old you are? I'm not going to rag on you, I just have two boys (one's a teenager) and it would drive me nuts if they felt they didn't have enough trust in me to approach that subject ...vs going on the internet.. You're lucky, when I was a teenager, there was NO internet, and no Barnes & Nobles, etc.. so umm, still was great ... Read up on pleasuring the woman FIRST, making her CUM, eating HER (like an ex gf told me one time and it was true, "babe, lick it like if it was a lollipop!!!) .. also when you finger her use the hmm, can't describe it but you have to rub on the roof of the va.gina, use your fingers like if your calling her over (2 fingers, 1 at first, if she's a virgin).. If she's a virgin, you are in luck, b/c anything you do will practically be great for her, since she hasn't experienced it b4... Cliff's notes - do NOT be selfish, make her cum, lick her like a lollipop... lol age again was??
Author Stonewall Posted December 25, 2010 Author Posted December 25, 2010 I’m also curious how old are you? You shouldn’t worry about if she will expect sex, because great sex is enthusiastic sex. You don’t sound enthusiastic like you want to have sex. You really seem to be over thinking this and stressing. Did it excite you when she flashed you her bra? Did you want to touch? I'm 20 years old. I grew up in a Catholic family so I was always taught that sex was basically evil. I held those values until a year ago when I decided I wanted no part in Catholism anymore. Because my family is Catholic I have nobody to talk to about sex. This forum is really the only place I know where to turn for questions like these. To answer your second question I do want to have sex with this girl, yet I also have a fear that when I do it'll be a dealbreaker. The feeling I have is a mix between excitement, fear and aprehension. I'm afraid I won't be able to read the cues, and if I do read the cues that I'll do everything all wrong. And yes I was very excited when I saw her bra.... I couldn't stop looking.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 At least someone wants to have sex with you. No woman has ever even been attracted to me in the whole of my life before and I'm 35.
Author Stonewall Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 At least someone wants to have sex with you. No woman has ever even been attracted to me in the whole of my life before and I'm 35. Chances are there has been, and you just haven't been able to read the signals. Don't feel down on yourself Ross.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Chances are there has been, and you just haven't been able to read the signals. Don't feel down on yourself Ross. I think there is something biologically different about me from other humans. Like I don't produce pheremones or the right ones or something. Heck, sometimes I feel like maybe I'm some kind of an alien in a human body.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I wish I could swap places with you Stonewall.
creighton0123 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I'm 20 years old. I grew up in a Catholic family so I was always taught that sex was basically evil. I held those values until a year ago when I decided I wanted no part in Catholism anymore. Because my family is Catholic I have nobody to talk to about sex. This forum is really the only place I know where to turn for questions like these. To answer your second question I do want to have sex with this girl, yet I also have a fear that when I do it'll be a dealbreaker. The feeling I have is a mix between excitement, fear and aprehension. I'm afraid I won't be able to read the cues, and if I do read the cues that I'll do everything all wrong. And yes I was very excited when I saw her bra.... I couldn't stop looking. Congratulations on your abandonment of anti-sex religions. I can't see how they have survived for so long... Anyhow, I'll give you some hints: 1. Get a BUNCH of condoms 2. Get an erection by yourself 3. Practice putting on the condom: i. Open the package with your fingers (NOT YOUR TEETH) ii. Pinch the tip of the condom and place it over your erect penis iii. roll the condom as far down your penis as it will go, ensuring that you're still pinching the tip to keep an open space at the end of the condom. If you fail in ii or iii, the condom has a much higher chance of breaking. iv. Apply some water based lubricant and when the time comes, slowly (SLOWLY) push your penis into her vagina. When she relaxes, pull out, push in, pull out, push in. Use your hips and abs, not your legs. Check the condom every once in a while to make sure it's still in place. Respond to her and make sure she is enjoying it or if she wants to do anything differently. When you're going to ejaculate, if you're worried you can grab the base of the condom, pull out, and ejaculate into the condom while outside of her. Afterwards, roll it back and peel it off making sure no semen spills and wrap it in a paper towel. That's Condom use 101. Learn it. They do more for you than protect from unwanted pregnancy. They're good at avoiding any unwanted diseases. As for how to get to the point of sex: Communication and going with the flow. If she wants it, learn a little bit more about what she's doing when you make up. If she is placing your hands anywhere, go with it. If all else fails and things get really heated, ask her if you can take off her shirt. You sound like a young man who feels like an alien because he is a virgin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. If she ever asks you if you're a virgin, just respond honestly. Hell, if she asks it is because she is most likely interested in having sex, but wants to know how nervous you'll be.
Author Stonewall Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 Congratulations on your abandonment of anti-sex religions. I can't see how they have survived for so long... Anyhow, I'll give you some hints: 1. Get a BUNCH of condoms 2. Get an erection by yourself 3. Practice putting on the condom: i. Open the package with your fingers (NOT YOUR TEETH) ii. Pinch the tip of the condom and place it over your erect penis iii. roll the condom as far down your penis as it will go, ensuring that you're still pinching the tip to keep an open space at the end of the condom. If you fail in ii or iii, the condom has a much higher chance of breaking. iv. Apply some water based lubricant and when the time comes, slowly (SLOWLY) push your penis into her vagina. When she relaxes, pull out, push in, pull out, push in. Use your hips and abs, not your legs. Check the condom every once in a while to make sure it's still in place. Respond to her and make sure she is enjoying it or if she wants to do anything differently. When you're going to ejaculate, if you're worried you can grab the base of the condom, pull out, and ejaculate into the condom while outside of her. Afterwards, roll it back and peel it off making sure no semen spills and wrap it in a paper towel. That's Condom use 101. Learn it. They do more for you than protect from unwanted pregnancy. They're good at avoiding any unwanted diseases. As for how to get to the point of sex: Communication and going with the flow. If she wants it, learn a little bit more about what she's doing when you make up. If she is placing your hands anywhere, go with it. If all else fails and things get really heated, ask her if you can take off her shirt. You sound like a young man who feels like an alien because he is a virgin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. If she ever asks you if you're a virgin, just respond honestly. Hell, if she asks it is because she is most likely interested in having sex, but wants to know how nervous you'll be. thank you, this post means a lot to me and it will help me in the future. It's kind of sad that I had to get this info online.
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