Exit Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Had a very vivid dream last night of getting back together with my ex from over a year ago. I'm 7 months into a relationship now and ironically in the dream, I was worried that I messed up my current relationship by cheating with my old ex and possibly ruined a good thing, but at the same time, I was ecstatic to be back with my ex. Then after waking up, the dream drove me to Facebook her for the first time in a long while and see new pictures of her. It's funny, when I see her pictures, part of me has to admit that she isn't as attractive as I always think of her in my memories, but that doesn't do much to lessen the fact that I see her pictures and I miss her and still clearly am not over this. This upcoming spring around April or May will be 2 damn years and I still think and dream about her. If any of you are going through a more current break up, take it from me, someone who resisted No Contact every way possible and ended up bothering this girl for like 5 months after she left me, DO THE NC. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't acted like such a madman, she'd be back in my life to some extent. Maybe we would have struck up a friendship or even given our relationship another shot. But I screwed it up so bad by not being able to let her go. I think I regret that more now than anything I may have done wrong in the relationship. I know some people would say going NC shouldn't be motivated by thoughts of saving a future with your ex, but either way, NC helps you move on and never see them again, and NC also leaves cleaner ties just in case there ever was a second chance down the road. So it's a win win. I wish I had done NC. I found every excuse not to. "She has my belongings, maybe she wants me to pursue, she must want to know I care", blah blah blah. I ended up probably scaring the crap out of her and will probably never exchange another word with her in my lifetime. Hurts to say that. Do NC, trust me.
BlindRage Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 (edited) I did the same mistake as you and now I'm paying the price. I continued to have contact with her for 4-5 months after the break up (it wasn't pleasant contact either, it was pathetic[she told me on a few occasions], most of it was me crying and begging her, she would just say no and hanged up everytime). I know I ruined all strings between us and I think if I had stop talking to her the day she told me she wanted "space" maybe she would have missed me. She just hates me now. Well, I guess this is it right? I hope that in two years I'll be completely over her and not think of her; I highly doubt that will be the case though. About two days ago I was at a restaurant with my family. I then for no reason got my phone out and wished she would call me to tell me she didn't mean it when she said she didn't loved me nor cared about me anymore. Needless to say, I did not receive any call or text from her. I literally started crying in the restaurant and in front of my family as well as strangers. It was really embarrassing. That day I came home and wanted to get rid of everything she touched: bed sheets, pillows, pillow covers, this blanket she used to wrap herself in. I grabbed everything and tossed it on the floor. That night I cried myself to sleep with only a cold blanket. hahaha. I'm not talking to her any longer. The only reason I call her is to get answers to questions she has answered me millions of times. I finally realize its over. The person she has is who she wants now. It hurts to know its not me but I have to deal with it now. I've stretched this for a really long time, now I have to accept it and leave her alone. I hope things get better soon. Edited December 24, 2010 by BlindRage
mgene15 Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 same exact thing for me, Begged, pleaded, cried...for about 3 weeks..emberrasing...I just pushed her away further...but finally intiated NC in october and been ever since..I basically burned all bridges with her because of my pleading..but stuff happens...an i'm in a new relationship...o well right? i'm young, can't dwell after all only thing it does is mess with your head, stay up guys!
Author Exit Posted December 25, 2010 Author Posted December 25, 2010 (edited) Yeah... it's funny I look at my current relationship and realize I have it better in many aspects than I did with this ex. And I guess it's kinda crappy to say I'm even this far into a relationship and still think about someone else. But what can I do, wait forever? I need to move on and I'm not trying to sell this new girl short by still thinking of my ex. But wow... the dream almost showed me that if the ex ever came back around I might not be able to stop myself. I can't help how I feel. I wouldn't have even thought I had the capacity to love someone after close to 2 years of them not caring about me. I'm a logical person and I know that's a terrible waste of my energy to still think about someone who probably never thinks of me. But then again love isn't logical. I fear I will go the rest of my life always missing this girl to some extent. I have a great gf now but still it doesn't go away. I hadn't checked her Facebook in a long time and with the holidays and other issues on my mind I wasn't really even thinking about her much, and then bam, a long detailed dream where I experience being back with her again. I still think stupid things like maybe I had a dream about her because she was thinking of me... but life doesn't work that way. Edited December 25, 2010 by Exit
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