I want to hear some serious desperation stories...

[mmiller5373]

Anybody out there completely hit rock bottom when their ex left them? Did you do and say things to your ex that you never expected yourself to do? Embarrassing things? Post em' here.

 

You can read some of my posts here on this board to get an idea of what I went through and how badly it affected me. Basically, I wasn't in the right state of mind to begin with and when she left me, I went nuts. Completely nuts. I called /texted 100's of times when she told me to leave her alone. Showed up at her house and work a few times. Talked to her friends and family about things. Got into her email and Facebook accounts. It was really bad.

[cboy90]

She broke up with me and told me I still had a chance. I brought everything she ever gave me over to her apartment and gave it back to her. She told me to keep it cause "what if we get back together?". I even kept the napkin from 4 years ago that she wrote her number on when we first met (she never thought I kept it, it was always in my wallet).

 

Week later, I ended the friends thing and she yelled at me over the phone. I was furious. Anyways, I took everything she had bought me: sweaters/cologne/shirts/left her underwear at my place/gave me pictures of us. Took it to my firepit outside, lit it on fire and took a video of it....then sent that video to her.

 

Then 3 days later I found the scrap book I made for us while we were together (she never knew about it). That's the only possession I still have left of her.

 

Side note: I forgot that cologne was an alcohol. When it's sitting in a firepit, its a ticking time bomb, so watch out. Out of the 27 bottles of cologne I had, 6 were from her. Scared the $hit out of me when it blew up.

[AZGarnethawk]

LOL@ ticking time bomb...silly mister!

 

I don't have in crazy stories like that. But it has been proven throwing things out, lighting them on fire ((as long as you are carefull)), and getting rid of your old ex helps the process of healing and moving on. And you always have something to look back and laugh at.

 

I think the only time I did do something was I was with my first husband. We were dating and I went through his dorm room. I found an envolope when I opened it there was a pair of womens underwear in there. With a note that said smell them and see if you can figure out who they belong too. So I took a knife sliced them up mailled them back with a note that said. "Figure out if you can guess what will happen if **** like this ends up in my boyfriends mail box again whore."

 

She was pissed called him and went off. He got onto me. I was like what? I'm suppose to be ok with some woman sending you something like that. He swore they were just friends, but I have my doubts.

[Feelin Frisky]

Nah. Never went nuts and stalked. But there was this one occasion I'll share that made me feel desparate. Me and my problem-child g/f had broken up. We weren't kids and this was a big thing. After a month or so, she initiated contact and I just was willing to forget everything and go at it with her again. I went to her house and when I saw her standing there with a perm she had gotten I just pushed the door in and it bumbed a stand and knocked over a vase or something. I actually carried her up stairs and we had mad passionate sex.

 

Well, after about two weeks the wheels started to come off again. One Saturday I was nursing a bit of a hangover (I'm always horny in that state). I called her in the early afternoon and expressed that I really wanted her. I was surprised when she just wouldn't have me--saying that she was going out with her friend "Irene" later. I couldn't deal with this. It threw me all kinds of curves. Was she bar-hopping with Irene hoping to lay someone else and just maybe coming by later if she didn't score? Was she doing Irene? Was there even somebody named Irene? i guess I whined and begged and cried and all that but to no avail. I was so hot and sex would have been just right but I wasn't getting it.

 

At 2AM the bell rings on my apartment door and wakes me up. It's her. Being a weak jack @ss male, I still had sex with her but it was the first time I bumped up against such uncertainty as to where I fit in a relationship. I couldn't be her fu_k buddy. I had to be number one or nothing. Anyway, I just got hip to her diseased personality and figure that one of her schisms is a gay, sexist man-hater for sure. I wish I would have known she had multiple personalities. I would not have tried to engage her in normal logic. It was always hopeless.

[Woggle]

After my divorce I sat in my house with a loaded gun getting smashed trying to get up the courage to do myself in. Thank god I never did it. After a few weeks of her being gone I was actually glad she left.

[rhonian]

I dont know any of you but it would be WAY to embarassing to tell some of the things that I did and be SO hurtful to another human being....When I think about what I did, I cant help but agree to myselft that we should not be together. ITS BAD!......and Im not proud of it.

[mikeey]

Yes, I think that a lot of us have been there. Post break up, I spent 4 months acting totally out of character....a sniveling, weak willed, cream puff of an individual....which I don't like to think of myself as. Anyhow, this just allowed her to string me along....unlike your situation where she told you to leave her alone...my ex was completely happy dating another guy long distance and keeping poor little Mikey on the side as a sounding board for her problems, her day etc....someone to go shopping with...dinners. NONSENSE. I did a lot of embarrassing things...but in the end, I believe that I recovered a lot from my foolishness....I found the guts to tell her that we couldn't continue this way....I called her a liar multiple times...I called her current bf a dirtbag, coward and weasel for hitting on a taken women....actually, I went as far as telling her to tell him that he is to stay out of my city or risk answering to me for his wrongdoings. She took it without saying a word. I felt empowered and strong. My NC is helping me grow stronger as the days go by. Perhaps you can try some of this is everything else is not working for you. I would caution you though, as someone who knows what you're feeling, that some of your behaviors...even though I totally understand them...can objectively be viewed as harassment. The last thing that you want is a restraining order slapped against you. Sounds like she's got the ball....it's up to you to muster strength via NC to steal it back. Hope this helps.

[fiat500]

The following was what I did when my FIRST EX of over 2 years broke up with me. SO GLAD I didn't make these mistakes with my current ex. G**D*MN!!!! Cannot express how relieved I am that I implemented NC right away instead of making an ass out of myself with the new ex.

 

 

-sent him a long ass email professing my sadness and love (i was 20 at the time and stupid)

 

-sent him multiple texts of NONSENSE (he was my first bf. i didn't know what the f##k i was doing.)

 

-responded to his every beck and call

 

-brought him goodies while he was having a game night with his friends and as a result he ignored me

 

-set myself up for hurt and embarrassment by asking him to hang out.

 

-hung out with him when he asked to hang out and acted all depressed (again, I was 20 years old and stupid.)

 

-burst into tears while hanging out with him

 

OH GOD. SHOOT ME.

[mmiller5373]

I would caution you though, as someone who knows what you're feeling, that some of your behaviors...even though I totally understand them...can objectively be viewed as harassment. The last thing that you want is a restraining order slapped against you. Sounds like she's got the ball....it's up to you to muster strength via NC to steal it back. Hope this helps.

 

I don't think she was worried that I would hurt her or anything like that. She was more worried that I would run into her and her new man, and maybe start a scene. Her family is here illegally so I think her and her family thought that if the police showed up, people would start asking questions about them and their status. Because even a month after she broke up with me she told me that there wasn't another guy, when there clearly was.

 

I've been complete NC since December 4th and that's the way it will stay.

[dreamingoftigers]

I had a lot of unhinged psychological problems that I hadn't received treatment for at the time. My ex left me 6 weeks before we were supposed to be married.:

 

1) I called him incessantly

2) I threatened to kill myself

3) I found out when he was coming over and took a bottle of sleeping pills so that he would find me with a suicide note

4) I dyed my hair blonde and disappeared from the city

 

Yes, I was the psycho ex. I am sooooo glad I would nnnneeeeveerrr do that now.

_______________________________________________________________

 

When my H left to go on his bender telling me he would not be back, but would panhandle and send my daughter and myself money through a joint bank account (which he had actually just drained at a bank machine which told me what city he was in). He said he would go however long on his bender and going city to city panhandling until he felt like stopping and getting a place near us and having JOINT custody of our daughter. Hah! Yes, I am going to give joint custody of our daughter to the guy that walks out mid-afternoon telling no one and disappears to another city with an addiction that he has no intentions of treating (plus driving drunk) and drains our bank account of our rent! Shall I tattoo your name on my ass as well?

 

I told him I wasn't going to accept a dysfunctional arrangement like that and that I would close the account (or at least block my access to it) and cease contact with him.

 

I also told him that if he wanted any kind of custody of his daughter, he would have to make a legal agreement through my lawyer that I would be getting or if he wanted to keep it out of the courts, to meet at our counselor's office to find a way to best plan for the divorce to minimize the impact to our daughter.

 

Home within a week. Back in treatment.

[tobydog]

OMG, loads

The calls, the begging, the crying etc but the worst was the sending HER email through FB and a few few pals did the same calling her a slag and home wrecker etc. They got the police and they came to see me to tell me to not contact him. I have REALLY tried not to but we have a son and he harrassed me over the sledges. Anyway last bad thing I have done is I found out my mum's friend's son works in her shop on Community service. He said she was a whore, liked younger men and went thro them faster than a rat up a drainpipe. A total slapper. SOOOOOO I emailed stbx last night with this info and am just waiting for the fallout...............

EEEKKKKK

Am I bothered? NO! he'll be out on his arse soon and I will rejoice!

Merry Christmas ! Dx

[anna74]

I was a text message terrorist:

 

1. How can you ignore me? You don't even value me enough to reply?Does it make you feel good knowing you hurt me?

 

2. I'm not texting you anymore!

 

3. I really mean it!

 

4. I hate you and I hope you go to hell & take that thing you call your girl with you!!!!!!!!

 

When I see how psycho I was, I want to die. I humiliated myself.

[Yasuandio]

OK. This is a great post. I have been in the divorce process 2 years, and not even got to depo stage. Thank goodness I discovered the LS site yesterday. Regretfully, I hit rock bottom last night, prior to the excellect LS responses sinking in. I made a complete idiot out of myself by leaving nine telephone messages on my H's voicemail. This was a repeat performance of a month ago - only 6 less calls. I did leave a message of sincere apology this morning, and re-reviewed the LS responses and site.

 

Here are a few highlights of the messages that I left:

 

1. I'm your wife, you can come talk to me about anything.

2. Maybe we can come up with some sort of arrangement that will work.

3. Say, I'll meet you at 5pm at the Starbucks on blah blah street tomorrow (Xmas) - as I'm busy with an engagment in the earlier part of the day.

 

Now, I am going to read your history, and you can read the questions I have about has now become my rock bottom situation. I'm terribly interested in the response you might have to a bright, intelligent, and well educated (OSU Ph.D.) woman such as myself. Obviously I have been playing tug-of-war with a piece of ----. I feel like a worthless disgrace. I have absolutly humilated myself on a recording device. I am an idiot.

[Yasuandio]

PS. The reason I'm having so many convos with voicemail is because he does not wish to receive any more calls from me.

[mmiller5373]

I was a text message terrorist:

 

1. How can you ignore me? You don't even value me enough to reply?Does it make you feel good knowing you hurt me?

 

2. I'm not texting you anymore!

 

3. I really mean it!

 

4. I hate you and I hope you go to hell & take that thing you call your girl with you!!!!!!!!

 

When I see how psycho I was, I want to die. I humiliated myself.

 

I'm right there with ya. I would send text message saying,

 

hey how are you?

not gonna respond, huh???

After knowing each other for 3 years, this is how it is?

Okay, I understand you're mad, but come on?

I love you and miss you.

This is my last text, so please respond.

This one's the last one.

You won't hear from me again

 

Then I'd go NC for a few weeks, only to return to the same routine. Ahh!!! It wasn't me, I swear.

 

OK. This is a great post. I have been in the divorce process 2 years, and not even got to depo stage. Thank goodness I discovered the LS site yesterday. Regretfully, I hit rock bottom last night, prior to the excellect LS responses sinking in. I made a complete idiot out of myself by leaving nine telephone messages on my H's voicemail. This was a repeat performance of a month ago - only 6 less calls. I did leave a message of sincere apology this morning, and re-reviewed the LS responses and site.

 

Here are a few highlights of the messages that I left:

 

1. I'm your wife, you can come talk to me about anything.

2. Maybe we can come up with some sort of arrangement that will work.

3. Say, I'll meet you at 5pm at the Starbucks on blah blah street tomorrow (Xmas) - as I'm busy with an engagment in the earlier part of the day.

 

Now, I am going to read your history, and you can read the questions I have about has now become my rock bottom situation. I'm terribly interested in the response you might have to a bright, intelligent, and well educated (OSU Ph.D.) woman such as myself. Obviously I have been playing tug-of-war with a piece of ----. I feel like a worthless disgrace. I have absolutly humilated myself on a recording device. I am an idiot.

 

Yes, I said things like this as well.

 

I never threatened her, but I think it got to the point that her and her family felt threatened by me.

[Yasuandio]

Yes, Mmiller, I am frightened about this very thing. Of course he knows I'm not a threat, but this is a perfect thing to bring to the judges attention, not to mention a jury if it comes to that. Few understand my disability, bipolar 2, because, thru out my life time the desease has enabled me to make some great accomplishments. But under stress, and it appears with age, the bad side of the desease starts to emerge - even though you may look physically quite well. I just have come to terms with believing that I even really have this issue. But, my behavior in the 2 years of this divorce proceedings and the months that led up to it are genuine proof to me. I have the best medical care, but I could not get one of my mess phoned in that day I did the stupid phone calls. I am so scared I. Am being documented. But paranoia is a part of this condition. He is angry because of recent contempt motions coming up up in late January. I confused anger with caring. But an LS member really straightented me out. His advise was more useful than the 2 years of therapy on this issue. I. Am just waiting for the police to arrive at my door. Or a letter from opposing council next week. The things I get paranoid about would make a very comical book.