ecm Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 This is tricky and interesting. I think it has less to do with intelligence, and more to do with self control and pride. For instance, I have dealt with more than one boyfriend that just goes MIA when they don't want to deal with anything. To me, that makes them a coward. Have the balls to say you don't want to talk to someone! And I should have the balls to say "f you" instead of sending more texts, asking what's wrong, etc. I think if people like me had more balls to actually give them the big "f fyou", fewer people would act like cowards when they want to run and hide. I've had lots of drinks tonight, so I hope this makes sense.
musemaj11 Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 This is tricky and interesting. I think it has less to do with intelligence, and more to do with self control and pride. For instance, I have dealt with more than one boyfriend that just goes MIA when they don't want to deal with anything. To me, that makes them a coward. Have the balls to say you don't want to talk to someone! And I should have the balls to say "f you" instead of sending more texts, asking what's wrong, etc. I think if people like me had more balls to actually give them the big "f fyou", fewer people would act like cowards when they want to run and hide. I've had lots of drinks tonight, so I hope this makes sense. You dont make sense because we are not even talking about what you are talking about. Obviously you are drunk.
ecm Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 You dont make sense because we are not even talking about what you are talking about. Obviously you are drunk. ok, please hold. I'm gonna go back and read it again. I'm not DRUUUUNK, just a little happy. lol. well, not really happy bc my guy is a twit, but happy from some drinky drinky... please hold
ecm Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 You dont make sense because we are not even talking about what you are talking about. Obviously you are drunk. ok, smarty pants. I read it back. the OP asked if it seems that people who chase are less intelligent than those who don't. the reason I said it's tricky is because I'm smart and I will chase when someone (I'm with- not a NEW person) isn't responding. My point was that I know the chasing is stupid! But, it's not about being smart, it's that I think it's rude when people don't respond. How do you make the distinction between someone who is playing hard to get and someone who is just not interested. Just thinking out loud, so if my thoughts don't make sense to you, I'm guessing you might be one of the "chasers" too??? Lol, just kidding
dispatch3d Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I'm in the too much self-respect crowd (ie. don't pursue constantly). Apparently the "they are being rude" crowd is doing better than me. Go figure.
paddington bear Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I've noticed this a lot, with me and with female friends of mine. Guys who...gosh this will sound mean, but who are not as intelligent as you - nice, but a bit of an air-head, with not much to say tend to be the most verbal, have the most confidence and don't pick up on the signals that the girls they are hitting on are just not interested in them.
youaretheone Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I think it's not about being smart, it's about "having a life" of your own with or without women. If you are a man who has lots of things going on in his life other than desperately sitting at home, waiting for one woman to call him, then you come off as the clingy and loser. If you are the guy who has many interesting things to do and date many women, you do not chase this one girl and text her every minute. Then, when a woman does not respond to your one text, you do not wonder why she didn't because you have lots of other things going on with your life, which makes you more attractive.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 25, 2010 Author Posted December 25, 2010 I've noticed this a lot, with me and with female friends of mine. Guys who...gosh this will sound mean, but who are not as intelligent as you - nice, but a bit of an air-head, with not much to say tend to be the most verbal, have the most confidence and don't pick up on the signals that the girls they are hitting on are just not interested in them. That was my experience as well. It is a mix of them not being able to read signals, not being aware of the intelligence gap at all and being over-confident.
zengirl Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Intelligence is complex. I suppose the guys I like --- really smart, a bit nerdy, and great 'thinking' skills, meaning they actually like to think about things and actively learn (i.e. my boyfriend loves writing computer code, or going to a museum exhibit with me, or reading books, or solving math equations. . . . and these are things he could have fun doing) --- well, these guys might be a bit more shy/reserved on average, in general, so I couldn't see them crawling all over you like that. But it's got less to do with their social smarts --- Oh, I know this is the wrong move --- and more to do with their general personality traits. Even when such men are extroverted, they still end to be 'thinkers' who analyze and think about their actions, and that leads them prone to inaction (think Hamlet, he was all talky and thinky, and thus his fatal flaw was inaction --- not saying I like guys that whiny though). I'm pretty darn smart, and I'm the same way. You can have some idea by: How he has written his online profile. What/how he writes in his e-mails and messages. Of his verbal intelligence, yes. But that's one small component. I suppose you could judge other traditional intelligences --- some mathmatics and logic and such --- through his interests, if they're clearly stated, but not neccesarily. I definitely judge by the quality of writing, and I especially hate misspellings in a profile (pet peeve) but I don't think it is a mark against any kind of intelligence, except the verbal/literate portion. That happens to be my favorite part.
lso802 Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 If the guy's that persistent in all areas of his life, it could be a good trait to have. Anyway, I don't think it has much to do with intelligence versus having self-respect.
USCGAviator Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I think smarts has little to do with it. I'm sure there are plenty of super smart tryhards out there that fail with women constantly. Its simple really, women like to chase and be chased just as much as guys do. Its basic courtship and people that don't read the signs get left behind.
EasyHeart Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I think it has more to do with self-awareness than intelligence. Intelligent people may be more likely to be self-aware, but not necessarily always so.
tami-chan Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 the guy who pursued me relentlessly when I was in college (and was still married) was a genius( he is a very successful medical doctor now)....but was obviously, emotionally handicapped....
callingyouuu Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 I think intelligence overall is much too complicated to really generalize with one's dating habits. I'm a guy, and I've seen friends both whom I would consider "smart" and "less smart" make this error in chasing women. I think the primary difference, in my eyes, lies in being able to read the signals of the girl (emotional intelligence) and being open enough to learn from past mistakes. You need both in order to fine-tune the intensity of your pursuit to how interested the girl is over time. Also, if you're head-over-heels for someone, it doesn't really matter how smart you are. Attraction clouds your judgment makes you do really stupid things.
MJ2 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 No... I think that attitude and personality are to blame, not an IQ.
northern_sky Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 yes, though not always true. But there seems to be some correlation. I think less intelligent men tend to be more expressive, feely types on average. My last boyfriend was soft-brained but very emotional and persistent. Unfortunately, I'm most attracted to guys who are thinkers over feelers. But I also want a guy who is persistent. Gahh
musemaj11 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Unfortunately, I'm most attracted to guys who are thinkers over feelers. But I also want a guy who is persistent. Gahh No need to feel bad. Half the world population are like you. Thats called thinking like a woman.
MJ2 Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 No need to feel bad. Half the world population are like you. Thats called thinking like a woman. The average woman clearly prefers emotion over logic. That's where mr Bad boy & Dbag come into play.
threebyfate Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Disagree OG. More personality trait. It also depends on how sensitive a man is. The more sensitive, the harder he'll take perceived rejection to heart.
Star Gazer Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 I think less intelligent men tend to be more expressive... Man, what a generalization. I couldn't disagree more.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 I have definitely noticed the correlation with the men I dated (between how smart they came across and how much they persisted). I do realize there are other factors and I think TBF is quite right - it's mostly to do with the sensitivity. Sensitive men will withdraw at the slightest whiff of a rejection. Then it comes down to: are sensitive men more intelligent? Hmmmm.
Star Gazer Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 Then it comes down to: are sensitive men more intelligent? Hmmmm. They simply cannot be compared and no correlation can be proven.
threebyfate Posted December 26, 2010 Posted December 26, 2010 No, more sensitive men aren't more intelligent. They're also don't necessarily have higher EQ if they're self-centric individuals. OG, you're really reaching with this thread!
Author OceanGirl Posted December 26, 2010 Author Posted December 26, 2010 I was really trying to make my hypothesis go somewhere...but fair enough, I give up!
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