ItsNeverForever Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Weirdest dream last night... I dreamed I was at the "gym". It was so vivid...I was feeling like a champ, and remember having the realization that I was looking better than ever. I had on the greatest clothes, had the best equipment. I was chatting with the employees there, laughing, joking, having such a good time, so comfortable like I was in my own living room or something. I was happy, and excited to be there. Then xMM showed up with his buddies, and they were all in costume. Very strange in itself, but stranger than that, xMM was dressed as an American Indian...feather in the headband, the whole native getup, and his face was even painted...RED! LOL! A gorgeous black guy, with his face painted RED??? Anyway, after he was there for a few minutes, he jumped up to put his arm around me as I walked by the table he was sitting at with his friends. I looked at him, and asked why he was doing that. His reply? "Because I want and need to be with you. It's time now." (a palpable GULP escaped from my throat at that) After that, he ditched his friends and the dream was just the two of us spending lots of time together, and we somehow ended up at the beach playing in the sand and repeatedly retrieving floaty-rafts from the waves. I was very, very apprehensive, but enjoyed the time with him nonetheless. There was no real ending to the dream, nothing profound was discussed. Anyway, it was just such an odd dream. I can't get his painted-red face out of my head. Why was he in costume but no one else was? How/why did we end up at the beach? Man. I wish I could decipher this. if it was just any old random dream about him, i wouldn't think anything of it. But there were so many weird, vivid little details. too many to list, some I just don't remember enough about... I've had many epic/prophetic dreams in my past, that have ended up playing out in real life almost identically to the dream. These are those dreams that are so real I can't shake them, and they've happened so many times I can't ignore. It's got me a little disconcerted today and I'm not sure why. Also, when I got home from work last night, I sat down on the couch with a glass of water to watch a little TV and relax, and I just broke into sobs. Cried for so long that by the time I saw my Mom later that night, she asked what was wrong bc my eyes were so swollen.
4321sn Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Then xMM showed up with his buddies, and they were all in costume. Very strange in itself, but stranger than that, xMM was dressed as an American Indian...feather in the headband, the whole native getup, and his face was even painted...RED! LOL! A gorgeous black guy, with his face painted RED??? Well it seems to me that perhaps you feel you dont know the real him. Or he is prending to be something he's not. The Native American costume is completely different from who is actually is in real life. The fact that they are in costumes def means something. He told you what you wanted to hear in the dream...while he was in costume.. Interesting dream!!! Ill have to go back through your situation to gain some more perspective though
4321sn Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Im sorry you have been crying I have cried so hard that my eyes were almost swollen shut and they stung from the tears... Not a good place to be... I hope your mom is a comfort to you.
calliope Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Hey forever... With regards to the dream, I got nuthin... I really just wanted to say hi. I understand about the crying thing. Sometimes it just sneaks up out of nowhere and happens. I've been fighting back tears today, many times. I'm really missing him today... ...hugs to you....
Author ItsNeverForever Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 He told you what you wanted to hear in the dream...while he was in costume... Ohhhhhh...I hear you LOUD and CLEAR, here. WOW. wow. *thinking*
newpriorities Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I'm with the costume thing---you might not really know what lies underneath? Well, ok, I presume you know something about at least one thing under there! :pHaha! Anyways, perhaps a sign that you are heading toward your best self yet and then, who knows? Put some fresh cucumbers on those eyes, pop in some Visine and enjoy the holiday!!!!
Author ItsNeverForever Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 Hey forever... With regards to the dream, I got nuthin... I really just wanted to say hi. I understand about the crying thing. Sometimes it just sneaks up out of nowhere and happens. I've been fighting back tears today, many times. I'm really missing him today... ...hugs to you.... Awwww, noooo, don't cry, sweetpea! Fight those tears with everything you've got! You're miles away...with lots of activities to keep you busy. I, on the other hand, am stuck in the same town, same stores, same streets, constantly "watching my back" knowing it's only a short matter of time before I run into him. Not to mention the fact that on my way home from work every day, I can see his front door from the freeway. I've done really good, diverting my gaze the last 3 weeks, but last night I couldn't help it. His home looks really nice, all decorated for Christmas. Er, I mean, solstice...LOL. I wanted to be there. Maybe that's what brought on the tears when I got home. So...any crying that needs to be done, you pass it to me. I'll do it for you...I don't have to go anywhere if I don't want to, and if I have to stay in and nurse swollen eyes to save you the misery, I'll do it! {{{hugs}}} Oh, and to update, I haven't heard a peep since Tuesday's fishing expedition. Good, but still sad. man, will I ever get over this?
calliope Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 You are a darling for offering to cry my tears for me...! A few slipped out, but I'm now playing games with my 9yr old neice who I haven't seen for 4 years. She's making sure I stay occupied - haha! I love being the cool aunt! I know how hard it is when you have to drive by and see the "happy home". BTDT... But my thoughts are with you too. Take care...talk soon.
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