fiat500 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 It's been over a month since I was broken up with and since I've been in NC and I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I'm back to day one even though we haven't talked at all. What did I do to make him hate me this much? Guys, what would a girl have to do to you to make you hate her and not talk to her at all after you've broken up with her? After the phone call confirming the break up, I have left him alone. He said a lot of cruel things to me on the phone to justify the break up. He claimed I was trying to change him. When I asked how I was doing that, he gave me one comment I made in the summer about him not having empathy. I had not made that comment since, but during our last conversation in November, he brought up that one point to me. The last point he made that confirmed the break up to him was that I was a LIAR. I didn't mention that I was taking the same language course as him because I didn't want him to think I was copying him. The particular language course I was taking was what he was majoring in. I have a thing against copying people and I didn't want him to think that I was some kind of obsessed girlfriend that I had to take the same class as him. So he held that against me and said if I could lie about a class so casually then WHAT ELSE could I do????? He also told me that 5 months was enough to get to know someone. a little bit of my history: before this f##ked up relationship, I was in one for 2.5 years and I was in another state for 6 mos of the beginning of the relationship surrounded by people who were cheating on their SOs or spouses. Despite being in that environment, I remained loyal to my first bf. I am loyal and will never cheat. Why does he hate me?? Am I really the villain he makes me out to be ? Can't stop crying today. Feel so stupid.
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 The first thing to realize is that when someone wants out of a relationship they will use anything they can. I once got the statement that there was nothing to fight about and it ticked him off. This is simply someone looking for the backdoor and plan on how fast to make a run for said door. Just love yourself. Do things that you want to do because you like doing them today. Don't sit and think what they would think about, because they made that very clear. I know moving on right now is to hard to do, but take it just one day at a time and one day you will notice that the pain is not what it used to be. So wash off your face and if the mood suites hop into a tub fully of your fav scents, bubbles, and a book relax and read about someone else for a bit. Take a breather from the heartache. And look at what a wonderfull day today can be and not the morbid bleak onset it is.
january2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I once got the statement that there was nothing to fight about and it ticked him off. Unbelievable! Fiat, I'm sorry that you're in pain. I agree with AZGarnethawk's recommendations.
strangeways Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 The first thing to realize is that when someone wants out of a relationship they will use anything they can. Yep. I suspect that you're not the villain of this piece. He's just trying to justify his decision. What he's doing says more about him than you (i.e. he's a d**k). Try not to beat yourself up about it. I know it's hard to comprehend not talking to someone after you've split. My ex and I haven't had any contact for 3 months (we've been spilt for 3 1/2 months). She never made a single attempt to see if I was OK. But, in the long run him not contacting you is for the best. It'll help you move on. So wash off your face and if the mood suites hop into a tub fully of your fav scents, bubbles, and a book relax and read about someone else for a bit. Take a breather from the heartache. And look at what a wonderfull day today can be and not the morbid bleak onset it is. I like this advice.
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Thanks strange....Its what I have to do day in and out, but it helps to have a 7 yr old to keep my mind off of things.
delajoonal Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 yep, i agree with AZ and the others.. this guy is just making up cruddy excuses... he had made up his mind, he was done with the R.. and so now he is just making stuff up to get out of it quick & swift... how lame, to say he can't be with you cause u told him he has no empathy...come on..what a cop out... ack! u deserve better... but remember...omission can sometimes be viewed as lying...so be careful in the future with that one, OK...( the language class) take care...and keep posting
Author fiat500 Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 Yeah of course. An omission of a language class would automatically mean I would be sleeping with another guy too. Of course. it's so logical. I forgot to mention that I already discussed this with him a while before he dumped me and he wouldn't stop bringing it up. Also, it was perfectly fine that his language professor was flirting with him on his facebook wall. And he was flirting back. How dare I bring that up. She's only joking. I gave him my military coin as a gift because he was complaining about the stress of college so I thought it would encourage him a little. Now I feel like he doesn't deserve it and I'd like it back. But I'd have to contact him about it. He also has a video game of mine. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to break NC about it and I'm also scared sh*tless of him. I'm afraid he'll bite my head off or something. Or yell at me and tell me more belittling things like he did in our last conversation.
mikeey Posted December 25, 2010 Posted December 25, 2010 Leaving someone is one thing....belittling the person that you're leaving....totally unacceptable and uncalled for. This guy sounds like an insecure coward hon....even though are minds like to play games with us....when you get a chance, ask yourself....why would I want to be with someone who treats me in this manner? You can also consider, "would I want to live a life with someone like this"....Rejection is difficult to come to terms with hon....I think most of us can attest to that...but rejection by someone who is absolutely poisonous to your existence...should be a little easier to swallow. Stay strong sweetie, and remain committed to NC.
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