rhonian Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 does she still think about me? Is she thinking about me right now? Especially, with the Holidays season and we are on 2 weeks NC I want to know that she is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about her. I feel terrible inside that she is alone for the Holidays. Ladies, I guess you would know the best answer to this question. Also, whats stopping her from contacting me? What are the steps that she is proccessing as a woman? Do I continue my NC?
january2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 To be fair, we may share the same gender but we're not mind readers! You're in pain and you want that pain acknowledged. She may be feeling the same way. Or she may not. She may be sitting at home crying her eyes out or she may be on the town painting it red. But none of that really matters. It's normal to be curious about the other person during NC but it doesn't do you any good and only serves to wind you up and delay your healing. Maintain NC. Concentrate on getting your life back. Throw yourself into activities that are all about you so that you don't have time to worry about what she's doing/thinking/feeling.
Author rhonian Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 Thanks Jan. I guess now that it is Christmas Eve, Christmas tomorrow and New Years Eve/Day around the corner it is going to be a trying time (for all of us). Oddly enough, I just wish I could have a 5 min conversation with her and find out if she is okay with the breakup or wants to give it another try. For some strange reason, that info would help so much no matter what the answer. I guess its called "LOVING SOMEONE" ???
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I agree. There is no way to know how she is feeling or what she ould be doing without contacting her. Just do things for yourself this holiday and you will find you enjoy them more. Do things that take your mind off of her. If that's talking to family and friends or reading then do it, but don't sit in house and bemoan what was lost. Instead celebrate yourself.
january2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 No worries Yup, very trying time. But such is life unfortunately and we all have to make the best of it and get through this period as best we can.
AZGarnethawk Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 But try not to just get through it, but something to remember. Not for revenge but for yourself. To show yourself that you can be happy without them, you can laugh, and enjoy simple things....My favorite thing to do...watch a stupid silly movie like airplane or liar liar. When you laugh at simple things you find it easier to smile the rest of the day.
Graceful Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 (edited) does she still think about me? Is she thinking about me right now? Especially, with the Holidays season and we are on 2 weeks NC I want to know that she is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about her. I feel terrible inside that she is alone for the Holidays. Ladies, I guess you would know the best answer to this question. Also, whats stopping her from contacting me? What are the steps that she is proccessing as a woman? Do I continue my NC? mmmm. rhonian, from what I recall, this woman has a son, correct? This woman has a mother, correct? She is not alone for the holidays, unless maybe her son is with his father and her mother is ...? In any event, I think you are projecting your sitch onto her, and you're the one who feels alone for the holidays. Understandable. I suggest you refer back to your previous thread and put the spotlight on the way she treated you, her selfish, controlling personality, and her "me me me" attitude. Her way or the highway. You're romanticizing your r/l, maybe it was like that in the beginning, but not at the end. And also remember that she never went out of her way for you, how many times did you make the trek to where she lives? What were the reasons you could not bring yourself to close that gap and move? Please, go into recall mode here! Regardless, if she misses you, she's normal. If she feels badly, that's normal, too. But it doesn't mean more. And if she doesn't miss you, that's a person who is not empathic, a person who erases someone right off the slate, you go down a chute to some exterior place never to be seen again. And if that's the case, if she can do that after 2 years and after all you did for her, then she's not worth all the sentimentality, is she? So what I am saying is, it doesn't matter. Don't mean to harsh on you, if anything, I am on your side. Just a little attitude adjustment on your part and you'll be able to get through the holidays a little easier. So please forgive me. You know I only give advice when I feel I can help. Additionally, going back with her is not an option. You miss the drama, strangely enough. It's your pain talking. The holidays. Nothing more. Otherwise, it's wash, rinse repeat. Nothing will change. Take it easy. And stay the course. ======================================================= Yes, totally agree -- try to enjoy yourself! A funny movie is a great idea, I cannot believe how I can get into a funny movie even when I am feeling blue. Try to laugh a little, no matter what you laugh at. And if you do have anyone you can spend time with, do that, and try not to spend too much time alone. Great suggestions, AZ!! Edited December 24, 2010 by Graceful
Author rhonian Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 Thanks all, for support given. UPS and DOWNS....such a roller-coaster! Sometimes I allow myself to stay in the DOWNS too long. I guess I should take peace in the fact that she is human and after a 2 year relationship, of course, she is thinking about me. I should also take into account the fact that everytime we would argue and then make up....she would get so angry over my silence for 2,3,5 days saying, "I dont know where you were at?", "I dont know what you were doing?", etc. Why would she stop that now.
strangeways Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Oddly enough, I just wish I could have a 5 min conversation with her and find out if she is okay with the breakup or wants to give it another try. For some strange reason, that info would help so much no matter what the answer. I doubt this. Look at the threads on LS. I can't think of one time when it's helped anyone. You won't get the answers you want. You know what to do. Stay NC.
Author rhonian Posted December 24, 2010 Author Posted December 24, 2010 All I can say is......, you're right!
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