randy90631 Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 Hello Everyone, I've discovered over the last 10 years of dating, that dating during the first 90 days is filled with uncertainty. So far I've followed my instincts and my heart when it comes to the earlier stages of a relationship. I can usually tell within one month of dating that I'm dating a keeper. However, because I'm very passionate guy, I can be over zealous and rush things and thus scare women away from me. The attraction gets killed and i'm sitting getting worried about if she still likes me, and losing sleep. I think I'm very desirable. Good looking, funny, responsible, knows how to have fun, and successful. Although I can't control the desire of a woman to get into a serious relationship with me; I can control my behavior towards the women I date. So rather than shoot from the hip, which hasn't helped me so far, I came up with some 'code of conduct' for myself. I figure if I conduct myself the same way with every woman I date, I can focus on building a connection and second guessing myself in fear of scaring woman away. So here they are, please tell me what you guys think. This list applies to just the first three months. 1. Focus on having fun, flirting, laughing, and getting to know a girl Let her bring up "lets be exclusive" talk first. 2. Limit myself to 1 to 2 dates or hanging out per week. Being too available is unattractive. 3. Don't have sex within the first month. 4. Setup the next date with 24 hours of the end of a date. 5. Be a gentleman at all times. 6. Don't ask her "do you like me?" Assume she does, especially she she keeps hanging out with me. 7. Only send her a text message once per day maximum, unless replying to her message. Call her every three days or so just to chat. I really struggle with using the phone. I'm really good in long term relationship because I have a big heart, but its a pain in the butt during informal dating. The main purpose of these rules for myself is for me to know that I'm not displaying signs of a needy guy and give me the best chance to start a serious relationship with a woman that I feel is a keeper. Of course I'm always being myself; I want the certainty of knowing that I'm doing nothing to scare woman off during the first three months of dating.
Str8noChaser Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I think those are some GREAT things to incorporate into your natural personality. Not only does it focus on two people having fun (w/o the labels and where is this going?!?!?) it paces things. It slows down EXCESSIVE communication, but still keeps in slight touch during the course of the day. It allows you to emotionally connect to her first (a BIG desire in many woman) and allowing her to feel comfortable enough since you are waiting on sex. And yes, by not asking her how she feels about you and allowing her to express it, because if she does...SHE WILL, it makes you more of an alpha dude, while you still keep beta qualities. Good luck to you! 1. Focus on having fun, flirting, laughing, and getting to know a girl Let her bring up "lets be exclusive" talk first. 2. Limit myself to 1 to 2 dates or hanging out per week. Being too available is unattractive. 3. Don't have sex within the first month. 4. Setup the next date with 24 hours of the end of a date. 5. Be a gentleman at all times. 6. Don't ask her "do you like me?" Assume she does, especially she she keeps hanging out with me. 7. Only send her a text message once per day maximum, unless replying to her message. Call her every three days or so just to chat. I really struggle with using the phone. I'm really good in long term relationship because I have a big heart, but its a pain in the butt during informal dating. The main purpose of these rules for myself is for me to know that I'm not displaying signs of a needy guy and give me the best chance to start a serious relationship with a woman that I feel is a keeper. Of course I'm always being myself; I want the certainty of knowing that I'm doing nothing to scare woman off during the first three months of dating.
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